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Trying makes it worse

Trying makes it worse

Hi,

I'm EternalFlower and I've been feeling completely overwhelmed, sad, and pessimistic.

I've tried and been a responsible patient and person, reaching out to various services when I started feeling scarily anxious and suicidal, 2 years back..

My Dr is new, a young guy who regularly admits he's inexperienced, and aside from some good jokes, he actually does very little

I notice how easy it is to blame myself that I don't feel better, a total shame spiral, but I wander if my treatments just are bad....

I wanted to chat and hear anyone and hope I can use this space to help not feel so alone.

Thanks xxx EternalFlower

2606 replies

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In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

hi, thanks @Oaktree

new one seems good and has a lot of good qualities

i asked her if we can meet every three weeks face to face and she said yes

she was very open about how she liked to communicate, she says she overcommunicates sometimes, trying to get everything right

she seems good and positive. i have another oen i was going to interview but pretty sure i'll stick with her

the other one didn't have much to offer over the phone

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

hi @Oaktree @tonys @Appleblossom @outlander @Dimity @Zoe7 @Shaz51 @

hi everyone

its good to be here and to have got through this week with some new things happening

thankfully, i started looking for a new Support Coordinator midweek, after my old one had me cancel some workers she thought weren't so good, telling me that it'll be easy to replace them

she didn't do that so i started looking for someone else as an SC -

i have a new one now who seems good

i'm a bit shaky with my mental health trying trying

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hang in there @EternalFlower

You will get sorted and be much happier hopefully. You need to have a good relationship with those that are supporting you. You have done the right thing. Thinking of you and sending big hugs

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

thanks @Oaktree my old SC was a social worker and tbh i really trust and look up to social workers - i thought i didn't have to worry too much because she was a social worker

@Appleblossom no worries if u dont want to reply but i thought this might resonate with u re ur recent experiences with drs

how are u holding up?

@Oaktree on tuesday or wednesday i started looking for a new person which worked out perfectly, as on friday, after I stood up to the old SC saying she needed to help me find workers and she couldn't just send her son or any teenagers - she let me go as a client. but its good. I dont have to wory then and she can just have that on her.

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hey @EternalFlower

@Glad you are managing your team and your new spt co-ordinator feels like a better fit

Thanks for caring about me in my downtime. I am doing better than last week.


Today was pretty frazzled driving across town. Had 2 rehearsals with different groups. But good music and finding a good fit with someone in group really helps. Found a lady with cultural and vocational similarities and we are also physically vulnerable. Seems a good click straight away. Joking and serious and she is blooming good muso.

Yes I am also observing a psychiatrist’s fit in the musical social field. Hmm like a spider on the wall. But at least I am a peer at least. Not sure she’s comfortable with that, but such is life.

Sadly I was worried about a driving accident myself… but then witnessed a friend in a bump, minor scratch, but always stressful. Gently hugged her. Why is life so darned hard? Staying home tmrw and doing practice. Sated with good music and good people. Grateful.

take care Bella. Honour your creativity. Find your path.

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hugs my @EternalFlower ❤️

Here for you my friend

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

thanks @Shaz51 @Appleblossom @Oaktree

feeling a lot better and feeling like things are working out really well, with amazing good news and timing..

very happy with new SC and with supports doing what i need to help me

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@EternalFlower

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@EternalFlower


so good to hear your supports… are doing their job… and you feel a bit better.

good to see you too @outlander

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Always did say, Your a five seasons in one day, Lady. @EternalFlower .

My thoughts are with you in all of them. tonys..

 

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