Children not communicating

This morning I felt about as low as you can without crossing the line into suicidal lane. I had forgotten what it's like when you don't sleep. There was a time when I imagine what it would be like to sleep in greater than 20 min increments. How I managed to function is beyond me. When I first slept a whole uninterrupted night - wow, what an experience that was, but last night was bad and this morning I couldn't think straight.

Good thing being a nanna is you can have nanna naps and I did and it did make a world of difference. This arvo my son phoned me and the hostility in his voice was gone and tomorrow I shall see my grandkids. Only downside is that my ex will be there as well, but then as a true abuser he is the perfect gentleman in public.

Things may turn out well after all.

Relegated to be just another man ... hmm, I never thought of it that way, but I like it. I still have problems getting within touching distance to any male which is miles better than going into a veritable panic attack each time as I did only a short while ago, but that's another story. No @utopia, we're not meeting in a a public public place. It's my grandson's birthday party and there will be quite a few other people there as well. My ex will be the perfect gentleman. No one will understand why we are divorced and why we would get divorced more than 45 years into marriage. What he will try to do is to make insinuations only I can understand. Thing is in the meantime I know how he works; so I feel quite safe.

I'm looking forward to this arvo.

Back from my grandson's birthday. The party with a lot of children and adults was not the place or time for bonding; I didn't expect that.

I'll start with what I perceived as uncomfortable, so I can finish with the positives.

My first absolute shock came when I walked up to the house and X blocked my way. He had his arms outstretched as if to give a big hug. I knew he was going to be there, but I was not going to submit to his shenanigans. I stepped out onto the road and passed him. A few expletives followed. I turned around and said I had come for our grandson's birthday and not for his benefit. He followed me saying we ought to have a one on one discussion which I refused saying we had had all the talk that could be done. The third or fourth time I said "no, not under any circumstances"; the objection being the one on one, of course. This continued until I was at the front door.

Inside there were two tables; one for the adults, one for the children. After saying hello to everyone I sat down in between to occupied chairs. Once I had my cup filled he came up to the person next to me saying he wanted to talk to me if she would vacate the seat for him. He then proceeded to whisper again, we need to meet one on one again and again. This time I simply said once no, everything has been said, there is nothing more, turned my back on him and started a conversation with my neighbour. Before I had finished my cup of coffee X had left.

With the exception of the first few moments when I felt panic rise, I felt confident and that I was in control of myself and of the situation ... oh what a feeling In the meantime I am wondering whether I ought to have been more gracious? I don't know - a bit unsure of myself.

Daughter-in-law and her mother ignored me completely until I said bye addressing them by name.

There were some lovely and lively conversations with the rest of the family.

The children were busy playing with all the other children, I wasn't going to butt in. It was nice watching them interact though.

Finally, as I was leaving son and I had a short chat with a promise of talking again soon. Then there was a real, sincere hug.

When you’re down in the hole, it’s hard to believe things can change, even if you’ve experienced it before. I think we all need reminding of that sometimes,

Today was a good day.

Hi @Ffm48,

ive been following your thread and just want to say I think you did wonderfully well under really difficult circumstances. I think you sounded brave, assertive, calm and in control. In my opinion that's the best you could have done under those circumstances. I think you did the right thing. It warmed by heart and gives credence to the concepts of hope and faith that relationships can be repaired. I'm so glad that you've been able to make the first steps in repairing your family relationships. Wishing you the best of luck with this. It's really good news💜😊💐

Thanks @Former-Member. It would have been so much more difficult and daunting without the support of this forum