Nervous breakdown

@Zoe7 I really don't want to lean on Sane helpline. I just cannot. I cannot do it at all. It's too triggering for me. I will say it was social media and not a platform. It's hard for anyone to advise that doesn't know the ins and outs. I just thought I'd mention the struggle I'm having. I have to learn to trust my gut instinct. It's just really quadruple hard when you are in such a deep dark valley. Thank you for your post though. While it is the case that what you have said here does certainly happen, it just can't be applied at all in this situation I went through. Powderfinger.

From what you wrote @Powderfinger I had assumed it was here on the forum - so my advice was solely for here. Now knowing it was on social media does make it extra hard for you - especially as there are not the same guidelines to assist as we have here. I am sorry you have been put through this - it really is disheartening to say the least. We, here, are lsitening and I hope that you can lean on us when you need to help you get through.

@Zoe7

I thought you may have thought that. No it wasn't as thus has clear guidelines. As we all know social media doesn't always. I have taken a hiatus from it and I'm certainly NOT missing it at all. I may never even go back. The negatives have always far outweighed the positives.

I'm a critical thinker. I think it's important to be a critical thinker. I've been thinking about it a little more. The conclusion I'm slowly coming to as a result of lack of communication in their part is that there is no wrong or right. It just is. We are both wounded people making choices and decisions from our own wounded places right now. I need to take care of mine and she needs to take care of hers. I need to look at what's going on inside of me. This isn't easy when you're in a mental breakdown. It's darn hard in fact.

I've asked her for an honest conversation, I've said this means something to me, thus friendship. I'd like to talk to you about it. No response, no acknowledgement. The old me would have chased a person for days. Not anymore. It's been less than 24 hours and I've come to realise that her nonresponse to me and my efforts has nothing to do with me. Even though I want to blame myself I must remember that and also that I'm hurt too. Hurt by the actions and left with no response to having an open and honest talk. It's sad. The only thing I can think of is to let go and work through my own feelings alone. I have to hold onto my morals, values and beliefs. Shutting someone's voice down, namely mine for the reasons I'm thinking is a cruel thing to do, especially when there is no explanation about why. Thank you for your support and being there.

Your words here just now and your assessment of the situation are very wise @Powderfinger I hope in reaching some of the conclusions you have and putting yourself first is empowering for you. In the end we can only control what we do ourselves and when what we expect of others falls short then we do need to realise that that is on them and not ourselves ...this post of yours actually made me smile - you have great insight and sometimes that comes with disappointment and hurt but working through that is healing in and of itself.

@Anastasia Is you ok? 💙

Me does miss you @Anastasia 💙

@Anastasia u ok?

Hi @Anastasia

I had a 3-year nervous breakdown which I spent in bed, apart from going to the doctor and out for food. I felt unable to face anything and was severely depressed and intensely suicidal. I couldn't cope with cooking and so ate toast with Vegemite all that time and the occasional pizza (and yes, I developed diabetes type 2 from that, but at at least I'm still alive). I couldn't sleep and didn't sleep properly for about 18 months, just napped during the day. The nights were horrendous, full of dark thoughts and incredible feelings of vast aloneness. (After that 18 months I was put on sleeping tablets.) I relied like anything on text messages from the few friends who didn't dump me, but was unable to reply to them - I didn't have the emotional energy.

One strange thing /symptom was that I wrote, off and on - prose, poetry, anything. It was all intensely dark, and I've since thrown it away as I don't want to remember how I felt. It was the worst time of my life, and has left a lasting impression and fear on me of going back there. Nothing worked to shift the severe depression. What shifted it in the end was going to the ED (my GP made me) where there wasn't a bed for me in the psych ward, but where I got referred to a psychiatrist who immediately changed my medication to something much stronger. Mind you, I had to wait 3 months to get in to see her, at the worst time of my life. I honestly don't know how I survived that 3 years.

So - signs and symptoms to look out for (in my experience) are: no sleep, severe depression and intense SI, unable to face friends or reply to text messages, out of character things like intense bursts of dark writing, unable to make a decision, unable to speak properly as your mouth just won't work (which is a symptom of severe depression for me), unable to get out of bed, unable to face anything. (A lot of those symptoms are those of regular depression, but just intensified.)

What helped: a few things did help actually. I was still suicidal, but these things helped me to not actually try anything:

• Text messages from friends who essentially said "I'm thinking of you - no reply needed". (I can't stress enough how important this was)
• Food - I'm a foodie, and would tell myself things like "If you can try not to suicide today, you can have a pizza tonight."
• Escapism in the form of books (my chosen escapism). Even though when severely depressed I couldn't concentrate on the books, I still tried to read them and they helped.
• Right at the end of the nervous breakdown, I was given some multivitamins, which helped.

U no talk to me? @Anastasia

@Zoe7

Hi,

I'm really tired. It's 8 am in the morning. I think I got up at 7. I am staying away from social media. I'm needing a break from it and I just don't want to see the horror on it anymore. It's partly what has contributed to me not coping at all.

The person in question has still not responded to me. I'm thinking less of receiving a response now and trying to work through my feelings. There is advice out there that says to just move on but I don't think you can until you have worked through it really. Reflection and hindsight is a great thing. I'm at the point though where I feel if she just doesn't want to answer I am moving on. No point in keeping in trying if you are getting no response or acknowledgement and even though sometimes it really hurts, sometimes things can be a blessing in disguise too.

Powderfinger.