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no choices

seamusunseanSenior Contributor24 Sept 2016, 6:05 am AEST

no choices

Gday im 45 just coming out of a divorce where my children have been systematically taken from me after being a stay at home dad for around seven years. My ex walked out claiming she was living a single life anyway . I kept the kids but started to struggle when she locked me out of our joint account . I was in shock and not copping . Her parents bought her a new house . I was struggling to keep food on the table and pay the bills when i decided maybe it would be best if the kids lived with there mum who had financial backing of her parents . Thats when the lawyer letters started claiming i was mentally unfit to see my children...anyway long story ive basically lost every thing now with a 20,000 debt and still dont get to see my kids ...the courts dont even seem to care about anything i have to say im constantly agreeingto her demands to at least get a supervised visit or phone call....now im giving up feeling like the system agrees with her and im better off out of the picture ...ive started saying goodbyes to friends and family ...my heart constantly aches for my boys ..ive missed so much already ...sick of crying and cant function...last ditch effort.

179 replies

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In response to: no choices

seamusunseanSenior Contributor25 Nov 2016, 4:08 pm AEDT

Re: no choices

I have tryed them will try again ...thanks

In response to: Re: no choices

Unknown userMember25 Nov 2016, 4:23 pm AEDT

Re: no choices

Hi @seamusunsean

I'm sorry to hear your are struggling at the moment.

Thank you for reaching out to us, please remember we are here for you and the helpline numbers you have if you feel like connecting with someone on the phone.

Can you tell us more about seeing your kids tomorrow?

In response to: Re: no choices

NikNikSenior Contributor25 Nov 2016, 5:42 pm AEDT

Re: no choices

Hi @seamusunsean

As I said in my email, from you posts what I have picked up is that you’re going between being in immense pain (physically and psychologically) and also being numb to everything – both are normal reactions to an abnormal situation. Most of all I can sense your exhaustion.

Most people who talk about wanting to end their lives are looking to stop the pain (psychologically and/or physically) however, this option is a very permanent solution to a situation that (while it may not seem it now) has many different outcomes which can move and change (both good & bad) at any given time.

My understanding is that your end goal is to have a closer relationship with your children, and people here can assist you in working out the steps towards that goal. It may be a long process, but from the sounds of how much you love your kids, a worthwhile one.

You mentioned you have recently got letters from lawyers and are getting follow up calls for money. Have you explored getting a Financial Counsellor? They are free and confidential http://financial-counselling.org.au/

Lots of things going on = overwhelm. One step towards the end goal at a time.

In response to: Re: no choices

ArjaySenior Contributor25 Nov 2016, 7:27 pm AEDT

Re: no choices

Please forgive me I haven't read everything. Dad of two ex.... Both of my children were gone from me for a number of years. My eldest (now 25?) started coming back a few years ago, last year my youngest(now 17) started contacting me. Is good to have them in my life again. I was told by my pdoc you have developed a relationship and that will hold in the long term. A hard pill to swallow a long time ago but he was right. Wish all the best for you.

Oh and my two step children(adults) now I am a Pa!

In response to: no choices

PrincessmollySenior Contributor26 Nov 2016, 10:27 pm AEDT

Re: no choices

@seamunsean how are you doing today? I just posted a post about having no friends and being lonely and instantly felt ashamed fir my first world problems compared to what you are going through. Always thinking of you!

In response to: no choices

seamusunseanSenior Contributor27 Nov 2016, 1:27 am AEDT

Re: no choices

Great day with my boys then got out of house to avoid the silence and stop myself tailspinning down dont waste your time thinking about me and mine ill get there somehow i just follow my heart ...an old bloke said to me once its character building sometimes i wish i wasnt so dramatic and woe is me ....we all have our own demons ...just hope i can return your kindness someday...

In response to: no choices

KurraSenior Contributor27 Nov 2016, 1:34 am AEDT

Re: no choices

I'm so pleased you had a great day with your boys @seamusunsean! It's good you managed to put the brakes on a possible tailspin.
We are here for you. Take care and sweet dreams about the beautiful day you've had. Hugzzz

In response to: Re: no choices

Unknown userMember27 Nov 2016, 7:19 pm AEDT

Re: no choices

Hi @seamusunsean

How are you travelling today? Keep yourself busy?

Regards,

Frog

In response to: no choices

seamusunseanSenior Contributor29 Nov 2016, 6:24 pm AEDT

Re: no choices

Well looks like nothing changes more lies in lawyer letter saying i threatened to go to her house and shes seeking an extention to avo which ended in october ...they have applied for section 32 whatever that is court ordered eviction im assuming ...when it all goes down ill be gone for good i guess ...dont want to but i have nothing left to give...so unkind and unfair what is legally being done....i brought it on myself i guess...thanks for caring everyone...should be all said and done before xmas ....this place doesnt need people like me obviously...so sad...the love for my boys is killing me ...the irony

In response to: Re: no choices

AppleblossomSenior Contributor29 Nov 2016, 6:43 pm AEDT

Re: no choices

Boys need dads who love them .. no argument.

Pity about lawyers but they are lead by the minds that feed them.

We actually cant control whether others think about us or not.

Take care

Find a way to get a life away from the materialism of your sons' mother & her family. We actually do need more people in the world like that.

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