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Something’s not right

Still safe, but it's hell here.

Still safe, but it's hell here.

Hey there, everyone. Just feeling more than a little terror-struck at the moment and had to put my thoughts down as a record of my life unravelling.

I went to a local social place yesterday to see if I could break out of this slipstream and meet new people – the slipstream I mentioned recently of how, no matter how hard I try, and in how many places I try to start afresh, my life experiences, and the people I experienced them with, take up in new places every time I venture out. Different people playing the same roles.

It mainly started in my last family home where I had my 'parents' and 'ps-in-law' represented on either side. When I lived with the homeless, my 'father' and 'f-in-law' (same nationality too) were also residents and both gravitated towards me. They would both come and sit at my table for four at dinner. In fact, I got to know and understand my father through that man like I had never known my father in our actual relationship. He was so like my father, his personality with all of its flaws, yet he was really nice and good company. I could never relate to my father so this substitute was wonderful. Insightful.

I don't bring this about – it just happens. I am not trying to recreate my life and relationships. In fact, many of these relationships are to be avoided at all costs.

Recently in another setting, a number of past damaging interpersonal relationships re-presented and I couldn't break out of the repetition. Even a name of two particular people was the same. Yesterday I tried another, and my daughter who took out the IVO against me when I wrote to wish her a happy birthday was represented there, also even had the same name and exhibited the same misdirected lifestyle. The others were all different, but I'm going back next week to see if they have moved into different 'roles'. There were 4 of us and 3 exchanged mobile numbers but no-one asked for mine.

It's like I left my home state decades ago to get away from this dreadfully damaging system of relationships, yet it all just keeps following me around like unfinished business and it seems it won't stop until they take me 'out'.

The police officer who told me that all I had to do was write to the Magistrate's Court to tell them that I would comply with my daughter's IVO and it would be settled, was wrong. The hearing by Webex is in a couple of weeks and is wearing me down. I was very seriously affected by the hearing's approach, until I was informed that because it would take me 2 and a half hours to get there on public transport, it would be done by video which is a little less stressful. It feels like it may be the end of my upright life, that I am now tangled up with the law. I'm even wondering if they have been able to get my ex-psy to provide a false appraisal of me. It wouldn't surprise me in the least. Perhaps he set that up years ago. I will just have to wait and see. I know it will have a devastating affect on me even if I seem to shake it off. How could they do this to my daughter? They love these attention-seeking sordid goings-on. The centre of attention for them all again – and they are revelling in every minute of it.

I recently watched and was very concerned as @Powderfinger's life was going from bad to worse, and now it's happening to me.

And my ex-psy knows exactly what is going on in my life and how it is affecting me. It's like he is my puppet master. And he won't let me suicide because he just isn't finished with me yet.

And he told me, decades ago, that no-one will understand. So does anyone?

I have a strong feeling that they are after my money now and I am very scared. I've almost been stripped bare.

50 replies

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In response to: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Hi @Historylover ,

I just wanted to let you know I am here sitting with you. The fear and hopelessness you're experiencing around that upcoming court date is understandable, it's awful feeling like you have no one in your corner whilst things around you seem to be getting worse. You mentioned you're safe, but I'm wondering what you feel you need to support you through this time?

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Life isn't meant to be so impossible @cloudcore. The hearing was haunting me because I have avoided my family's presence purposely for 37 years and I knew they would all be there, against me – and I would be like Lindy Chamberlain knowing of my innocence, in a world that was prejudiced against me and unwilling to hear the truth.

When you commit adultery and abandon your family responsibilities to wife and children – of course it is all your wife's fault. But I was alright up until an escape from these responsibilities and someone else became available, otherwise he just stayed safely ensconced at home, like a free-loading lodger. Secure and looked after. Now everything is my fault.

I'm anticipating a hostile hearing and it will be traumatic. My own hostility levels will be raised and I will have to remember to say little. The magistrate will not find for me so what is the point?

What do I need? For everyone to remember the truth instead of their own particular rendition. To remember what I was subjected to.

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

@Historylover - While reading your post, i came to realise that your name is quite wrong. It seems you don't love your history..

What do you need at this time to get you be FutureLover?

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Interesting concept, @AussieRecharger. I just don't know what I need to be honest. I've looked high and low and can't find my cure-all, or my cure-anything-at-all. I just need a break, and a break I can start to build on. I'm so over-taxed by this ever-increasing trauma.

My ex-psy gave me all the wrong leads and watched, gleefully, as I went in all the wrong directions while trusting him implicitly. I'm having to treat myself, de-program and try to re-build at the same time. I'm not a miracle worker and he was a master manipulator. And I was completely blind to it. What a monster. I wish I could just heal from all this but it's so difficult. It does my head in.

I know I've said all this before but I'm still trying to find a way to outplay a master of deception who had for years programmed me to self-destruct. I just don't know what to do. I'm trying everything and every time I fail, I take stock and try again. The same outcome.

A bunch of friends would be great, but my daughters going in the right direction and sharing their lives with me would be the greatest. What a dream that would be.

I'm just so bamboozled, so tired, so lonely, so unhappy.

P.S. Sorry to repeat myself, but that's what is happening in my head as I continue to try to unravel this mess and heal from it.

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

I hear you are going through some big circumstances at the moment which bring up a lot of strong feelings @Historylover .

It's okay not to know what to do. It's a space I've certainly sat in before. It's not pleasant, but it may be just what we need for the time.

During some of my darkest times, I tried to get out. I actively looked for 'cures'. The more I tried, the more I failed. I needed to stop. Ground myself and find my feet. Do you think you are at this stage?

Sometimes, anxiety builds up leading to a day/date. Our minds are so good at preparing for the worst. Dark thoughts cloud our mind and our vision.

Then, after the event, we turn and say "Now that wasn't so bad after all".

I hope this will be the same for you.

Sitting with you,

tyme

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

I'm feeling a bit better @tyme. I don't know whether it was a particular response or them all collectively, but I am feeling considerably better. I hope it lasts. I hate to whinge about the same things over and over, but when nothing changes and it drags us down, we tend to tread the same water over and over. It just drags me down.

I hope you're doing alright @tyme. Life can be so tough, can't it?

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

My dear @Historylover ,

Life can be a bit tough, but it also makes us tougher people.

I wouldn't call it 'whinging'... sharing on the forums is also a way to debrief. It allows people who have different perspectives to share. This sometimes helps us with reposition our views.

When things are tough, we tend to have a 'negativity bias' towards everything we see.

Being on the forums allows others to shine some positivity into the tough-stuff.

We're here for you.

The forums have definitely played a huge role in my recovery in the past. And that's why I'm here to tell the story.

Hugs,

tyme

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Very wise words, @tyme. Any human interaction irl tends to send me in a whirl these days. This trauma of mine is taking so very long to resolve, and its so tiring and distressing.

Anyway, tomorrow is another day and I'm feeling ready for it once again.

Thank you for your input @tyme. What would we do without this site and each other?

Take care. Sending best wishes.

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

You and your experiences mean a lot to me and to the community.

Please don't feel like you are ever alone. Sometimes simply writing and posting here (whether people read or not), is like a load off your shoulders.

@Historylover

As much as I'm grateful for these forums, these forums wouldn't be what they are without people like you. We all bring different ideas and experiences to the community.

Take care my dear,

tyme

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Thank you for those very kind words @tyme.

I have sung the praises of this forum to others since having the very good fortune to come across it. I wouldn't be here without it. I wouldn't have grown or learned about the things we read of others' lives, worries and pain as I have done and am the richer for.

We do indeed bring different ideas to the forum, don't we? What would we do without this forum and the good folks on it?

Goodnight @tyme. I watched a movie tonight and fell asleep, missing the end. And I haven't done the dishes yet, at 11.32 pm. Goodnight @tyme, and thank you.

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