Trying makes it worse

I only use my phone...and being a bit of a Luddite I don't know how that might vary what is visible to me, compared to if I was using a larger device, I'm sorry... @tonys ..........

@EternalFlower

Just read your post about police to the door. You must have been in a bad way. Allowing (suggesting) people to take their things, bag wallet etc should be normal. The one time I went into ED with police they gave me a taxi voucher to get home. DId they not organise one for you?

I am glad at least cop was caring and kind, and you did get home eventually, but the whole protocol seems wrong to me.

I am watching a video called "The Science of Feeling Safe" Its a bit long. I need to take it in small bits. This one might be better ...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRiwDooX16s

Making ensemble music in a group is helping me reverse the effect of trauma ....learning to feel safe with others. For me it is very gentle and soothing, and settling.

Something like this...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_DeQbGLYNQ

Something like this ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRiwDooX16s

Hi all,

How are u @Appleblossom i am looking forward to checking out the music, i like ur recs. You find interesting and heart warming things.

I am in the laudromat watching the machines....it reminds me of this song which melts me...i actually saw them live back in the day https://youtu.be/2t_OzVTphrc

I had a tears in car crying today over recent trauma and over my dad, who went through all my things recently and i just felt so invaded....and my mom who supported him and said i was crazy snd unreasonable because i got upset. They go through mail thst sometimes arrives for me ar theirnplace as well, then berate me about the contents.

Tired.

Thank u @tonys it is all good thank u i felt ur support.

Thank u for standing with me all. @tyme any support is welcome re police welfare checks...never had this before and im still so scared.

Hi @EternalFlower,

I'm sorry to read what has been happening to you over the last few days. Having the police come to your door would be pretty confronting I would imagine. I can also imagine the feelings of being invaded when your dad went through your belongings - that's a lot to go through. I think your feelings of being tired and scared are totally understandable.

I wish I had some advice or words or wisdom but unfortunately I don't but I do hear you and I do sympathise with what has been going on with you, and how you are feeling.

I really hope you are okay.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather

Hi @FloatingFeather i do feel drained and like i am seeking something safe and calm. I wander when i wont feel displaced..i have lost everything safe.

Hi @EternalFlower

I am here if you want to chat?

I know you don’t know me well but I am sitting with you in this hard time.

I am sorry that you don’t feel particularly safe at this time.

Meggle

Delicate Cycle ... what a thoughtful song @EternalFlower I like how it mixes up rap and folk ...

I used to say I was Molto Delicato .... then I went with Gently Bently ....

Wish I could make it better. Each person's family is the reality they cope with. Your parents really do not pick up on how they hurt you.

When I left home at 16, I packed everything I had in boxes. I have no doubt I made the right decision to leave then.

Maybe if you had more of your stuff around you in your own place you could begin to feel more safe.

Hey there eternal. @EternalFlower How has the day treated you. Good song mate. Real street poetry.

You have so much of the past you are still processing my friend. Those waves of memories revisit

your shores time and again, and How do we stop the erosion of the precious time given us. Maybe

one day after a thousand walks on oceans edge, the waves just, give up, . . or we brace and face

them down.

I wish I could remember the day I woke to still waters and just the happy thoughts of gulls scrambling

for the meal I shared with them. I only know it happened. . . Someone as simple as me somehow

made it through. Time, the right person caring enough, and small courageous steps from you

and one day you'll spread your wings and fly higher than I can dream. . .

Never a day goes by that thoughts of you don't cross my mind. Your friend Tonys mb 1

Hi @tonys how are ur visitors...i hope u have been well, is it getting cold where u are? Do u still sit out by the fire and cook up some food? It sounds like you have been busy, which is always good...

I had a good day...bit sad i havent been able to reach dr or obtain an appointment this week..my friend said she would call for me today but forgot...i usually achieve more myself i guess but i asked for help. He only works monday to wednesday so seems unlikely. Its ok. Its all ok.

I have been really lonely and i felt i could use some support, i feel i need to see him. Or someone. Idk.

Idk if my neighbours saw the cops come. There were a lot of them at my door and i live in an apartment block so they may have heard. It is embarrassing and feelings of shame from childhood of being caught out. But its not a crime to be unwell.