Trying makes it worse

Hi @TAB it's a business, fancy place, they have meals and u can eat or not eat.

They wake you up to take meds and manage your meds but they can't really force u, that would probably be more if you're not a treatment order where u are forced.

It's a kind of setting where u see Ur doctor, do groups and see nurses a few times a day

I was on a very extreme ward with lots of very high needs people and no one checked on me at all

The nurses weren't very capable with mental health. I mostly just hid in my room. I don't think they force things but they do sometimes push u to do things like wake up early or go to classes and u are expected to obey

Dear @EternalFlower Thank you for explaining the sequence and events clearly.

Makes total sense to me. Hmmmm.

My history has meant that I am very analytical about mental health and mental illness. More than most. More than many raking in megabucks in the field.

Some people focus on the public/private system differences. Seems like there was not a lot of personal attention, if you were not seen by nurses for days. Hmmm....

Doctor may have been frustrated and concerned and worried about you, not just angry.... EXCEPT ... he discharged issues in a legalistic manner, not a concerned manner. The hospital discharged you in a callous manner. They could easily have waited the 24 hours and not kicked you out in the rain. Hmmmm.

Glad you could get back in touch with us on the forum.

Really, working on yourself and believing more in you, is the way. The Warrior Princess you told us about, may just be a metaphor but it can be powerful. Keep her on board, up your sleeve or in your back pocket, or even in a closet ... rattling around somewhere ... she does have a life now that you have posted about her. You might forget about her from time to time, but not too long ... you might have to dig deep to find her if you have too much junk in your knapsack ... she belongs to you now.

\

Being without a home when it is raining and you are vulnerable enough to be self harming is HARD.

Gentle Hugs

Apple

Hi @Appleblossom @Jynx @tonys @tyme

I don't really understand how I got so unwell and cornered, kinda feel like they won, they wanted me out and got their wish and I was kind of humiliated and without the dr in my corner

My gp doesn't want me to go back there or to that dr even if they take me back, or at least he wants me to step back and consider if it's really such a good thing I lost.

I am a little shocked he discharged me in that way, feels like he could not cope

Hmmm @EternalFlower Not Impressive by either staff, hospital or treating physician.

My history also has given me a nose to smell a rat. I have had close relations to people in public and private.

Not sure how you afford private ... if you are paying a premium or someone else is ... but once you get settled in your new place...and feel engaged with NDIS support etc etc ...a few months at least ... consider the cost of the premiums and whether it is worth it. Either financially .. or the payer in an emotional sense ... talk it out with people ... dont make hasty decisions, but I have been wary, when people go gung ho about private ... being the be all and end all.

Mind you PUBLIC can be a lot worse.

Dont do anything too quickly. Start setting up a decent life in your new home. Its important to address the food issues responsibly ... and shop at supermarkets often enough ... to have nutrition available when you need. I am not in the for ce anyone to eat or take meds ... camp. Just you will get further... personally and financially if you manage it... ADULTING ... one lady called it. Go to places for a bit of public and social connection ... like cafes and parks or catching a train ... try them all ... find out what you would believe is the right food for your warrior princess ... is she anything like Xena? We watched that when I was still with my girls. She could be different, you get to decide. There is so much BS we cannot decide but just ... s**k it up ... but your imagination is your PROPERTY. Cultivate it, and dont let in norty tresspasses.

Not sure what you did in the 24 hours. @EternalFlower Did you go to a train station or something?

I think it was a good call ... to refuse the catt team in those circs ... you survived ... they may have got all messy with treatment orders ...

https://exploringyourmind.com/the-female-archetypes-according-to-greek-mythology/

Gotta go @EternalFlower but lovely talking.

I slept ruff a bit here and there ... you are a survivor.

@Appleblossom I'm sorry u have slept rough but so grateful u have come so far

Thanks for the support

That's exactly where my head was at

I said to him that I have the number of catt and will call as needed, Hoping that that would avoid being sectioned

But.

I don't know if I upset him more by not complying

Legally he had to offer, I guess. I don't know

I seem to have done a lot wrong

And all I wanted was safety

Hhhmmmm not sure you did a lot wrong @EternalFlower I was not there ... but sometimes we are caught between a rock and hard place ... seems you are seeing things reasonably clearly.

Go gently with yourself ... the warrior ... is good for some of the time ... but not all ... cos everyone has to eat ... Demeter . and Hestia ... are good goddesses as well ... mix it up a bit.

Long story but a relative pays for the insurance @Appleblossom

I smell a rat as well

None of that had to happen

The 24 hours were a bluelr @Appleblossom

And the rain was extreme , huge, angry storm

I am not discouraging anyone from attending private or public mental health facilities .....I'm pretty pro seeking help

But when you don't have good supports you can be taken advantage of...some bad stuff went down on this stay

I was so attached to my dr

He told me "don't ever think I'll stop seeing you " and that I was progressing because 'you used ro always feel I'd stop seeing you and now it's less so"

He said we had some good sessions and some bad and that he could handle my emotions and knew when I felt I wanted to quit he didn't believe me.

And then he actually became my worst nightmare