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Living with Loneliness

Living with Loneliness

Feelings of loneliness occur when there is a mismatch between the amount of meaningful social connection we want and the amount we have. So while loneliness can be caused by isolation, it can also be felt when surrounded by people, and in friendships, family and intimate relationships. It is a personal feeling of social isolation

Loneliness can be really hard to manage and studies have shown it can lead to poorer physical and mental health. Physically, loneliness can cause low energy, poorer sleep, headaches, worse experience of physical pain and addiction. Mental health wise, it can cause anxiety, depression, poorer self esteem and thoughts of suicide. Often this can even lead to further isolation and feelings of loneliness for each person.

In Australia, 1 in 3 people report feeling lonely and socially isolated. This means that there is a chance many of us here on the forums experience loneliness, especially given that many of us have or care for those with lived experience of complex mental health concerns. It’s important for us to share that experience and find connection and support.

Questions for the community:

  1. What does loneliness look like for you?
  2. How does loneliness feel and how does it impact your wellbeing?
  3. Are the periods of the day or year when loneliness is harder to manage?
  4. What have you done to manage loneliness, do you have tips for others?

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We recognise that loneliness is experienced differently for everyone and we welcome all stories this space. Please remember to be safe and respectful of eachother, you can find the guidelines here. If you experience any distress whilst reading along with this discussion, please reach out to Lifeline 13 11 14 or the SANE Help Centre to speak to a counsellor.

834 replies

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In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Sweetheart @Meowmy

I was Looking at the front of Sane Forums on the website and it writes of support and connection.

Do you feel that here ?

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

So Like what you write. I remember many years ago at a terrible time of my life I dreamt of trains 🚂 but they were settling myself down.

Your message is so creative.

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Wow @Healandlove , @PeppyPatti , @Former-Member , @tyme , @Meowmy , @tonys

Reading your posts from yesterday, with so much going on here daily and still living with loneliness here

Sending you lots of understanding hugs @Healandlove , soo similar, I keep everything to myself

@PizzaMondo

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

I'm not married, but I cling onto my therapist iv seen for 20 years. I think if I didn't have her, I see her once a month- um - I can imagine I would feel more lonely. Often she makes me a cup of tea and we just talk about the weather but the connection is what I crave.

However my partner does the best he can. For instance, he is my carer and I don't need to drive anymore. This is unspoken and I don't need to cook anymore. Another unspoken. He takes me to all appointments

@PinkFlamingo , @tyme , @Meowmy , @tonys

@Shaz51 @cloudcore @tyme @PizzaMondo

@Healandlove @TAB @Adge

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

@Former-Member

Beaut message. I'm trying to find the app.

Can you tell ?

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

I struggle with Loneliness a lot most of the time doesn't matter where I am, even if I go out in groups I feel different like the odd one out cause my communication skills are zero especially at home.

The hard part is families and others don't get it, they just think where out to get attention and I always get told how can you be lonely when your out with others around you.

When all my kids were younger and at home was not as bad, but at work was a really bad trigger for me I just never seemed to fit in, always left out and get remarks like, why don't you ever smile, why don't you talk, why work here and similar stuff like that.

I was never able to make friends, to shy, couldn't make conversations so people just kept away and avoided me.

Then as the kids didn't need me as much I had my breakdown at work after someone going off at me for not joining in, felt so embarrassed had a panic attack ended inhospitable for a while.

The loneliness affects us all in different ways and when I split from ex and I had my kids which were a lot older but when my eldest 3 left,my daughter moved to Newcastle my eldest moved down south and then my other older son moved in with his girlfriend that's when it hit me hard and always felt like there was something missing. It was like an emptiness, a numbness, thinking I needed someone else and got diagnosed with agraphobia, I locked myself away, my kids were everything to me my life and never thought about what it would be like with them not living with me.

Like most of you, Birthdays, Christmas and seeing families together and gatherings are really hard where you just want to zone out.

Sane forums are like a family to me we have a lot in common and love how we can help each other and allwaus makes me feel a bit better just that knowing we are not alone.

I still get the loneliness but at least I know can come on here and see how everyone is going.

I know with my BPD and anxiety the loneliness will never go away, but at least I have learnt some distractions to help

@Shaz51 @cloudcore @PeppyPatti @Former-Member @Healandlove @tyme @PizzaMondo @TideisTurning @Josie72

@Jacques @Snowie @Appleblossom @Oaktree @Adge @tonys @Meowmy @TAB @tonys

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Hi @saturnzoon 🙂

My takeaway from your post response was that - just like you, I too can often feel lonely even when with others - but having the ability to form community, find other supports, people who understand you, me, us, especially through a space like the SANE forums can make us feel a lot less lonely!

I feel it's due to the level we can relate with others and their lived experiences, as well as a nice reminder that we are literally not alone in feeling the way we feel most days...

So, thanks for sharing!

Warmest,
PizzaMondo 🙂

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

@saturnzoon I agree with so much that you have written and can relate to so much of it.

I struggle with loneliness too, but I think a lot of it is my own doing. I have such a hard time talking to others and relating to others too.

I don't have any real 'friends' and the only people I really talk to are my family or friends of my husbands. If we go out with people it is always my husbands friends. Even then I can't relate to what they are saying or have a conversation with them.

Sane forums are like family to me too. I can talk to anyone on here, but in real life I am the exact opposite.

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

DeeDear @saturnzoon

Thankyou for writing. I felt all words.

im not ignoring your story - just a step out of the box but remember you wrote people thought you were doing for attention ? Well, for about 25 years, my ex husband's besties thought he was pretending he had Schizophrenia and he was making it up to get the pension so he didn't have to work until I turned up.

 

It slightly triggered me reading your words, a little hurt remembering all that.

People can be so 2 dimensional. And they run around and tell themselves

" I am good. I am good." But they don't mind not understanding someone who doesn't match to their

" way of thinking,'

You are special.

You are relevant.

You can get through today.

Just like all of us here.

@PinkFlamingo , @Meowmy ,

@Snowie @PizzaMondo @saturnzoon

@Glisten

@Shaz51 @cloudcore @Bill16 @TAB @Healandlove @tyme @PizzaMondo @TideisTurning @Josie72

@Jacques @Snowie @Appleblossom @Oaktree @Adge @tonys @Meowmy

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Hello @PeppyPatti I am classified as a paranoid schizophrenic ,I am hoping to get back on the tools soon

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