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Hi All

My anxiety and panic attacks are over the top. I jus sat here for ages trying to work out if i should or should not and that is what it is like for everything i do. then it takes another ages to try and work out if I should hit post or not.Then i re read post a thousand times. Then I feel like crying, start to shake and off we go again

Hi @justcoz,

Welcome to the forums. My name is FloatingFeather and I am one of the peer support workers at SANE. I really feel for you an empathise - I have had anxiety a few times in my adult life and it can be so difficult and challenging to deal with. The good news is that anxiety is very treatable with the right support. Do you have a GP you could speak to about this? A GP is a good place to start because they are usually quite experienced in treating anxiety and/or pointing you in the right direction.

I'm really glad you were brave enough to press the post key - you are in a safe space with many people that understand what you are going through and are supportive.

Best wishes,

FloatingFeather

Thanks for your response, I have been to doctors counsellors, but about 3 years ago i just disengaged myself from all humans, If i dont have anything to do with them I am sort of stable , and it is working quite well, I was so over fighting with in my head and so tired of it all, it is so draining trying to combat it all the time. I had my dog but my goof of a dog passed away on the 18th of April I miss her so much , i laughed everyday (maddie was a saintt bernard) Maybe that is why i am struggling again I dont know but i wonder if it is worth fighting the anxiety or just keep doing with what I am doing , So basically i got out once a fortnight for groceries and thats it , my children said its no way to live but i was content I think.

Hi @justcoz

Welcome to the forums. You must be missing your dog so much. Pets are amazing at helping us regulate our emotions. They bring a lot to our lives.

When any of our pets have passed away we usually wait a few months and look for a new one. I just can't be without one for long. Anyway, just want to say welcome and hope you find lots of support here (which I'm sure you will).

Hugs

Hanami

So know we have two things in common @justcoz - not only do I suffer from anxiety on and off I also had a Saint Bernard called Barney who sadly passed away a few years ago. He is my most favourite dog (I won't tell my two little pugs this) so I totally get how much Maddie's passing can effect you. I also understand how much you must miss Maddie - I'm really sorry for your loss. I miss my Barney too - he was also a goof (69kgs of goof to be exact)!

Maybe, when you feel up to it a little, you could just have a walk out the front, walk around the block, etc. You might find it helps your anxiety a bit?

Thanks , Maddie was 75 kgs I was lucky she was with me for 10 years, just looking at her i use to laugh, we use to have some unreal convo's and cuddles. I don't know wether i want to start the process of working threw my anxiety again or this stage will pass but honestly i dont like to go outside , I dont even check letter box (i leave it till night time) and you seem to be getting some where and then they say your ok / or you are ok and then it just crumbles. So I found a way where i dont fall in a heap all the time, and do I open my life up to humans or do i just stay in my little bubble I have created . I just dont know.

Hey @justcoz

Congrats on posting and opening up to the forum. I have not had big dogs, but prefer them and appreciate your fondness for your Great Bernard. Maddie must have been Dog Plus.

For a while I volunteered at a zoo, and can relate to being hesitant about relating to humans. I am trying at the moment, and am learning to be more assertive, so that I do not get used or pushed around. It is new ground for me.

Take Care and I hope the forum helps.

Thank you

No worries @justcoz They are a good bunch here and it helped me to get my social juices flowing a bit, and trust that there may be some people out there with whom I can relate.

Hi,

Im currently in detox withdrawing from long term addiction. My support worker told me about SANE. Around 13 yrs old I started using which actually made me feel very paranoid tbh but peer pressure etc and wanting to b accepted I carried on. Around 15 I found a particular drug and they made EVERYTHING better. The world was my oyster. They also made me very destructive. I went on to use anything and everything for fun, to cope, for attention, to help me try to understand life. Ever since I was young like 5 or 6 I’ve been anxious and very worried about things happening. Scared to get in trouble. Scared of losing my parents. I’d get depressed and have a very distorted self image. I am very caring and loving but can say really mean things to my loved ones. Mainly my husband and family. I think way too much. I get paranoid that im responsible for peoples moods. I feel discontent. I feel lonely and empty a lot. I get bored easily. Im unmotivated. I have 3 beautiful little boys that I love to the ends of the earth. Im getting clean for them and hopefully I can learn to love myself enough to stay clean for me. I can’t go to rehab after this due to family and financial restrictions. Im going to hit the ground running when I leave here as my husband is fifo and im a stay at home Mum. I am a great mum I know that and I keep my babies close and want the best for them. I don’t want them following in my footsteps.
As a teen I self-harmed and took too many drugs which lead to many hospital and psych ward admissions. I’ve been to rehab and detox several times. There’s alot of stuff in my past. I’ve seen a lot. I’ve learnt about this thing called complex trauma. I’ve been diagnosed with BPD as a teen but it was never addressed. I wonder if this is still an issue. I can lack empathy but I feel alot. I feel too sensitive for this world. I love to laugh but I don’t often. This past year my mental health has broken down real bad. I started getting insomnia about a year ago. I fall in love with caregivers, always female and pretty. Then I can start to hate them. Sometimes I wonder if im gay. I don’t know. I love my husband. I guess I just fantasise about women. I really struggle with my identity. Sorry for the novel. I’m terrified of living without drugs an alcohol but I’m terrified of what’s gonna happen if I keep it up. So anxiety, social anxiety, depression and maybe BPD. Complex trauma and I’m struggling a lot atm being in here and scared of going home. I miss my family so bad but really scared of leaving this bubble. I have a lot of guilt atm. I’m a mess