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no choices

seamusunseanSenior Contributor24 Sept 2016, 6:05 am AEST

no choices

Gday im 45 just coming out of a divorce where my children have been systematically taken from me after being a stay at home dad for around seven years. My ex walked out claiming she was living a single life anyway . I kept the kids but started to struggle when she locked me out of our joint account . I was in shock and not copping . Her parents bought her a new house . I was struggling to keep food on the table and pay the bills when i decided maybe it would be best if the kids lived with there mum who had financial backing of her parents . Thats when the lawyer letters started claiming i was mentally unfit to see my children...anyway long story ive basically lost every thing now with a 20,000 debt and still dont get to see my kids ...the courts dont even seem to care about anything i have to say im constantly agreeingto her demands to at least get a supervised visit or phone call....now im giving up feeling like the system agrees with her and im better off out of the picture ...ive started saying goodbyes to friends and family ...my heart constantly aches for my boys ..ive missed so much already ...sick of crying and cant function...last ditch effort.

179 replies

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In response to: no choices

seamusunseanSenior Contributor29 Nov 2016, 7:19 pm AEDT

Re: no choices

Sick of the merry go round sorry

In response to: no choices

CherryBombSenior Contributor29 Nov 2016, 7:23 pm AEDT

Re: no choices

Hi @seamusunsean,

The pain that it sounds like you're going through is really painful, and I can see how much you love your children - to the point where it's unbearable. It's sounds terribly unfair, and it seems like you've been backed into a corner with no way out, with no more choices. While it may seem this way, remember, as @NikNik pointed out, you still have your kids. While you may not be able to see them, which is undeniably painful, they are still your boys. No one can take away that they are your boys. I strongly encourage you to persevere for your boys as @Appleblossom. While ending your life may seem it like will relieve your pain, this is permanent, and has painful, and lasting effects on those around you, including your sons.

You're going through a really trying and unjust situation, please keep on reaching out and talking about what you're going through. While we're not crisis support, if you're thinking about suicide, I strongly urge to get some support (the numbers are below).

CherryBomb

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Mensline 1300 789 978

If in immediate danger: 000

In response to: Re: no choices

BlueBaySenior Contributor29 Nov 2016, 7:32 pm AEDT

Re: no choices

Hi @seamusunsean

ive been reading your posts and i feel so sorry for you. But as @CherryBomb has said you still have your boys, you are their dad and will always be their dad. And from what ive read you sound like a great dad.

Pls contact those numbers, pls dont give up.

take care, sending you love and strength

In response to: no choices

espritSenior Contributor29 Nov 2016, 8:39 pm AEDT

Re: no choices

It's a process you will get through. Bad days ok days good days. Just remember good days and hope after the dust settles there will be more good than bad. You just need some kindness and support. I hope you find it. Xx

In response to: no choices

seamusunseanSenior Contributor06 Dec 2016, 12:34 pm AEDT

Re: no choices

Well still cant seem to break the cycle. ...havnt followed through with rental property no money for food and fuel ...and ex taking kids to fiji ...oh and hot water service broken...everything i try turns to shit....cant see any future.

In response to: Re: no choices

AppleblossomSenior Contributor06 Dec 2016, 10:56 pm AEDT

Re: no choices

I had a great financial imbalance around my daughter too .. and yes overseas holidays for kids are just the thing .. to make it extra hard.

Believe YOU can survive it .. @seamusunsean

dads are more important than holidays.

Take a few solid steps .. to get a secure home base .. you also DESERVE it.

In response to: no choices

seamusunseanSenior Contributor06 Dec 2016, 11:03 pm AEDT

Re: no choices

Dont think im gonna make it....its gonna be a bad month! She keeps asking me to settle out of court and give her full custody why is that...shes been given all shes wanted anyway....must be just to save her lawyer fees do you think?

In response to: no choices

Unknown userMember06 Dec 2016, 11:07 pm AEDT

Re: no choices

Its all bluff, try ignore it. Been there done that. Nobody wins from famiy court, accept the solicitor s, judges etc. They're laughing.

In response to: no choices

seamusunseanSenior Contributor06 Dec 2016, 11:19 pm AEDT

Re: no choices

No truer words Tawney....so unnecessary....no justice what so ever ....broken!

In response to: no choices

Unknown userMember06 Dec 2016, 11:34 pm AEDT

Re: no choices

You'll get time with your kids, its the law, and they grow up soon enough and make up their own minds. Its such a betrayal from the other partner. Once all our bickering stopped I lost my only girl to asthma. Nothing makes sense, just make sure you're in their lives somehow, to o be them, to support them to adulthood. Its a rollercoaster ride but you must find something that ankors so you can dock and get respite. Of cause vote someone in the know to play the 'legal' system, makes the high paid judges jobs easier (poor dears). We went all the way to trial then waited months for a verdict that broke me, oh and then she died. Destroyed me, all of it. Just love your kids and play fair. Be the bigger person. Xox

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