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Living with Loneliness

Living with Loneliness

Feelings of loneliness occur when there is a mismatch between the amount of meaningful social connection we want and the amount we have. So while loneliness can be caused by isolation, it can also be felt when surrounded by people, and in friendships, family and intimate relationships. It is a personal feeling of social isolation

Loneliness can be really hard to manage and studies have shown it can lead to poorer physical and mental health. Physically, loneliness can cause low energy, poorer sleep, headaches, worse experience of physical pain and addiction. Mental health wise, it can cause anxiety, depression, poorer self esteem and thoughts of suicide. Often this can even lead to further isolation and feelings of loneliness for each person.

In Australia, 1 in 3 people report feeling lonely and socially isolated. This means that there is a chance many of us here on the forums experience loneliness, especially given that many of us have or care for those with lived experience of complex mental health concerns. It’s important for us to share that experience and find connection and support.

Questions for the community:

  1. What does loneliness look like for you?
  2. How does loneliness feel and how does it impact your wellbeing?
  3. Are the periods of the day or year when loneliness is harder to manage?
  4. What have you done to manage loneliness, do you have tips for others?

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We recognise that loneliness is experienced differently for everyone and we welcome all stories this space. Please remember to be safe and respectful of eachother, you can find the guidelines here. If you experience any distress whilst reading along with this discussion, please reach out to Lifeline 13 11 14 or the SANE Help Centre to speak to a counsellor.

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In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Hey @Meowmy @Former-Member @PeppyPatti @Lila3 @Former-Member ,

"I just heard this saying in an audible I'm listening to the audible spoke that loneliness happens because you don't have people around you to understand you. "

I'm still digesting this one. I read it and I've been chewing on it since.

I'm thinking, if loneliness happens because people don't have people around to understand them, does emptiness mean the person doesn't understand themselves?

I don't know.

I'll keep thinking.

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Hello @Former-Member Thankyou for your letter. These forums really are like trains passing in the night. The motion of endless days of routine lulls us into fitful slumber, we miss a post here and there

and unbeknown to passers by, we slip silently into loneliness. I'm just glad that a flaw in the railway track

jolted me from my daydream. I would never have known the depth of your waters.

The lady in the "bubble". Well now I do know . . . I am on your side of the glass whenever loneliness

clouds gather. We will always miss messages, the intent of the message, and the true nature of the

hands that sometimes, trembled, that message. After all, we are human, as flawed as a desert rail we ride. Common, good will and determination to overcome isolation, will always

overcome the flaws we inherit in this life, as long as we never surrender the eternal search for each other..

Your honesty and bravery is commendable. I wish you peace and happiness.. tonys.

Ive never been on this forum before so hello and kind thoughts..

@cloudcore @PeppyPatti @Lila3 @tyme and all who draw water here,

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Agree 🌸

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

@tyme hey tyme, may be I experience loneliness as shame , being restricted by parents and then blamed for being never married. Also being fearful. As always feel lonely alone. No one to support or back up. And being unhappy,confused, hopeless, unfulfilled.,unloved. May be loneliness a lot to do with our relationships to our significant others and our relationship with ourselves.

A journey to discover find our better selves that lead us out of loneliness

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

I feel there is a misconception about marriage ending the feeling of loneliness. Yet I know many people who are married, yet have never felt so lonely...

@Meowmy

Don't let the guilt get to you. 🙂 I'm in the same boat. I'm not married, but happily not married.

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Yes @tyme 🙂🌺

it sets up a framework of categorising many things against a hard to pin down set of parameters, if generalising is the primary objective, from what I can understand 🙂

looking forward to reading your thoughts when ready 💜🌺🙂

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Hey there @tonys 🌺🙂

thanks for joining in here - and thank you for such deep and free flowing limbic thoughts which never fail to inspire new spaces in my brain 🌺🙂🫂

Common good will and determination, indeed 🙂🙌🏻🌺

Thank you kindly for joining me on this side of the glass, your presence is most appreciated ☺️🌺

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

@Former-Member , lovely friend, I didn't realise you have an immunodisease. I can understand the challenges this brings and how interacting and socialising with others would be dangerous. I want to tell you that your strength, your kindness and your desire to help others inspire me. I hope that through your studies and once you can officially counsel others (on certification), that this brings you joy and a sense of belonging. Also that you don't feel lonely.

@tyme, @PizzaMondo @PeppyPatti, @Shaz51 @TideisTurning is turning for me loneliness is not having someone that understands my pain or my joy. Because of my husband's complex-PTSD and his emotional withdrawal when things are bad, I am often left dealing with the heartache and the inability to talk about things. He becomes overwhelmed and he hides. These moments are so lonely and at times I feel like a single mum. These are the moments of most loneliness for me. Slowly and very slowly therapy is helping us both and I can manage to discuss feelings for 10min or so before it becomes too much for him.

I also wanted to recommend a reading app called Fable, for those of us that enjoy to read. This app has a lovely community of readers from all over the world who post reviews, comments on the books and even join book clubs within the app. It is all very civil and you can have a list of books you want to read and have read. Other members can follow you based on your reading list. The app is free and it has moderators who post articles and you can comment on them. It has been a nice distraction for me whilst taking to other people about books.

Perhaps it may be useful for our lovely SANE members.

Seding you all virtual hugs and an image of all of us sitting and drinking tea or coffee, chatting and laughing at jokes. I use imaginary to help when I'm feeling lonely or sad.

Hugs and a good night to you all🥰

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

hey there @Meowmy 🌺🙂

I hope not to intrude, however I wanted to gently say your post struck a chord..our relationships with others and ourselves, and discovering our better selves..

I was married, and by default believed I shouldn’t feel lonely - however the entire time I was married, I was lonely (a smidge under 17 years). When I separated, I didn’t quite know how to feel as my own person, I had forgone myself for the sake of someone else’s happiness for nearly 2 decades. I found that I was incredibly lonely, but only because I had the space to realise I had lost myself -was separated from myself - and needed to rediscover who I was as an individual. I realised a lot of my loneliness was due to me measuring who I thought I was supposed to be instead of being who I am 🙂💜

So, your words couldn’t be more true 🌺🙂🫂

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Thank you kindly @Healandlove 💜🙂🌺🫂

I very much appreciate your kind words 🙂🌺

I hope I can finish studying, and help people ease the discord unique to challenges that come with isolation of the body and mind, that would be a very humbling and rewarding thing indeed 🙂🌺

Reading your experience of loneliness speaks volumes of your patience and compassion 💜🌺🙂

it’s really heartening to know that things are slowly improving, despite how hard it is - your determination is so inspiring 🙂🤗🌺

And thank you very much for the recommendation for the app - I’m going to see if I can find it in the App Store ☺️🌺


I’m so glad you found it, and it brings you happiness 💜☺️🌺

rest well, and catch you next time 🙂🌺

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