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Something’s not right

Still safe, but it's hell here.

Still safe, but it's hell here.

Hey there, everyone. Just feeling more than a little terror-struck at the moment and had to put my thoughts down as a record of my life unravelling.

I went to a local social place yesterday to see if I could break out of this slipstream and meet new people – the slipstream I mentioned recently of how, no matter how hard I try, and in how many places I try to start afresh, my life experiences, and the people I experienced them with, take up in new places every time I venture out. Different people playing the same roles.

It mainly started in my last family home where I had my 'parents' and 'ps-in-law' represented on either side. When I lived with the homeless, my 'father' and 'f-in-law' (same nationality too) were also residents and both gravitated towards me. They would both come and sit at my table for four at dinner. In fact, I got to know and understand my father through that man like I had never known my father in our actual relationship. He was so like my father, his personality with all of its flaws, yet he was really nice and good company. I could never relate to my father so this substitute was wonderful. Insightful.

I don't bring this about – it just happens. I am not trying to recreate my life and relationships. In fact, many of these relationships are to be avoided at all costs.

Recently in another setting, a number of past damaging interpersonal relationships re-presented and I couldn't break out of the repetition. Even a name of two particular people was the same. Yesterday I tried another, and my daughter who took out the IVO against me when I wrote to wish her a happy birthday was represented there, also even had the same name and exhibited the same misdirected lifestyle. The others were all different, but I'm going back next week to see if they have moved into different 'roles'. There were 4 of us and 3 exchanged mobile numbers but no-one asked for mine.

It's like I left my home state decades ago to get away from this dreadfully damaging system of relationships, yet it all just keeps following me around like unfinished business and it seems it won't stop until they take me 'out'.

The police officer who told me that all I had to do was write to the Magistrate's Court to tell them that I would comply with my daughter's IVO and it would be settled, was wrong. The hearing by Webex is in a couple of weeks and is wearing me down. I was very seriously affected by the hearing's approach, until I was informed that because it would take me 2 and a half hours to get there on public transport, it would be done by video which is a little less stressful. It feels like it may be the end of my upright life, that I am now tangled up with the law. I'm even wondering if they have been able to get my ex-psy to provide a false appraisal of me. It wouldn't surprise me in the least. Perhaps he set that up years ago. I will just have to wait and see. I know it will have a devastating affect on me even if I seem to shake it off. How could they do this to my daughter? They love these attention-seeking sordid goings-on. The centre of attention for them all again – and they are revelling in every minute of it.

I recently watched and was very concerned as @Powderfinger's life was going from bad to worse, and now it's happening to me.

And my ex-psy knows exactly what is going on in my life and how it is affecting me. It's like he is my puppet master. And he won't let me suicide because he just isn't finished with me yet.

And he told me, decades ago, that no-one will understand. So does anyone?

I have a strong feeling that they are after my money now and I am very scared. I've almost been stripped bare.

50 replies

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In response to: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

@Historylover

I am good. So far so good for the year, and glad to hear you are feeling better.

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Just checking in on you. I am pleased to hear you are doing OK, @AussieRecharger. Take care.

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Will Do @Historylover

Your situation is very difficult, and it would be easy to get caught up in your thoughts. Make sure you are aware of being caught in them and be mindful to focus your attention on the other parts of your life.

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

You're something of a 'wise old codger', @AussieRecharger, and there's quite a bit of it here on this forum.

It's very difficult not to get caught up in my thoughts as I have no distracting people, activities or conversation @AussieRecharger. I keep trying and keep failing. I can't take a trick because I just can't do anything right as far as others are concerned. I try to keep the lowest possible profile but nothing ever goes well. I just don't know what to do. I think my daughter's IVO has completely destroyed the vestiges of my optimism.

I keep looking for escapes from pessimism but events drag me back. 'There are no other parts of my life', that's the trouble.

I just want to enjoy what I can re-build of my life. What a mess.

I'm pleased you're doing OK. 😊

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Oh I hear you @Historylover

Pessimism and I have an old complicated history, I know of its depth of dark negating tendencies and feeling drawn into it’s pit, succumbing to it’s nature of despair. It really can suck the ability to what you’ve said “I just want to enjoy what I can re-build of my life.”

I can understand that having the event of the court date and the background of all that resurfacing having such an effect.

It’s nice though to read that in this duality you are finding connections here on the forums space, despite your attempts & of no fault of your own in doing that outside of them.

Such great community here on the forums, yourself included 🧡

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Trigger warning @Former-Member I have spent today and so many others like it trying to find some activities I could engage and socialize in, but to no avail. I'd like to find activities outside of mental health, to assimilate with everyday activities in my community, but it always comes crashing down. If I settle on mh groups, how do I ever re-integrate? I seem to have fallen well and truly between the cracks. I'm not a pessimist, just a realist and I have had such help to get here.

Am I condemned to mental health 'treatment' as my only 'social' interaction because the abuse I have endured all my life has excluded me from familial and social connectedness, and therefore has apparently assigned me to this prison for life? 'They' clearly are ensuring I don't get out. The only outings I got during my 15 year marriage was to my ex-psy. The only reason I ever had to get dressed up.

Trigger warning

I want to commit suicide, but there are so many potential problems there. If I mess it up, I will be too embarrassed to continue living in my lovely unit and I'd be forced to move to an unfamiliar location; my 'family' may be able to take control of my finances (possible?, they're just waiting to inherit) and may leave me asking for expenses from them, or I could be hospitalized or institutionalized. My 'family' – the lovely folk who have sent me into this living, permanent hell from which there is no escape. And I may damage my health! I spend my days trying to find an alternative path and I just keep getting stopped in my tracks. I could scream but I won't. It would remove my current anonymity here. I feel that I am on a steep downward trajectory with nothing to slow my descent. I'm just so sad, distressed and miserable.

This life of mine is nothing but sheer hell in which everything just keeps going wrong. I have no-one except this forum to turn to. Not another human soul and don't think it's for the want of trying.

No private e-mails from moderators, please. I'm just broken and having enormous difficulty finding two pieces to glue back together. You cannot imagine how tangled my life is.

Still safe

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Those questions I wish I had an answer, as someone who can empathise with what you're going through @Historylover

I hear the conflicting parts around the choices you have with wanting to end your life & what might happen if it doesn’t work.

I really appreciate your honesty and willingness to share what it is that you don’t need from us moderating here on the forums. I also thank you for letting us know you're safe.

I am here with you, if that is useful and hope that tonight you can stay safe.

If you do feel like reaching out to a crisis helpline at all please know that these are available
Lifeline 13 11 14
Suicide callback service 1300 659 467
000 for an emergency

Alternatively 1:1 peer support and SANE counselling can be found here from tomorrow if that is of interest at all.

Take care

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

@Historylover

Hey.. Forgive me I guess I just want to get an understanding to know more and I hear you when you say you are broken and beaten down.

When you talk about reaching out, wanting to talk with others.. What are you looking for, what is the message you are trying to communicate? I guess I am seeing 2 sides to what you are saying, I get the feeling of fear in being open, that by being open, you are open to being wounded or taken for granted for your financials, but at the same time, this stuff brings you no joy so I don't see the value you are putting on it.

The second side is your need for connection, not a validation of what has happened but I feel a need to move on. I feel like you do value your family but the reciprocated values are different to your own.

My question then becomes, are the things you are afraid of happening, the embarrassment, the loss of money and freedom.. it sounds like those are already occurring and it's precisely these things that are causing their self imposed suffering. Why are these objects so important that they are essentially keeping you prisoner and stopping you from being free?

You don't have to answer but you know where i am if you need me.

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

I can't be precise in my reply because it's so very complicated. And yet it's also very simple – to me.

I don't want to communicate a message, @AussieRecharger, – just communicate. To be part of a group in a number of settings, to be supportive and be supported, to be able to speak without being judged, to accept and be accepting of others and their foibles, because we all have them. I recognize mine and just want others to understand that if I let yours pass, please show me the same courtesy.

My life is just in such a mess, and so is my family/'s, that I don't know how to proceed. A complete, bogged down, tangled mess. Things just go from bad to worse to even worse, and instead of stopping, reassessing and changing paths so that history doesn't repeat, my family has chosen to continue with their stupidity rather than admit we all played a part in making this mess. All of us. Not just me.

I am at a loss as to what to do with them. I have been a genealogist and family historian and my family's history leaves so much to be desired. Long ago I concluded that, at some stage in our development, this lineage has to have the wit to say 'let's do things differently this generation', 'let's learn from the mistakes of the past', 'let's clean up this mess', 'let's have honour in our interactions', 'let's unfoul our 'nest''. That's what I was banking on – that my family would have the courage and decency to unlearn losing and destructive ways, to develop integrity. Family members are not flotsam and jetsom. United we stand, divided we fall.


I'm a prisoner in my circumstances. I can't do anything to change them. I just have to watch this train wreck in slow motion.

My ex-h, his @#*@ – who got lost on the way to her own bed, her own family and her own mess, and my daughters and their families are running amok with the controls of our ship and have no idea what they are doing, where they are heading. They just go in random directions hoping things will work out well. They are just so far off course.

If I attempted suicide and failed, I could not face my fellow tenants and would have to move – to an unfamiliar area from one in which I have become part of the suburb; my family – who have concocted this nonsensical IVO might be able to take control of my finances, especially if I damage my health; I could be hospitalized or institutionalized!! That is an horrific scenario. Today I am just so very angry that suicide is the furthest thing from my mind. I only hope it stays that way for a while. I can use a break.

People aren't MAD!! They are driven there!! And although physical weapons of one type or another might sometimes be used, psychological ones alone are all that are required, while those who wield them plead innocence and victimhood. I just want to rip the cover off this whole charade.

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Hi @Historylover ,

Your anger is understandable. It's hard feeling like we can't escape the issues and the mess that comes with our families, whilst also feeling powerless and alone in our efforts to change or fix them.

I'm hearing that the anger is keeping you safe tonight. Sending you hugs 💛

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