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Living with Loneliness

Living with Loneliness

Feelings of loneliness occur when there is a mismatch between the amount of meaningful social connection we want and the amount we have. So while loneliness can be caused by isolation, it can also be felt when surrounded by people, and in friendships, family and intimate relationships. It is a personal feeling of social isolation

Loneliness can be really hard to manage and studies have shown it can lead to poorer physical and mental health. Physically, loneliness can cause low energy, poorer sleep, headaches, worse experience of physical pain and addiction. Mental health wise, it can cause anxiety, depression, poorer self esteem and thoughts of suicide. Often this can even lead to further isolation and feelings of loneliness for each person.

In Australia, 1 in 3 people report feeling lonely and socially isolated. This means that there is a chance many of us here on the forums experience loneliness, especially given that many of us have or care for those with lived experience of complex mental health concerns. It’s important for us to share that experience and find connection and support.

Questions for the community:

  1. What does loneliness look like for you?
  2. How does loneliness feel and how does it impact your wellbeing?
  3. Are the periods of the day or year when loneliness is harder to manage?
  4. What have you done to manage loneliness, do you have tips for others?

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We recognise that loneliness is experienced differently for everyone and we welcome all stories this space. Please remember to be safe and respectful of eachother, you can find the guidelines here. If you experience any distress whilst reading along with this discussion, please reach out to Lifeline 13 11 14 or the SANE Help Centre to speak to a counsellor.

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In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Many thanks for creating this thread. I think loneliness is something that I have dealt with for a pretty long time. For the better part of eight years I have lived on my own (I would say since at least 2014). I do have some very great friends however, my best friend is unfortunately overseas right now though -- but I do have my carer Caitlin who comes to check on me once a week. My best friend is in Sweden for another two months; I haven't seen my best friend at all this year due to her holidaying over in Sweden.

There is good news in all of this though, and the good news is that I think I am now ready to have someone move in with me to live with me. For a while I have felt as though while I am currently a bit lonely there is definitely something I can do to change this for myself. And the way I will go about changing it is by finding a suitable room mate.

While I spend a lot of time on my own I do also have plenty of things to do to pass the time. I am writing a novel, and doing a great deal of research for that novel. The research takes up a huge amount of time -- entire days sometimes. I am looking forward to spending more time on these forums as well so that I can connect with others and support others who may be feeling a bit more lonely.

Warm wishes,

Jake

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Hi Evie!

Which particular aspects of your loneliness feel out of your control?

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Hi. I'm lonely even though I have something to do every day. People I interact with. I shouldn't be lonely. I'm told I'm needy. I'm with NDIS. Am getting psychologist weekly. Will work on this. Thanks for your post. @pjc1965

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Evie. Are you on NDIS? I have psychology sessions thru NDIS.

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

I've had flatmates. The best were people I new. @PositivePossum6

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Hey There,

I get lonely too. There's no " shouldn't " when it comes to feelings, they just are. Make spacd for those lonely feelings. Personally I find going to my local library helps with feeling isolated. There's books to keep me company & sometimes you get chatting to a librarian or someone else who seems on their own. Also, there's activities for social events on the notice board at my library. Best of all, it's FREE!

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

1. I guess the best way I could describe loneliness for me would be a sense of disconnection from others.

2. Loneliness feels like disconnection, sadness, and emptiness, but it also triggers a sense of hopelessness for the future, causes other issues to feel way more overwhelming, and brings about feelings of distress where I am frantically trying to find something to fill the void. It has a negative effect on my mental wellbeing, and I can also feel the physical effects like impact on my sleep.

3. In general, I feel most lonely in the night time. Across the year, my loneliness tends to show up more at times when the opportunities I usually rely on for interaction/connection aren’t happening for whatever reason, like when the people I live with are away, when my hobbies aren’t running, or when I go too long without seeing my psychologist.

4. Mostly I end up just trying to deal with the loneliness as it happens by doing things like posting on social media, engaging with familiar/comforting content, and sharing my thoughts with my journal, though the sense of connection these bring isn’t as much or as meaningful as I necessarily need or want. One thing I suppose I do to manage the loneliness proactively is to try and minimise the length of time between my psychologist appointments.

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Thank you for sharing @puzzlingdino . You have some very important points there 🙂

I used to feel lonely in the evenings. Not anymore because I've found meaningful activities to engage in in the evenings.

I felt more lonely when I used to live with people. Now that I live on my own, I don't feel lonely at all!

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Hi @puzzlingdino ,

How are you going today? Great to see you online 🙂 Missing you.

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