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Something’s not right

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There's been a lot going on in in my head this week. I don't know what I want anymore, if anything. I feel guilty being on the forums, i think because while I don't feel like I'm fixable I still want connections and support. But maybe that's selfish of me. And as it would appear, is not the purpose of the forums. I know I can look too far into things, paranoia/poopy brain issues do that. But I've been feeling like i shouldn't be here on the forums anymore. And i can't tell if it's in my head or not. I know I break a lot of guidelines here and i guess that just goes hand in hand with the things i need to talk about. Which makes it difficult.

I feel like I'm at a point where there's not a lot i can do to help or change things. I don't mean to get on here and post useless things like this. But i guess it's a coping method. Like journaling but with validation.

very fu*king depressed but I don't feel hopeful of change. I don't have a desire to do anything to improve my current situation. I dont want to call helplines or anything. I can't. It's hard enough talking to my psychologist at times. It's at a point where every option feels ultimately pointless. And all of that makes me think I shouldn't be on the forums. Like im doing something wrong. And maybe i am. Maybe it's not fair for someone who feels this hopeless to get on here and wallow when there's people on here who want to climb out of the darkness. Maybe I'm a hinderance.

Im processing a lot atm. Mainly the ugliness of the other night with one of the worst conversations I've had with my ex. Feel like little by little my spirit has been getting broken this year. I logically know a lot of what my ex said is bullshit--or at least one sided. But I guess maybe, it wasn't all bullshit. It wasn't nice, fair, or reasonable, but true...

I haven't ever been very capable at life. Big or small things. I have spent a lot of time struggling with my mental health. It's gotten in the way of living a normal life.

With work, I can fall back on my small business--but it's not a steady income as it's dependent on my level of motivation. It has the potential to grow and become more than it is, but I'm not capable of doing that right now. My inability to bring in big bucks was apprently on the list of reasons why my ex left me. One of my fears realised.

Not being proactive enough regarding household chores--yes I'm terrible at it. There's no good excuse, I'm lazy. I find it a task to do anything really. If i can muster up some motivation I want to put that into time with my kid or getting work done. Another fear realised.

And of course the big one, sex. I wish it was simple for me, but it's not. I feel like i tried explaining things as best I could, and we hd many many uncomfortable talks about it all. Horrible talks. Soul crushing talks. Talks that made me feel inadequate. Talks that make me think I'm only worthy if i make a decent wage and can perform on command.

These are all things that i hate about myself and they're where I'm vulnerable. Having not one of these things but all of them thrown at me has been rough. I know though, I know it was all warranted. Wasn't fun to hear but it is truthful. Doesn't address any of the flaws my ex has or the reasons why I am the way I am, but I guess what it boils down to is that didn't matter to her.

Ive been working on my communication over these past few years, and I have changed a lot. Anger doesn't control me--at least not all the time. I can have conversations, I can feel anger and not act on it, I can listen. But I'm still me. I'm still depressed. And that's just not going to change. The things that attribute to my shitty mental health aren't things I feel I can overcome. Best case scenario I manage to get by and have more days out of bed than in it. But it's not enough is it? I am not enough. And I never have been. I know that, I've always known that. But hearing those are all the reasons why my ex is gone hurts. But maybe that's justified.

Im really battling it out in my head. I feel worthless. Useless. Unlovable. And not just because of my ex, it's everything in my life. I feel like I'm getting pushed to the edge, and I used to fight it, I used to want to fight it. But i feel emptiness like I've never felt before. It hurts. Alot. I'm screwed up, I know that, but it hurts so much more having it thrown in my face. I'm useless. Broken beyond repair.

I want to take my life. I've been going over it a lot this week. Told myself that today would be the day since I'm on my own tonight. Have gone over how I'd do it and figured out a plan so I'm not lying around here for my son to find me. I have it worked out, I could do it, so what's stopping me? My son. Every time I think about going through with it he pops into my head.

I know I'm not a prize. I know I'm better off alone. I know I'm no good in relationships. But I know my son doesn't need me to be any of those things. And that's all that should matter. My son just needs me to be here. And I tell myself that but then I find ways around it, asking myself what kind of example my life sets for him? What will he become because of me? What if I let him down? What if choosing to survive means i continue to drown and get to a point where my suffering befomes his own? And I think people are quick to dismiss these questions, but they're real. Some kids are better off without their real parents. Some kids become irreparably screwed up thanks to their parents. So I'm left asking myself which choice will inflict the least amount of damage?

I haven't made it out of bed yet. Told myself I'd go to the bottle shop, get something nice, and just see where the night goes. I kind of know where it's going if I follow that path. But maybe that's the real reason I'm still in bed, to keep myself safe. But why? I don't know. I'm afraid of the damage it will cause my son. But I don't know for certain if staying alive is going to cause any less damage in the long run. I think about the things that happened to me and particularly about the abuse my brother and I suffered through from our mother. I think about the person I could be now if it weren't for her. I think about it a lot. And it's a big factor for me to weigh in.

I don't expect anyone to have answers or a response here. But I'm sad, alone, just need to be heard I guess.

244 replies

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not used to talking about that @saltandpepper anyway am going for a nap here lol take it easy

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I know man, it's all good @TAB appreciate the response and I know it's hard for you, so thanks

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Love to you my son @saltandpepper ❤❤ keeping going for your Son and brother xxxx

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Thank you mum @Shaz51 that's the plan 🙂

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what @Arizona describes sounds very similar to my time in the hospital. It was a specialist form of care there. I found it really helpful.

Also @saltandpepper I was wondering what had happened to you. I am shocked to hear this mate, but it's good to see you here and I am also glad you're still with us,

You mentioned your son crying and your brother saying these things.
That's powerful.

I wonder if instead you can see that as a reserve of strength. I understand you feel guilty. But I think you also may understand how much you mean to both your brother and your son. Translating something like that into a positive energy probably seems impossible and I struggle that myself.

On sunday night i exploded at home with rage, sadness and confusion. Words were exchanged. Fears were shared. There was a lot of heat between my father and myself. But it was resolved.

I guess what I'm saying is a simple old "sh!t happens"

I made a post last night I may have tagged you on I'm not sure. It was me being really reflective.

Anyway my friend, it is good to see you and I hope you are safe

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Hey @Arizona I'm really sorry to hear you're experiencing SI tonight. Sounds pretty distressing, but I also sense that you're actively looking for ways to keep yourself safe. Do you think you will head in to PARC tonight? Keep us posted, we are all here for you

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@saltandpepper I am very sorry to hear about your experiences over the weekend, but very thankful that you're here with us. I can understand that it has been a very confusing and distressing experience for you. Things can get very tricky when our members are finding themselves in crisis however, as we are not a crisis service and cannot provide the level of support that folks need in those moments. Part of the responsibilities of the forums team is to ensure the forums are a safe space for the whole community. Sometimes that means making hard decisions that aren't always easy for the people involved.

I would ask that you please email the forums team directly if you wish to discuss this incident any further. We do have services that can act as more in-depth support in difficult times, such as our Help Centre Counsellors and Peer Support Workers, and we encourage everyone to link in with those services if they need some extra support.

We are very, very glad that you are okay and that you want to continue connecting with all of the lovely people here on the forums. Wouldn't be the same without you

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Hey hams cheers brother. Yeah I see what you're saying and that's what I hope for, that both what my brother said and that moment with my son will carry through during times when I'm not well.

sorry to hear shit hit the fan over there on sunday, what happened? Things alright between you and your folks? @MDT

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@Jynx I don't even know where to begin to respond to that. So I'll leave it.

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Hello @saltandpepper

Thank God, the Universe, all power you are alive 🙏

I wish I could put into words what I want to say but I just need you to know you matter. I have been concerned and am grateful you let us know you're "ok".

I love your brother for saving you. He needs you buddy, possibly more than you know?

Sending you an abundance of love. Please know it's as real as it gets.

Take care my precious friend, 🙏💙🙏

Ilysm 💙

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