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Something’s not right

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There's been a lot going on in in my head this week. I don't know what I want anymore, if anything. I feel guilty being on the forums, i think because while I don't feel like I'm fixable I still want connections and support. But maybe that's selfish of me. And as it would appear, is not the purpose of the forums. I know I can look too far into things, paranoia/poopy brain issues do that. But I've been feeling like i shouldn't be here on the forums anymore. And i can't tell if it's in my head or not. I know I break a lot of guidelines here and i guess that just goes hand in hand with the things i need to talk about. Which makes it difficult.

I feel like I'm at a point where there's not a lot i can do to help or change things. I don't mean to get on here and post useless things like this. But i guess it's a coping method. Like journaling but with validation.

very fu*king depressed but I don't feel hopeful of change. I don't have a desire to do anything to improve my current situation. I dont want to call helplines or anything. I can't. It's hard enough talking to my psychologist at times. It's at a point where every option feels ultimately pointless. And all of that makes me think I shouldn't be on the forums. Like im doing something wrong. And maybe i am. Maybe it's not fair for someone who feels this hopeless to get on here and wallow when there's people on here who want to climb out of the darkness. Maybe I'm a hinderance.

Im processing a lot atm. Mainly the ugliness of the other night with one of the worst conversations I've had with my ex. Feel like little by little my spirit has been getting broken this year. I logically know a lot of what my ex said is bullshit--or at least one sided. But I guess maybe, it wasn't all bullshit. It wasn't nice, fair, or reasonable, but true...

I haven't ever been very capable at life. Big or small things. I have spent a lot of time struggling with my mental health. It's gotten in the way of living a normal life.

With work, I can fall back on my small business--but it's not a steady income as it's dependent on my level of motivation. It has the potential to grow and become more than it is, but I'm not capable of doing that right now. My inability to bring in big bucks was apprently on the list of reasons why my ex left me. One of my fears realised.

Not being proactive enough regarding household chores--yes I'm terrible at it. There's no good excuse, I'm lazy. I find it a task to do anything really. If i can muster up some motivation I want to put that into time with my kid or getting work done. Another fear realised.

And of course the big one, sex. I wish it was simple for me, but it's not. I feel like i tried explaining things as best I could, and we hd many many uncomfortable talks about it all. Horrible talks. Soul crushing talks. Talks that made me feel inadequate. Talks that make me think I'm only worthy if i make a decent wage and can perform on command.

These are all things that i hate about myself and they're where I'm vulnerable. Having not one of these things but all of them thrown at me has been rough. I know though, I know it was all warranted. Wasn't fun to hear but it is truthful. Doesn't address any of the flaws my ex has or the reasons why I am the way I am, but I guess what it boils down to is that didn't matter to her.

Ive been working on my communication over these past few years, and I have changed a lot. Anger doesn't control me--at least not all the time. I can have conversations, I can feel anger and not act on it, I can listen. But I'm still me. I'm still depressed. And that's just not going to change. The things that attribute to my shitty mental health aren't things I feel I can overcome. Best case scenario I manage to get by and have more days out of bed than in it. But it's not enough is it? I am not enough. And I never have been. I know that, I've always known that. But hearing those are all the reasons why my ex is gone hurts. But maybe that's justified.

Im really battling it out in my head. I feel worthless. Useless. Unlovable. And not just because of my ex, it's everything in my life. I feel like I'm getting pushed to the edge, and I used to fight it, I used to want to fight it. But i feel emptiness like I've never felt before. It hurts. Alot. I'm screwed up, I know that, but it hurts so much more having it thrown in my face. I'm useless. Broken beyond repair.

I want to take my life. I've been going over it a lot this week. Told myself that today would be the day since I'm on my own tonight. Have gone over how I'd do it and figured out a plan so I'm not lying around here for my son to find me. I have it worked out, I could do it, so what's stopping me? My son. Every time I think about going through with it he pops into my head.

I know I'm not a prize. I know I'm better off alone. I know I'm no good in relationships. But I know my son doesn't need me to be any of those things. And that's all that should matter. My son just needs me to be here. And I tell myself that but then I find ways around it, asking myself what kind of example my life sets for him? What will he become because of me? What if I let him down? What if choosing to survive means i continue to drown and get to a point where my suffering befomes his own? And I think people are quick to dismiss these questions, but they're real. Some kids are better off without their real parents. Some kids become irreparably screwed up thanks to their parents. So I'm left asking myself which choice will inflict the least amount of damage?

I haven't made it out of bed yet. Told myself I'd go to the bottle shop, get something nice, and just see where the night goes. I kind of know where it's going if I follow that path. But maybe that's the real reason I'm still in bed, to keep myself safe. But why? I don't know. I'm afraid of the damage it will cause my son. But I don't know for certain if staying alive is going to cause any less damage in the long run. I think about the things that happened to me and particularly about the abuse my brother and I suffered through from our mother. I think about the person I could be now if it weren't for her. I think about it a lot. And it's a big factor for me to weigh in.

I don't expect anyone to have answers or a response here. But I'm sad, alone, just need to be heard I guess.

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I forgot to say @saltandpepper as a way to protect yourself in the future, and to keep a safety net for yourself if you meet someone new that you would be interested in being in a committed relationship with .........

...don't co-habit.

Don't live together. Don't share money.

You will get no guilt trips for having a disability and your lover won't resent you for not being as healthy as they are, and there will be less arguments.

Use shared money to go on holidays and buy presents for each other, but keep your fundamental autonomy.

I think not cohabiting increases the chance that for people like us our relationship will survive.

Lots of people live like this - Good Luck

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Hey @Corny thanks for your thoughtful response

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Hey @BlueBay thanks for the love

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Well, I'm alive. And still a little baked. last night, i drank and smoked until I couldn't move anymore. It still wasnt enough to quieten the thoughts completely. Which concerns me. They were still pushing through, high as a fu*king kite and my brain still finds a way to go there. It's still going there. Every few seconds it's asking me the question.

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Hello @saltandpepper @Clawde is reading and feeling you glad your in my life Thankyou so much 😍

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Thanks @Clawde appreciate it 👍

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Found out this morning that my ex has been going out wjth someone. Ooph. Fun. Fun information to have. Fu*k.

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I hope that you can have some moments of peace this weekend @saltandpepper .

We all struggle to cope with emotional pain, but we have to start somewhere, bit by bit, otherwise we aren't living our own life.

I would suggest go no contact with your ex. And limit social media. The pain is too much, it is called heartbreak for a reason. We aren't supposed to be reminded over and over again of that hurt and why they didn't want us. Corny

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Cheers @Corny yeah if I could have zero contact I'd be all sweet. Not possible since we have a son together. I did think it was odd for her to wait 5 or so months after leaving to start tearing me a new one. Guess it makes sense now, she's seen how shit I am compared to whoever the new person is. She's feeling confident about her choice to leave and she's ready to let me know it. She won and she knows it. Good for her. Good on her.

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Pffffft life be shit this year

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