Children not communicating

Hi @Ffm48

I have just picked up your thread this afternoon. What a difficult and emotive journey you have been on with this trip, to say nothing of the history behind it all .....

I don't have lived experience with dv, but I did have in-laws being highly manipulative and emotionally avisive behind my husband's back for quite some years, and it took time and hard work for the truth to eventually surface. I am on a similar trek now with an mi, undiagnosed and untreated, having raised itself in my husband, with him in the depths of denial .....

What I can do is encourage you to persevere . Remain mindful always that truth and integrity have a life force of their own, and they won't remain hidden. Far better to be working towards raising the truth, than to be spending time and energy working hard to disguise it, tarnish it, and try to keep it from surfacing ..... which you may now be able to see is your ex's lot in life ....

Keep stepping out in truth and integrity. You will never have the burden of trying to cover lies, and keep all the lies aligned to appear as a truth ... and when it all comes out in the wash, you will be standing squeaky clean, and those who lied will be left wearing their tarnish .... the history of truth is not something that can be adjusted once it has surfaced.

Meantime, keep up the self-nurturing to promote your own healing and overcome those past experiences. Weave rainbows into your future.

Hugs from me too ....

🌷💜

Thank you for your words of support, @utopia. I was on my way home 5 and 6 October. It was a sad trip back. Saw my daughter for a total of about eight hours; no idea whether she will continue communicating with me. Had a total of two hours quality time with my grandchildren. Half a year's notice wasn't enough to plan for more time.

On the upside communication has been kick-started. My sister-in-law was informed herself on domestic violence and was very much more empathetic on my second visit. There may be a trickle down effect. Just as there may be a trickle down effect from the incident with my X. Is it going to be enough? My friend/counsellor thinks, it will be enough to continue the conversation with, if nurtured. Can I nurture the tender reed? I do not know.

It was a sad trip home. There were times I was numb, then again there were times I was so glad the lights were down and most people asleep on the plane - tears flowed for hours. What do I feel now? - a roller coaster describes it well, but most of all I'm totally exhausted.