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Something’s not right

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There's been a lot going on in in my head this week. I don't know what I want anymore, if anything. I feel guilty being on the forums, i think because while I don't feel like I'm fixable I still want connections and support. But maybe that's selfish of me. And as it would appear, is not the purpose of the forums. I know I can look too far into things, paranoia/poopy brain issues do that. But I've been feeling like i shouldn't be here on the forums anymore. And i can't tell if it's in my head or not. I know I break a lot of guidelines here and i guess that just goes hand in hand with the things i need to talk about. Which makes it difficult.

I feel like I'm at a point where there's not a lot i can do to help or change things. I don't mean to get on here and post useless things like this. But i guess it's a coping method. Like journaling but with validation.

very fu*king depressed but I don't feel hopeful of change. I don't have a desire to do anything to improve my current situation. I dont want to call helplines or anything. I can't. It's hard enough talking to my psychologist at times. It's at a point where every option feels ultimately pointless. And all of that makes me think I shouldn't be on the forums. Like im doing something wrong. And maybe i am. Maybe it's not fair for someone who feels this hopeless to get on here and wallow when there's people on here who want to climb out of the darkness. Maybe I'm a hinderance.

Im processing a lot atm. Mainly the ugliness of the other night with one of the worst conversations I've had with my ex. Feel like little by little my spirit has been getting broken this year. I logically know a lot of what my ex said is bullshit--or at least one sided. But I guess maybe, it wasn't all bullshit. It wasn't nice, fair, or reasonable, but true...

I haven't ever been very capable at life. Big or small things. I have spent a lot of time struggling with my mental health. It's gotten in the way of living a normal life.

With work, I can fall back on my small business--but it's not a steady income as it's dependent on my level of motivation. It has the potential to grow and become more than it is, but I'm not capable of doing that right now. My inability to bring in big bucks was apprently on the list of reasons why my ex left me. One of my fears realised.

Not being proactive enough regarding household chores--yes I'm terrible at it. There's no good excuse, I'm lazy. I find it a task to do anything really. If i can muster up some motivation I want to put that into time with my kid or getting work done. Another fear realised.

And of course the big one, sex. I wish it was simple for me, but it's not. I feel like i tried explaining things as best I could, and we hd many many uncomfortable talks about it all. Horrible talks. Soul crushing talks. Talks that made me feel inadequate. Talks that make me think I'm only worthy if i make a decent wage and can perform on command.

These are all things that i hate about myself and they're where I'm vulnerable. Having not one of these things but all of them thrown at me has been rough. I know though, I know it was all warranted. Wasn't fun to hear but it is truthful. Doesn't address any of the flaws my ex has or the reasons why I am the way I am, but I guess what it boils down to is that didn't matter to her.

Ive been working on my communication over these past few years, and I have changed a lot. Anger doesn't control me--at least not all the time. I can have conversations, I can feel anger and not act on it, I can listen. But I'm still me. I'm still depressed. And that's just not going to change. The things that attribute to my shitty mental health aren't things I feel I can overcome. Best case scenario I manage to get by and have more days out of bed than in it. But it's not enough is it? I am not enough. And I never have been. I know that, I've always known that. But hearing those are all the reasons why my ex is gone hurts. But maybe that's justified.

Im really battling it out in my head. I feel worthless. Useless. Unlovable. And not just because of my ex, it's everything in my life. I feel like I'm getting pushed to the edge, and I used to fight it, I used to want to fight it. But i feel emptiness like I've never felt before. It hurts. Alot. I'm screwed up, I know that, but it hurts so much more having it thrown in my face. I'm useless. Broken beyond repair.

I want to take my life. I've been going over it a lot this week. Told myself that today would be the day since I'm on my own tonight. Have gone over how I'd do it and figured out a plan so I'm not lying around here for my son to find me. I have it worked out, I could do it, so what's stopping me? My son. Every time I think about going through with it he pops into my head.

I know I'm not a prize. I know I'm better off alone. I know I'm no good in relationships. But I know my son doesn't need me to be any of those things. And that's all that should matter. My son just needs me to be here. And I tell myself that but then I find ways around it, asking myself what kind of example my life sets for him? What will he become because of me? What if I let him down? What if choosing to survive means i continue to drown and get to a point where my suffering befomes his own? And I think people are quick to dismiss these questions, but they're real. Some kids are better off without their real parents. Some kids become irreparably screwed up thanks to their parents. So I'm left asking myself which choice will inflict the least amount of damage?

I haven't made it out of bed yet. Told myself I'd go to the bottle shop, get something nice, and just see where the night goes. I kind of know where it's going if I follow that path. But maybe that's the real reason I'm still in bed, to keep myself safe. But why? I don't know. I'm afraid of the damage it will cause my son. But I don't know for certain if staying alive is going to cause any less damage in the long run. I think about the things that happened to me and particularly about the abuse my brother and I suffered through from our mother. I think about the person I could be now if it weren't for her. I think about it a lot. And it's a big factor for me to weigh in.

I don't expect anyone to have answers or a response here. But I'm sad, alone, just need to be heard I guess.

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Your Amazing 😍 beautiful so glad your in my life, Thankyou for your honesty in this post @saltandpepper from your Clawde

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Hi @saltandpepper, I'm really concerned about you. I can see that you're struggling to see even a glimmer of hope, and that you're also concerned about going down an unsafe path tonight. I am going to email you to provide a little support and touch base with you about some of the things you've brought up here, ok? I'm glad you decided to post. I hear you, I see you.

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Cheers @Clawde @Jynx 👍

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Hearing and seeing you @saltandpepper

I know how hard it can be to want to continue on and I know how hard it is to have those thoughts in our head. Please reach out for help, you are so worth it.

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@saltandpepper

Hey there. I hesitated to "Support" your post as it did conflicting things in my mind...

However, I did support it in the end, because I Absolutely support the person behind the post.

Take care

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@Snowie @StuF Thank you guys @StuF That kind of melted my heart a bit, thanks for hitting the support button

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Dear @saltandpepper , I hope you don't mind me writing to you.

I have been going though a lot lately and I haven't been able to be there for other people. But I have been aware that you've been going through a hard time too.

I'm not sure what happened with your ex partner, but I was really happy for you when you were self medicating with weed and starting to feel more alive again. And I was really impressed with how you went jogging. I wish I could do that. I hope I'm not being intrusive or inappropriate by making these comments.

Please don't leave the forums. I haven't been here long but I can see that there are a lot of people who care about you. I think where you're at is a 'normal' part of the recovery process and it would be wrong for you to leave. I think this is where you need to be.

I know I'm not a mental health professional. That is just my opinion as a person who has had a mental illness for many years.

We are all at different stages and places in our experience of recovery and this is where you are at right now. It isn't wrong or bad. Please be kind to yourself.

Please don't believe the negative thoughts in your head. I know how overwhelming they can be but they aren't true. The truth is you are worthy and deserving and you are good enough (and you always have been).

I would be very sad (and very worried about you) if you left.

If I was there with you I would make you a coffee or tea and we could sit down and have some chocolate cake. It's my 50th birthday today and I wanted to make myself a flourless chocolate almond cake but I didn't have the energy or motivation. All I had was some vegemite toast, so it wasn't a very exciting birthday LOL.

I hope this makes sense. I just want you to know that I hear you and I understand you.

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@Arizona

what you said and how & why you said it

But also, Happy Birthday!!

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@Arizona Hmm, this gives me things to think on, thank you for sharing with me. Needed a reminder that this is all a process with different stages.

Finding it hard to discredit the negative thoughts though. They're true, honest, real, just not nice. But that's the reality of it all.

Oh hey thanks for noticing my good week there haha yeah i felt pretty good for a bit there with the weed. Haven't been consistent with it this week. Perhaps self sabotage, or perhaps I really just can't even manage to get out of bed, not even to smoke some weed. Still working on getting up to get some food. Have about an hour left if I wana get something before the IGA closes. Probably not going to make it.

Hey happy birthday btw, sorry you're celebrating with toast instead of cake though. Birthdays are the worst.

Thanks for your kind response @Arizona means a lot to me.

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Go to the shops @saltandpepper , and I will go too, to get myself some chocolate (I need some other things as well).

You can do it!

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