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Trying makes it worse

Trying makes it worse

Hi,

I'm EternalFlower and I've been feeling completely overwhelmed, sad, and pessimistic.

I've tried and been a responsible patient and person, reaching out to various services when I started feeling scarily anxious and suicidal, 2 years back..

My Dr is new, a young guy who regularly admits he's inexperienced, and aside from some good jokes, he actually does very little

I notice how easy it is to blame myself that I don't feel better, a total shame spiral, but I wander if my treatments just are bad....

I wanted to chat and hear anyone and hope I can use this space to help not feel so alone.

Thanks xxx EternalFlower

2606 replies

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In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Thanks for the update @EternalFlower . I believe in you.

I recognise it was terribly hard recently, but I'm glad to hear you have bounced back.

[edited]

I wonder if feeling 'foreign' is a common feeling in that you 'let go' of self in order to learn more about yourself? That was my experience. I realised there was an intense lack of self-identity and I had no idea who I was.

Hugs @EternalFlower . So so pleased to hear from you.

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Oh dear @EternalFlower

Sorry to hear you were in a cardiac ward. Yet your resilience shines through.

Group processes can be tricky. It’s not all… throw everyone in and they’ll magically love each other. Our genuine feelings are important to work through. You are doing that. So many feelings can be shameful and denied. I do it. Most do. Sounds like deep attachment and abandonment wounds. I like reading some quora forums about therapy. Helps me put things in perspective.


Glad @PeppyPatti @tyme and the others….talked to you… they can be comforting and inspiring.

good to see you over on the good morning thread.

I haven’t logged on to forums for 3 weeks which is a long time for me.

Actually have been struggling a lot myself and loved one had 2 admissions in a couple months. Utterly exhausted and very low mood myself.

sending a song …I will not crumble if you fall

tom jones

not able to do tek stuff on this device

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

https://youtu.be/hIWlcgj2Lbw?si=rNqSkoCyaiLEXl06

Dearest @EternalFlower

@Appleblossom

Did it for you Apple cherub.

Apple gives very caring

Words of wisdom. I copy and paste her messages sometimes.

Ide be exhausted too @Appleblossom

That's a lot to manage....isn't there a grandson in the mix ? I bet he gets all that love if yours.

@Appleblossom

You are very correct in group therapy. I personally truly believe in group therapy if the group is well facilitated. I believe it's a way for the future.

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@tyme

@EternalFlower

@Appleblossom

@lavenderhaze

@Friendlyflutter

@Appleblossom

@Meowmy

@outlander

@StuF

I feel that exactly how I felt when I was struggling through therapy twice per week from 1997 to 2002. One day I just walked in, gave her cash money and said

" I'm over this. Goodbye."

I used to cry and cry, f.....

I would rage and rage. She was so passive aggressive.....

I felt foreign - detached.

For those 5 years.

I felt exactly what you wrote @tyme

fascinating.

Today I hold my little girl in my hands before I place her safety in my heart. Sometimes at night she stirs. I feel her getting comfortable again.

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Ah @PeppyPatti so much thanks to you


The Joe Jackson was good … more dreamy …

@EternalFlower cooee

another precious human

In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@EternalFlower

I'm here with you.

Yes, pleased you accessed mental health programs.

When was it @tyme ? When @tyme wrote about feeling foreign I felt she/he was writing to me.

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@EternalFlower

Did you get the update on @tonys from @Gemma13 over on Re: Good Morning ?
Apparently Tony’s is still in hospital and is struggling with a few things but he is ok and getting better. He will come back to us here when he is able

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hugs @EternalFlower ,

Thinking of you. Feels like I haven't seen you around much. Hope you are okay.

Hey @Oaktree @PeppyPatti @Appleblossom 🙂

Remembering @tonys

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hey @EternalFlower ,

Thinking of you. I hope you are okay.

Please know we are here for you and hope to hear from you soon.

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