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Something’s not right

Still safe, but it's hell here.

Still safe, but it's hell here.

Hey there, everyone. Just feeling more than a little terror-struck at the moment and had to put my thoughts down as a record of my life unravelling.

I went to a local social place yesterday to see if I could break out of this slipstream and meet new people – the slipstream I mentioned recently of how, no matter how hard I try, and in how many places I try to start afresh, my life experiences, and the people I experienced them with, take up in new places every time I venture out. Different people playing the same roles.

It mainly started in my last family home where I had my 'parents' and 'ps-in-law' represented on either side. When I lived with the homeless, my 'father' and 'f-in-law' (same nationality too) were also residents and both gravitated towards me. They would both come and sit at my table for four at dinner. In fact, I got to know and understand my father through that man like I had never known my father in our actual relationship. He was so like my father, his personality with all of its flaws, yet he was really nice and good company. I could never relate to my father so this substitute was wonderful. Insightful.

I don't bring this about – it just happens. I am not trying to recreate my life and relationships. In fact, many of these relationships are to be avoided at all costs.

Recently in another setting, a number of past damaging interpersonal relationships re-presented and I couldn't break out of the repetition. Even a name of two particular people was the same. Yesterday I tried another, and my daughter who took out the IVO against me when I wrote to wish her a happy birthday was represented there, also even had the same name and exhibited the same misdirected lifestyle. The others were all different, but I'm going back next week to see if they have moved into different 'roles'. There were 4 of us and 3 exchanged mobile numbers but no-one asked for mine.

It's like I left my home state decades ago to get away from this dreadfully damaging system of relationships, yet it all just keeps following me around like unfinished business and it seems it won't stop until they take me 'out'.

The police officer who told me that all I had to do was write to the Magistrate's Court to tell them that I would comply with my daughter's IVO and it would be settled, was wrong. The hearing by Webex is in a couple of weeks and is wearing me down. I was very seriously affected by the hearing's approach, until I was informed that because it would take me 2 and a half hours to get there on public transport, it would be done by video which is a little less stressful. It feels like it may be the end of my upright life, that I am now tangled up with the law. I'm even wondering if they have been able to get my ex-psy to provide a false appraisal of me. It wouldn't surprise me in the least. Perhaps he set that up years ago. I will just have to wait and see. I know it will have a devastating affect on me even if I seem to shake it off. How could they do this to my daughter? They love these attention-seeking sordid goings-on. The centre of attention for them all again – and they are revelling in every minute of it.

I recently watched and was very concerned as @Powderfinger's life was going from bad to worse, and now it's happening to me.

And my ex-psy knows exactly what is going on in my life and how it is affecting me. It's like he is my puppet master. And he won't let me suicide because he just isn't finished with me yet.

And he told me, decades ago, that no-one will understand. So does anyone?

I have a strong feeling that they are after my money now and I am very scared. I've almost been stripped bare.

50 replies

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In response to: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

I work in that area @Historylover, I totally understand the stigma and judgement in that kind of environment and the feelings associated when you feel like every time you walk out the door, someone is judging you.

In response to: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

And, just to let you know the latest re restructuring my life in different settings: I mentioned that one person in the latest setting had the same name as my daughter and was living the same lifestyle...today I learned she is the same age as my daughter, as were her deceased mother and me, and her partner has the same name too.

I haven't told her anything about my private life, but am just letting the coincidences reveal themselves. The four of us had a shopping trip together today, which was lovely, and she encountered an acquaintance who asked if I was her mother.

Curiouser and curiouser...

@AussieRecharger @cloudcore @Former-Member @Appleblossom @RedHorse

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Glad you had a good day out and about with new friends. @Historylover

Aren't those "name" 'coincidences' curious. I have had so many in my life. I am never totally sure what to make of them, but I get the feeling of them comforting me. Of course wee have to accept the other person in their uniqueness, but there are strange mysterious workings afoot in the universe.

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Absolutely incredible @Appleblossom. I've heard of names being triggering and I understand that but I'm wondering, if we don't transfer previous relationships onto those same-named, how on earth do these coincidences occur?

It's very interesting, curious and a little unnerving. I'm wondering if this is my parallel life now – without my own family. I wonder if the same is happening to them? I can't wait to hear about her children and their names.

Yes, it was a really nice day. I almost felt human for the day. I hope it is the beginning of better things, but if it is a replacement life it will be difficult and mind-boggling to take. One day at a time, I guess.

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Curiouser and curiouser indeed @Historylover

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

A long time ago on my first christmas without my daughters, I had a mum with 2 girls the same height as mine approach and sing with me. I had a few friends with an adult daughter with my biological daughter's name. I am no longer thrown by it so much, more in the general flux and flow of life. Also my brother's name and ex H's name came up a bit. After a while I am less into the "woo" side of it, as one woman gushed about all her psychic ability all over me, when she saw a rush of recognition through me. She was too aggressive and pushy about it, and I was very vulnerable at the time. Also my own name comes up a bit. Now I am taking it as more trends and fashions in naming, and a bit of a numbers game. My ex really has a very common name and just relax in making conversation and noticing things ...

@Historylover We just have to celebrate our wins. Mostly this week has been good getting out and about.

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

I was just going through your older responses trying to locate the post with the opera and or classical musical performances as I don't want to lose the link. I chanced upon this reply which isn't showing in my inbox. I wonder how often this happens as I've found it happened several times of late.

As for the name coincidence @Appleblossom, it didn't faze me and I don't give it a second thought really. It's just rather quizzical.

There is no getting out of this mess for me. I hurt like hell to the point of constantly feeling ill and thoroughly desperate. Keeping my mind busy is all I have, but the solitude is hell. I don't know how long this social thing will last as it's so disorganized and may collapse. I'm looking for other ways to occupy my life. It's difficult. I've enrolled in online study of Psychology Concepts beginning in a couple of weeks. Perhaps I should do some study beforehand. I had been enrolled in Aboriginal Studies but dropped out when I learned I had to do a filmed presentation and the technology is beyond me. I hope there are no such expectations with Psychology and hope it isn't too difficult. I hate not finishing what I start.

I'm pleased you've had a reasonable week @Appleblossom. Your course not started yet? Mine starts April.

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

@Historylover Sometimes the notifications do not seem to come through. It happened yesterday and it has happened before. Often I only discover a lot later while generally scrolling through forums, that someone has tagged me and I never got it.

I just had a thought that some of that "woo" name stuff was about locus of control. That I had an external 'locus of control', due to early abandonment and being surrounded by a lot of more powerful people and institutions. I also have resilience and independence, but the psycho-social side of life is huge. So in trying to integrate after all the deaths and betrayals, those little coincidences helped me feel less invisible.

Re study, I am struggling with a technical issue which I have to solve soon or I will be running behind. Multi factor authentication ... is doing my head... I resisted having a phone til a couple months ago and my phone is too old for their tek ... weary sigh ... I feel it is wrong I am supposed to buy the latest and greatest .... which I deeply abhor ... its not just a money thing ... just to study ... never mind ... see what happens next week.

Filling the loneliness well, feeling we are worthy to do so ... is important.

Its Good to look forward to your course.

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

I know what you mean re the phone. Mine is acting up, disconnecting calls at 30 minutes, and trying to understand what I should do to fix it is bewildering. I have rung the phone's technology help line and my provider, but am just trying to work things out for myself to avoid having to buy a new one. My latest brainwave is that my problem may be caused by a recently uploaded app. See what happens at my next 30+ minute call. Technology!

Multifactorial authentication was referenced when I was on my last course, but it never seemed to interfere, but other convoluted processes had me tearing my hair out. I can imagine your frustration.

Re the coincidental names, I have also remembered that, about 30 years ago, my parents had new next door neighbours who had two sons with the same names as my brothers, which are not common, but of their era. I have rarely encountered others of those names myself. So it's certainly not an unknown coincidence. It seems like the universe is communicating but I have no idea how to benefit from its advice. The neighbours didn't also have a daughter tacked on 10 years later, as I am. I wondered if that was significant. 🤔

Re the expense of these courses and the requirements – mine is several hundred dollars, for a ten week course textbook. I managed to get one for around $60 second-hand, in transit. Currently studying from it online. The course doesn't start for a few weeks yet so I should, hopefully, be conversant by then. It's all very interesting. I just wish I didn't feel so negative regarding my ability and everything else at the moment.

In response to: Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

Re: Still safe, but it's hell here.

@Appleblossom, you recently referred to 'parental alienation'. It was a term I had never encountered before, although I was familiar with the behaviours leading to the situation with my precious daughters.

I have done a little research on the subject and watched a video on the practice today. It gave me further insight. The woman, whose qualifications escape me at the moment, described it as one party taking the position of winning at all costs in the custody/access battle – the low road – with the prize being the child/ren and their exclusive favour, to the total exclusion of the other parent. She then spoke of taking the high road and not playing the game. That is the position I took. When asked how that would eventuate, she laughed before pulling herself back into line. She was implying that there is no point in taking the high road.

So what do we make of this situation? I am almost dumbstruck as to what our society has become. It seems no-one has the child's best interest at heart and there are no consequences for this disgusting behaviour. Winner takes all – and the children get trampled underfoot.

My daughter is severely damaged but she can't see it. She has lost her 'niceness' and that's such a tragedy. Paying such a price isn't winning at all, is it? Not for anybody.

I don't know what to do @Appleblossom. Motherhood is no cakewalk.

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