@wavelength42 Welcome to the Twilight Zone - Whoops! I meant Safe Zone.
I too was very hesitant about taking that first step. In fact, I went back and forth over it for at least a year or more.
Being a successful member of a group, be it in the real or virtual world, is something I have rarely experienced. Plus, with my up down cycle, the thought of committing myself to maintaining some form of presence on here, let alone looking to the needs of others, was exceptionally daunting. But so far, it has actually gone really well, and sharing my thoughts and feelings in this forum has proved very helpful for me.
Not that my subconscious has stopped nattering away about it being early days, and how I always end up screwing things up in one way or another. The truth is that I'm still expecting I'll post something that will result in my being attacked because of what I wrote or how I expressed it. However, when that's pretty much been the pattern of your life, it's a tough foreboding dread to shake. Nonetheless, I have to tell you that the moderators on here are diligent in their duties. Softly, softly they pad, searching out anything that might bring us harm be it caused by ourselves or others.
Now, look at you! You've taken that first step. Respect. That took a lot of courage, to which I can relate. Whatever happens after this, I encourage you to celebrate this awesome achievement.
Imagine me, in the past, having to fight to force myself to go out into the world for one reason or another, because for me it can feel akin to having to climb Mount Everest. That rare day finally comes when I muster up the courage to do it. I pick up my keys, open my door, and head to my Ute.
Then, once I'm sitting inside it, suddenly the thought of being out in public where I will have to deal with people, where I will be vulnerable, overwhelms me. I cave telling myself that I just can't do this and back inside I go.
But standing in my living room, I remember that over the past week or so I haven't been able to convince myself to even open my front door. This time, however, I've achieved so much more. I start celebrating that victory to a ridiculous level.
I applaud myself for the fact that I actually managed the herculean feat of opening my front door, before making that exhausting trek across the wilderness that lay between myself and my Ute. Yet more glory awaited as I heroically opened my Ute door AND closed it after sitting down inside. Even more truly astounding. I made a miracle happen by inserting my key into the ignition.
I know! I know! If crowds had been gathered watching, they'd have been cheering themselves hoarse.
It really is a fantastic achievement. Fantastic because we are not 'normal' people. No, we are the Nero-divergent for whom some of us at times may find simply getting out of a chair requires stoic heroism, the acceptance of a journey that will be just as harrowing as getting that damn precious back to its melting pot was.
Not being afraid to do something and doing it is not courage. Not letting fear prevent you from doing what you are afraid to do is the purest form of courage there is.
Therefore, well done! Last week the door remained closed, this week it isn't.
