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Trying makes it worse

Trying makes it worse

Hi,

I'm EternalFlower and I've been feeling completely overwhelmed, sad, and pessimistic.

I've tried and been a responsible patient and person, reaching out to various services when I started feeling scarily anxious and suicidal, 2 years back..

My Dr is new, a young guy who regularly admits he's inexperienced, and aside from some good jokes, he actually does very little

I notice how easy it is to blame myself that I don't feel better, a total shame spiral, but I wander if my treatments just are bad....

I wanted to chat and hear anyone and hope I can use this space to help not feel so alone.

Thanks xxx EternalFlower

2606 replies

1,151 - 1,160 of 2,606

In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: HeloRe: Trying makes it worse

Sounds like your weekend was exhilarating, @Appleblossom. I'm pleased you gave yourself a treat, we need them from time to time. It makes our frugality in other times worth it.

Not a lot going on here. I hope you have a good day. The weather is looking rather sublime here, so far.

In response to: Re: HeloRe: Trying makes it worse

Re: HeloRe: Trying makes it worse

Quiet day here @Historylover Some music prac and a 2 hour commitment later. Need to get off puta.. or I might end up fossilised like a pieta ... NOT...lol

In response to: Trying makes it worse

HelloRe: HeloRe: Trying makes it worse

Hello sweet ppl,

I remember little birdy, a beautiful Bon Iver cover @maddison

Glad U liked Kesha, it's a story of survival , she wrote the music while in an awful contract with a man who allegedly hurt her and she wanted to get out of it. So she wrote her pain .

Hospital is weird for sure. I overhead the gross guy I don't like saying he's leaving tomorrow

This is good.

Devastating beyond re that nurse , U deserved so much better, they really impact ppl and intimidate us. I have forgotten how to ask sometimes because of fear, fear from this broken cage of a system.

@Appleblossom love the way you communicate here, I think we all do! I had a friend with a complex attitude towards music, interesting that you say relaxing . A lot of things get the relaxing sucked out when they are mixed with other things .

Thank U to everyone here who supported me around sh . It was hard to mention and I was held.

Hospital is complex. I'm always thinking I'm the problem

@maddison I relate to that and appreciate as well @Appleblossom that words sometimes get missed. I am asking but not being heard, so I ask again and again

This is a life skill I am learning. I am too passive

Hi @Shaz51 glad U felt the love. Would always love to share kindness with U here and big hugs

@Historylover @hanami @Paperdaisy @

In response to: HelloRe: HeloRe: Trying makes it worse

Re: HelloRe: HeloRe: Trying makes it worse

@EternalFlower

It is so important to be able to talk about sh ... it is very hard to even get to the point of discussing and not doing it, and then to be rebuffed or repressed is no good.

I have only had one Good compassionate response for me ... she eventually showed up years later as audience at a concert. It was weird to see her there. She was a gp. She went with me to my car to get the "offending" item, and let me sit in her waiting room just overwhelmed with tears til I was ready to go.

I hope you like this little girl doing "Imagine" and her father's YT is a favourite for me cos they play for animals and are beyond all the pretentious BS.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jbiFuxEn0c

I do not believe in endless mindless distraction, but some can be good.

Some distraction becomes mindful.

In response to: HelloRe: HeloRe: Trying makes it worse

Trying makes it worse

not been on here in a while @EternalFlower are you in hosp ? hope things okay

Ha ha I edited the 'subject' it was driving me nuts re thread lol

Hi @Appleblossom @Historylover @maddison apologies for other day Hey @Shaz51

In response to: HelloRe: HeloRe: Trying makes it worse

Re: HelloRe: HeloRe: Trying makes it worse

Hey @EternalFlower

Hope your day is ok. How is your snack stash? Wish I had one! Living of McDonald's cookies from last night's dinner.

I feel like I'm way too passive too. It's true, we get better every day at becoming more assertive.

Oh yes, that nurse really impacted me. I was unsure of myself days following. Intellectually, I knew I had done nothing wrong. The system itself is intimadating.

Thankyou for kind words. I very often admire how you find a way to support others, when you are amongst so much unfairness urself. I can't always do that. Sometimes I get tunnel vision & can't offer support - I can only express....

I personally don't have any issue at all with you discussing sh or si.

I wish I had had the ability & opportunities to talk when I needed. I really do admire the strength it takes to share. You are brave & I am proud (heaps) 😊

Soo....Birdy (skinny love) is beautiful!

Vs little Birdy...

Same but different

https://youtu.be/uiFlI8nuOnU

"It's ok. You're not a bad one - you're sane.

I can't help this pain that I'm feeling.

Relapse & soda.

My head is not all that you want it to lay."

In response to: Re: HelloRe: HeloRe: Trying makes it worse

Re: HelloRe: HeloRe: Trying makes it worse

Very lucky & happy Satang @Appleblossom 💚💜💛 this one.

In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Love ya @TAB I was snappy. Forgive me.

In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

How are you @TAB? Feeling better, I hope.

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Satang?? @maddison

Thai 100/Baht?

1,151 - 1,160 of 2,606