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Something’s not right

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There's been a lot going on in in my head this week. I don't know what I want anymore, if anything. I feel guilty being on the forums, i think because while I don't feel like I'm fixable I still want connections and support. But maybe that's selfish of me. And as it would appear, is not the purpose of the forums. I know I can look too far into things, paranoia/poopy brain issues do that. But I've been feeling like i shouldn't be here on the forums anymore. And i can't tell if it's in my head or not. I know I break a lot of guidelines here and i guess that just goes hand in hand with the things i need to talk about. Which makes it difficult.

I feel like I'm at a point where there's not a lot i can do to help or change things. I don't mean to get on here and post useless things like this. But i guess it's a coping method. Like journaling but with validation.

very fu*king depressed but I don't feel hopeful of change. I don't have a desire to do anything to improve my current situation. I dont want to call helplines or anything. I can't. It's hard enough talking to my psychologist at times. It's at a point where every option feels ultimately pointless. And all of that makes me think I shouldn't be on the forums. Like im doing something wrong. And maybe i am. Maybe it's not fair for someone who feels this hopeless to get on here and wallow when there's people on here who want to climb out of the darkness. Maybe I'm a hinderance.

Im processing a lot atm. Mainly the ugliness of the other night with one of the worst conversations I've had with my ex. Feel like little by little my spirit has been getting broken this year. I logically know a lot of what my ex said is bullshit--or at least one sided. But I guess maybe, it wasn't all bullshit. It wasn't nice, fair, or reasonable, but true...

I haven't ever been very capable at life. Big or small things. I have spent a lot of time struggling with my mental health. It's gotten in the way of living a normal life.

With work, I can fall back on my small business--but it's not a steady income as it's dependent on my level of motivation. It has the potential to grow and become more than it is, but I'm not capable of doing that right now. My inability to bring in big bucks was apprently on the list of reasons why my ex left me. One of my fears realised.

Not being proactive enough regarding household chores--yes I'm terrible at it. There's no good excuse, I'm lazy. I find it a task to do anything really. If i can muster up some motivation I want to put that into time with my kid or getting work done. Another fear realised.

And of course the big one, sex. I wish it was simple for me, but it's not. I feel like i tried explaining things as best I could, and we hd many many uncomfortable talks about it all. Horrible talks. Soul crushing talks. Talks that made me feel inadequate. Talks that make me think I'm only worthy if i make a decent wage and can perform on command.

These are all things that i hate about myself and they're where I'm vulnerable. Having not one of these things but all of them thrown at me has been rough. I know though, I know it was all warranted. Wasn't fun to hear but it is truthful. Doesn't address any of the flaws my ex has or the reasons why I am the way I am, but I guess what it boils down to is that didn't matter to her.

Ive been working on my communication over these past few years, and I have changed a lot. Anger doesn't control me--at least not all the time. I can have conversations, I can feel anger and not act on it, I can listen. But I'm still me. I'm still depressed. And that's just not going to change. The things that attribute to my shitty mental health aren't things I feel I can overcome. Best case scenario I manage to get by and have more days out of bed than in it. But it's not enough is it? I am not enough. And I never have been. I know that, I've always known that. But hearing those are all the reasons why my ex is gone hurts. But maybe that's justified.

Im really battling it out in my head. I feel worthless. Useless. Unlovable. And not just because of my ex, it's everything in my life. I feel like I'm getting pushed to the edge, and I used to fight it, I used to want to fight it. But i feel emptiness like I've never felt before. It hurts. Alot. I'm screwed up, I know that, but it hurts so much more having it thrown in my face. I'm useless. Broken beyond repair.

I want to take my life. I've been going over it a lot this week. Told myself that today would be the day since I'm on my own tonight. Have gone over how I'd do it and figured out a plan so I'm not lying around here for my son to find me. I have it worked out, I could do it, so what's stopping me? My son. Every time I think about going through with it he pops into my head.

I know I'm not a prize. I know I'm better off alone. I know I'm no good in relationships. But I know my son doesn't need me to be any of those things. And that's all that should matter. My son just needs me to be here. And I tell myself that but then I find ways around it, asking myself what kind of example my life sets for him? What will he become because of me? What if I let him down? What if choosing to survive means i continue to drown and get to a point where my suffering befomes his own? And I think people are quick to dismiss these questions, but they're real. Some kids are better off without their real parents. Some kids become irreparably screwed up thanks to their parents. So I'm left asking myself which choice will inflict the least amount of damage?

I haven't made it out of bed yet. Told myself I'd go to the bottle shop, get something nice, and just see where the night goes. I kind of know where it's going if I follow that path. But maybe that's the real reason I'm still in bed, to keep myself safe. But why? I don't know. I'm afraid of the damage it will cause my son. But I don't know for certain if staying alive is going to cause any less damage in the long run. I think about the things that happened to me and particularly about the abuse my brother and I suffered through from our mother. I think about the person I could be now if it weren't for her. I think about it a lot. And it's a big factor for me to weigh in.

I don't expect anyone to have answers or a response here. But I'm sad, alone, just need to be heard I guess.

244 replies

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@Anastasia I'm really glad to hear from you. I've missed you very much and have been thinking of you. I've been wanting to ask how you are, remembering that something had happened the other day and you were upset but not redy to talk about it. I really hope the dust has settled and things are ok with you and your boys too. How are you? And your boys?

Yeah, I know he does.. I mean maybe he didn't used to, but maybe now as we get older and come to grips with everything that went on when we were kids.. I don't want to leave him to deal with it on his own. And he's always here when I need him, always.

really missed you @Anastasia love you 💙💙💙

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I'm ok sweetheart, I have missed you too @saltandpepper. I am juggling lots of balls at the moment with work and just life really. I now have three Managers as such and they all have a :pile_of_poo: load of ideas they want to implement now that they can with my old boss out of the picture. They are all great ideas and a step in the right direction for the company but lil ol me is tired!!

I am pretty good. I think I'm coming to terms with the "new life" we have to live with Covid here. I've made an effort to go for a walk in my lunch break with my boy so we get out and smell the roses. We are all finally booked in for our vaccination now. I feel obligated to do so but I'll be honest I'm nervous for us all. My boy seems to be doing okish. He's pushing some health boundaries and replacing one vice for another so I spend my time planting seeds of reason for him to hopefully eventually take on-board. If only he was a child lol and I could be more in control of the boundaries.

My Dad had his scan results today and no change from the one three months ago which is such a blessing. It's heart breaking I can't see him due to Covid when his days are numbered. So I'm very happy the cancer has not spread more. I ordered his Darryl Lea Dad's bag today and some iTunes vouchers and sent them in readiness for Father's Day. I'll uber era him and Mum a Macca's brekkie as that's a favourite of theirs lol.

When they could travel that was something they looked forward to 😄

Tafe started last night, it was great. A huge class of individuals with all sorts of backgrounds. I think it should be good. No homework this week so someone's looking out for me 😄

Lots of nights in front of the fire is the highlight of late.

That's all I can think of for now. It's the most I've written here in days lol.

Wrapping you up in love S&P 🙏💙🙏

@MDT @TAB @Arizona @Shaz51 @frog @NatureLover 👋all

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Far out @Anastasia always so full on. I'm really sorry to hear you can't visit your dad. Do they live far away? Is telling the world to go eff itself and go drive there a possibility? I'd support it. I'm glad he's hanging in there and love the idea of ubering them some maccas haha, what a great idea. Can you do skype or face time or something with your parents?

Did anything come of that job you applied for? It's good though that your current workplace are taking steps in the right direction. Finally.

Ahkay, sounds like things are a little hairy there with the boy. As for wishing he was a child, i mean if he wants to act like one... eh? Very good you guys are going for a lunch walk together though, sounds really nice. Thought about going for a walk today, was sunny here, really nice day. Didn't make it out today though, maybe tomorrow.

Oh yeah you're at tafe now, that's fantastic, and glad you weren't doused in homework after day 1. Think that'd send a lot of people running if they did that haha

fire pits are great hey, sounds like you've got a good thing going there, maybe you'll be able to catch your 5 minutes of down time now hey?

really nice to hear what's been going on with you @Anastasia 💙

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Thousands of dollars if I tried to visit them in fines @saltandpepper 😳😱

Not to mention potentially jeopardising their health so stuck with it for now hoping everyone is doing their bit and we come out the other side of this 🙏

We talk on the phone most days and my boys call them regularly.

Nothing came out of that job, wasn't meant to be I guess. Just accepting what is for now knowing that better things are on the horizon 😉

I hope you can get out for a walk tomorrow. I highly recommend it.

I'm off to watch an episode of Lost before I pass out. So good to hear from you, keep taking care of you my precious friend 🙏

Edited to add they are close, only 20 mins from here no traffic but in a "safe" area as opposed to where we are.

Think the writers of Lost have lost the plot a little lol with the storyline haha

Sleep well @saltandpepper 🙏💙

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Is it that Lost got bad or you just wanna stay here and talk to me? Haha me jokes me jokes. But really @Anastasia, that show looked terrible

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Haha possibly a bit of both @saltandpepper 😄😜

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Hi @Jynx , I have replied to your email.

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Welp im off to bed here @Anastasia but good to chat again. Missed you and love you 💙

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Oh my friend @saltandpepper i am soooo glad you are still here with us. You deserve so much love and happiness. you have a beautiful caring brother, who thank god helped you when you were in such a bad place. its great that the two of you are sooo close.

it breaks my heart to see you in such a bad place. i hope today you are feeling a little better. We all care for you here and support you in anyway we can.

you have so many friends that care about you. and pls remember your beautiful little boy - he needs his dad.

take care xxxxxxoooo

sendiung you lots of love, hugs and strength.

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@BlueBay This has honestly warmed my heart. ThAnk you for leaving me such a kind message, means a lot to me. Doing a lot better than I was, and today is better than yesterday so I'm feeling cautiously optimistic.

Yeah I don't know where I'd be without my brother, honestly, feel like I'd have given up a long long time ago if it weren't for him. Very lucky he is my brother.

How have you been getting on? ❤️

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