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Living with Loneliness

Living with Loneliness

Feelings of loneliness occur when there is a mismatch between the amount of meaningful social connection we want and the amount we have. So while loneliness can be caused by isolation, it can also be felt when surrounded by people, and in friendships, family and intimate relationships. It is a personal feeling of social isolation

Loneliness can be really hard to manage and studies have shown it can lead to poorer physical and mental health. Physically, loneliness can cause low energy, poorer sleep, headaches, worse experience of physical pain and addiction. Mental health wise, it can cause anxiety, depression, poorer self esteem and thoughts of suicide. Often this can even lead to further isolation and feelings of loneliness for each person.

In Australia, 1 in 3 people report feeling lonely and socially isolated. This means that there is a chance many of us here on the forums experience loneliness, especially given that many of us have or care for those with lived experience of complex mental health concerns. It’s important for us to share that experience and find connection and support.

Questions for the community:

  1. What does loneliness look like for you?
  2. How does loneliness feel and how does it impact your wellbeing?
  3. Are the periods of the day or year when loneliness is harder to manage?
  4. What have you done to manage loneliness, do you have tips for others?

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We recognise that loneliness is experienced differently for everyone and we welcome all stories this space. Please remember to be safe and respectful of eachother, you can find the guidelines here. If you experience any distress whilst reading along with this discussion, please reach out to Lifeline 13 11 14 or the SANE Help Centre to speak to a counsellor.

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In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Oh thanks @tyme, what a lovely message!! I've been hit with a bit of the loneliness/emptiness this afternoon/evening, but am doing what I can to distract myself until it passes 🙂 How are you?

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Your dinosaur profile pic is so awesome! I've been missing it, so when i saw you online, I perked up 🙂 @puzzlingdino

I've kept myself busy today. I visited an old neighbour, had lunch and afternoon tea out, then came back to chill on the forums 🙂

I love hanging out on the forums. I find it so calming.

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

@tyme

Aww thank you 😊 It's nice seeing you (and your great contributions) around the forums too!

Sounds like a nice way to spend the day! And I'm glad to hear you get so much out of the forums. I haven't been here long, but it seems like a lovely community here 🙂

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

There's someone online 24/7 - that's the beauty of it @puzzlingdino . At least I know I'm not talking to a robot. LOL.

I look forward to seeing you around on the forums more.

What are you doing tomorrow?

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

I agree completely Cloudcore,

this subject is not easy to divulge. One can be surrounded by immediate family & feel very alone, it’s hard for others to understand what’s going on inside, this makes the loneliness worse !

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Very true @Martin1 -

When I used to live with lots of people, I felt so alone. It was like there was this constant 'noise' in my head. I couldn't connect with others. Others didn't understand me. I didn't understand others. I barely understood myself!

Years later, I found myself in a much better place. I bought a property and moved to live alone. I thought I'd get scared or would feel alone, but no way! I love it! I don't feel alone at all.

In fact, I spend my mornings with people so that I really need time to myself in the evenings.

I've now learnt that loneliness is a state of mind. You can be with people an feel lonely, and you can be alone but not feel lonely.

Hope this makes sense!

Also @Martin1 , welcome to the forums!

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Thank you Tyme,

ii feel like I need some guidance moving forward, could you please advise the best platform for me, I’m assuming these chats are public ?

Regards

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Congrats on being able to work and study! So glad you are able to work on a research thesis on BPD! That is an even greater achievement! Kudos to you!

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

@Jenn1 - Thank you soooooo much for posting!

I really really really truly deep down appreciated your post so much. I used to live in a state of loneliness until I learnt that there were ways out of it.

I used to think I was a wacky weirdo that no one wanted to hang around with.

Today? I am still a wacky weirdo. But the difference is, I'm a happy wacky weirdo. I love thinking outside the box. I love being way out there. I love not being the 'norm' (whatever that is).

I live alone, but I don't find myself lonely. If anything, I love spending time alone because I need it!

I am so happy to hear that you have someone to chat with and that you push yourself to get out to help your mental health. I think that's where the hard work is. I used to 'give in' to my loneliness so that it consumed me.

As I said, now, I love being alone because I actually no longer feel lonely. I get out during the day, then come home in the evenings for some 'me' time.

Once again, thank you for sharing what loneliness means to you, and how you've manage to 'tackle' some of that loneliness.

Thank you thank you thank you!

tyme

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