Trying makes it worse

10 broken TVs and nothing aesthetic. Not a cushion nor picture... Its beautiful

See That right there is the start of a book @EternalFlower . You think old tonys is blowing smoke,

but he aint. I think you need to go way way back to the child's eyes, wonder through those rooms,

and Piece by piece, paint the pages.

Well.. for me, just think about it mate. take care @EternalFlower t mb 1

Thanks @tonys for creating the first page of my book...and they say that is always the hardest.

I hope i can write more and keep remembering and reimagining.

I was wandering how you are in hospital, if you are sleeping ok there?

I havent been too well. I think i am a bit unwell with ptsd. I am having extreme flashbacks.

I have been taking things slow which has been helping. My gp is going on leave and he called me tonight to check in, which i missed, but he leaves very lovely messages. So that was nice. It is nice to have a kind doctor who cares.

I have a new dr temporarily replacing my psychiatrist.

He is a bit older and rather intimidating! I am not sure if i like him yet. He isnt too bad, just different.

They have got blood tests and my vitamin d and b12 are very low. They think this is maybe why i dont deel amazing and tonorrow i am going to be prescribed some vitamins. Hope u are warm and cozy

Hello @EternalFlower Damn, yes I should have thought to tell you about Vitamins. Critical they are.

Please try to find a space and setting where you can close your eyes and fall back through the years

to pictures and visions of events that set strange feelings flow through you back then. They don't have to be in order. Thats for later. Then the, feather fine detail, let it flow to the page. One page or three it matters

not. No, nothing to do with heeling and all that. My gut just says there is a story to be told about your family, the period and you. Just hope I get to see page 2. No pressure, but tonys does like those sort of stories.

Ptsd , flash backs, Extreme flash backs. Now @Appleblossom lives and breath's this stuff and all I do is worry about you. But I pray that a way forward is found for you, because I believe in you.

I think you have a purpose. I think my only role is to hope I live long enough to enjoy the fruits of your purpose . . . which I will of coarse.

Well the docs and phycologist's just come n go and you watch the passing of the trains.

I guess these things just take a hell of a long time and we have to advance and retreat as the battle dictates. I'm finding Appleblossom Links are refurbishing my tool-shed. I have only been to one $700 an hour fellow. and he summed me up real fast. But I have to say the links are an armoury of

weapons you can shop from, when ever you want.

I'm not sure its about a cure for me. I kinda like me. But the understanding, Well..!

That for anyone is pure gold..

Are you in hospital or back home. Wasnt sure if you took that bed.

Well big hug @EternalFlower . Think the nurse might take my computor tomorrow. They reckon I need sleep so better go .. good night my friend tonys mb 1

@tonys Hugs Mate

@EternalFlower re writing and journalling ... and exploring the past ...

Narrative Therapy is a homegrown Aussie therapy ... from SA. Worth looking at ...

https://dulwichcentre.com.au/training-in-narrative-therapy/

One day I might do their free course!

Find ways to articulate your truths without being totally swamped by trauma reactions ...

Helps to have anchors in present day ... whether that be mindfulness colouring books ... reading books ... walking ... and noticing the outside world ....

Vit B and B12 ... are basic ... and partly from diet and from sunlight ... though we are more than those links ... that say we can live on sunlight .... Have you seen them?

https://www.gq.com/story/breatharians-the-people-who-think-air-is-food

@EternalFlower

I am not advocating any extreme approaches ... be careful and cultivate your inner wisdom.

Hello @Owlunar . My last visitor has only just left along with the meds trolly. I would not feel right giving you my hastily prepared and wrapped gift in your thread were the memory of your child lies, so hope my little

"unstructured" song goes a little way to thanking you for your fine art. Not much in the gift shop here..

Nurse that comes to my room has slowly been revealing to me the difficulties ending a loveless relationship. We've all been there. She had a few tears this arvo. Well .. thats all the excuse I needed.

LEAVING HIM. . .

She'll dress in grey then dress in white

She naked lays by candle light

He lies in white then lies in grey

Seeks truths in lies told yesterday

With second sight she'll second guess

Would strike them dead should she confess.

Those crimes of hearts tormented passion.

Enslaved in cage that she did fashion.

Saddled horse by open gates

but still she lies tween altered states.

Tears n truths could set them free

by poisoned chalice cease to be .

No scars nor blood upon thy sleave

those loyal dogs that will not leave.

In seas of pearls they waste away

dreams and schemes lost in the fray.

And in those dreams their free to go

beyond their ice to streams that flow

and wash away the lies that stain

Her momentary fade from pain.

She wakes to face another day

Live one more lie. . . or run away.. tonys moon base 1

@EternalFlower Hope your in a patch of sun

@Appleblossom Bit by bit, you teach me.

@LeChuck Hope your in a good space mate.

@Oaktree another pic of your garden please. Good luck with the tooth n holiday

@TAB Timing, you always know when I need a song and your solid mate.

@StuF are you back from your walk mate. cool fellow

@Smiling Gecko

@Meowmy . How is your tooth, Well just enjoy your holiday too mate.

@Shaz51 Thanks for your unwavering friendship, even when I'm out of order a bit.

That goes for you too @tyme and @TideisTurning . @amber22 .

Hospital is full on at the moment. Physio, visitors n all. You know the drill. So Going to have a little rest for a few days.

Take care Sane forum folk...

@tyme or someone, I would be really grateful if some one could send this to Smiling Gecko.

Ive spelt it a million ways and her tagg won't come up. Many thanks tonys

OK well @Sophia1 Just come back mate, We don't need words you and me,. We are all waiting for you my friend.. Just come back...

@Former-Member Thanks Apple you champion . fixed it in an re editt

Hugs @tonys

Ha ha Smiling gekko ... has the underscore _ I struggled at first ... lol

@Former-Member

like the dash with a shift.

Cheers all

@EternalFlower

Thanks @Appleblossom Your good mate. Real good.. gnite Apple. T

Aww thanks @tonys 😊

Sitting with you my friend

@tonys good morning Tonys, take care