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Living with Loneliness

Living with Loneliness

Feelings of loneliness occur when there is a mismatch between the amount of meaningful social connection we want and the amount we have. So while loneliness can be caused by isolation, it can also be felt when surrounded by people, and in friendships, family and intimate relationships. It is a personal feeling of social isolation

Loneliness can be really hard to manage and studies have shown it can lead to poorer physical and mental health. Physically, loneliness can cause low energy, poorer sleep, headaches, worse experience of physical pain and addiction. Mental health wise, it can cause anxiety, depression, poorer self esteem and thoughts of suicide. Often this can even lead to further isolation and feelings of loneliness for each person.

In Australia, 1 in 3 people report feeling lonely and socially isolated. This means that there is a chance many of us here on the forums experience loneliness, especially given that many of us have or care for those with lived experience of complex mental health concerns. It’s important for us to share that experience and find connection and support.

Questions for the community:

  1. What does loneliness look like for you?
  2. How does loneliness feel and how does it impact your wellbeing?
  3. Are the periods of the day or year when loneliness is harder to manage?
  4. What have you done to manage loneliness, do you have tips for others?

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We recognise that loneliness is experienced differently for everyone and we welcome all stories this space. Please remember to be safe and respectful of eachother, you can find the guidelines here. If you experience any distress whilst reading along with this discussion, please reach out to Lifeline 13 11 14 or the SANE Help Centre to speak to a counsellor.

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In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

.

Slept last night till 2.30am and couldn't go back to sleep.

Been writing things down to show my psychologist whenever I have her next and going to ask about the feeIngs of loneliness and if there's anything camd do to lessons the feelings.

I went to Diamond Art this morning with my support worker and someone I knew came the morning and my anxiety flared up, she's a lovely person but I kept saying to myself please don't come over and of course she did, she asked how I was and my head was blank, I just said not doing to good and then that was it, I just wanted to be swallowed up. I3was trying to think of things to say but nothing I felt so embarrassed as I've known her for a while through church that I Don't go to that one anymore and I needed to take some anxiety meds to try and calm down cause I always feel stupid when I see everyone else talking and I'm just sitting there like a zombie.

I have never felt that you don't care about us @Appleblossom sometimes we just don't feel to good in minds, but you always help and think of things that may help.

I'm similar @Oaktree when my older 3 kids left and I left ex, I did not expect to feel lonely and found out I always had it but the kids kept me so busy didn't relize it was there and then got told it's Empty Nest Syndrome which I had heard of it before but didn't understand it then and that's when I found out about our Sane forums while I was in hospital.

I know a bit of how you feel @Doldip15 my childhood growing up triggers me as well specially if it's my youngest brother even now. I am so sorry your struggle with psychical health as well. I'm so glad that being in the garden makes you feel safe and at peace, we all need something like that.

Please whenever you don't feel safe or just want to chat come on this forum or any others you see we all understand what it's like and it really does help us, where like a family and friends on here have some good suggestions to try that we would not think about, but our best thing is that we care no matter what the situation is and will help as much as we can.

I have been where you are @Doog everything just feels to much and no one understands except on here we do. We have some great Community guides and Peer Support Workers so please reach out as they are amazing

Thank you @tonys @cloudcore @Glisten

@PeppyPatti @Bill16 @Meowmy @Snowie @Jynx @Former-Member @Tilz @Former-Member @Lila3 @Jacques @PizzaMondo @Shaz51 @TAB @tyme @Healandlove @TideisTurning @Josie72 @Adge

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Hi @saturnzoon

You did better than me today. I was supposed to go to art group this morning but I talked myself out of it because a bunch of us go and we sit around a table together but we don’t talk to each other. I just thought you know what, I can’t be bothered with that today! Don’t see the point really

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

@Oaktree @saturnzoon @PeppyPatti @tyme hello everyone think loneliness can be taking up our personal loads alone in silence and fight through tears and pains.

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

@PeppyPatti I'm not sure I fully understand what you're saying but I want to. Can you please tell me a bit more,

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

hello and hugs @Lila3 , @PeppyPatti , @Meowmy , @Oaktree , @Glisten , @Appleblossom , @Former-Member , @Jynx , @tyme ❤️

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Oh @Oaktree

Yes. My youngest ended up - weirdly getting a lot more than my oldest son.

I wasn't the best Mum, I made mistakes. Their father and I were very Immature and he- their father psychically destroyed me. But that's the past and I've dealt with that. On my sons for many many years I asked them to forgive me but after the original grief and communication it turned itself around to blaming me for their Fathers issues.

On my youngest son, he was so so ill. My parents continual interference in our relationships drove huge problems in our relationships. I felt ripped apart.

And my sons suffered.

When

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Always thinking of you Apple.

@Appleblossom

@tonys @cloudcore @Glisten

@PeppyPatti @Bill16 @Meowmy @Snowie @Jynx @PinkFlamingo @Tilz @SmilingGecko @Lila3 @Jacques @PizzaMondo @Shaz51 @TAB @tyme @Healandlove @TideisTurning @Josie72 @Adge

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Oh I apologise @Lila3 I meant to get back to that message.

My ex husband is diagnosed chronic paranoid schizophrenia. Many years ago can't remember I was scouting around trying to find support and found Sane forums.

Since then, we broke up after and I divorced online but I noticed that he was changing too. I ended up dating someone else and I was visiting my ex husband every day because I was worried.

@tonys @cloudcore @Glisten

@Bill16 @Meowmy @Snowie @Jynx @PinkFlamingo @Tilz @SmilingGecko @Lila3 @Jacques @PizzaMondo @Shaz51 @TAB @tyme @Healandlove @TideisTurning @Josie72 @Adge

But we ended up becoming besties - I would so love for him to meet someone just to quell a loneliness he has but ........where does people with mental health meet others who are vulnerable ??

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In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Dear @Glisten

Thank you @tonys @cloudcore @Glisten

@PeppyPatti @Bill16 @Meowmy @Snowie @Jynx @PinkFlamingo @Tilz @SmilingGecko @Lila3 @Jacques @PizzaMondo @Shaz51 @TAB @tyme @Healandlove @TideisTurning @Josie72 @Adge

Yeah I so so loved University as mature aged student.

I just don't see any of them anymore though via choise.

 my sons live their own lives. But at least my oldest calls me. My youngest son - it's been 3 years since iv spoken to him. What did I do wrong ??

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

I am trying to learn my way around how to post etc

Loneliness for me has been quite a sad, miserable life, you wonder how or why you are like this. I know with me I have felt this anguish since a young teenager and it is still with me this day and I am now 65. The pain and hurt of having no friends is heart breaking to me. When my parents moved and I went into a new school half way through third year was the worst experience ever. Not knowing anyone and not getting into a group of friends. Not having one friend where you can go out with or have fun with. My life is just filled with depression, anxiety, sadness and not having human contacts as what you would call friends. Had my first child at 17 and even my own second cousin abandoned me. I had to get married and I was abused. I left the marriage at my parents disgust. The ex was having affairs etc and I found out by a telegram being sent saying his work being terminated due to he was not there, he was off down the beach having fun. I packed up that day and moved into a relatives house, my parents came around quite angry as to the reasoning of it all. OK ! so remarried and have four children in their 40's and nine grand kids and yes I am so lonely in life I stay in bed all day and have not been out of the house since Xmas. My son the addict and estranged from us, we did everything for him over his troubled years. My daughter who just lost her way in her mid 40's living with us. Another daughter and family lived with us on two occasions while they built houses. Youngest has some empathy. I have some grand kids in their 20's and have not seen one since they were in a pusher. So why don't I have friends so I can have some fun times with. The pain of loneliness comes in so many ways inside of you. And funnily enough my hubby is a loner and says he does not need other people in his life. He said he is quite happy to sit on a rock on a beach and stare at the waves. Are there any groups for lonely people. Sometimes I think it is too late, have been through breast cancer, half my thyroid removed due to suspicious nodes, suffer chronic fatigue. My parents are gone, all my older Aunts and Uncles there is no family left. What I have written are just the basics of what could have been a book in the making. I think loneliness causes depression and sadness and a wasted life.

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