Nervous breakdown

Hey @Anastasia It is hard to say which came first - breakdown or depression - but for me everything was overwhelming - I stopped doing some of the simpler things (no energy or motivation), was overly fatigued and everything seemed to be too much. I would cry for no real reason and slump in a heap on the floor unable to move for sometimes hours on end. The breaking point for me came when I smashed a wooden kitchen rack into a chair and then could not stop crying. I could literally feel all the stress engulf me and take over and that was a momentary release

From my experience - reading the signs of that stress and dealing with them before it is so overwhelming you cannot do anything is very much the key.

Thank you @Zoe7 💞

@Anastasia @Zoe7

Thank you so much for asking the question @Anastasia and for answering @Zoe7

I'm in the midst of having a mental breakdown. It's very frightening and there are really no words to describe all of it. I'm understanding that sadly you just can't talk to people who do not want to be there to support you at all. You have to forget about them and they have to forget about you. It's one way of finding out who truly cares for you. I used to forgive people for not being there, until I learnt that by doing that I was allowing their selfishness, toxicity and making me feel guilty for not being well. I don't forgive anymore, I just say goodbye.

@Powderfinger I'm so sorry 💔

Thank you for your advice. Love to you sweetheart 💞

@Anastasia Right back at you. X

I think if you're asking yourself this question @Anastasia you might already have a sense something isn't quite right. Go with your gut and prep for it however best you can now

Like you @Powderfinger you do truly find out who is there for you in those times. I had one friend at work who I thought was a good friend that I did not hear from at all for the 2 years I was away but tried to hug me when I went back - it was very awkward for me but I could not pretend.

@Zoe7

I would not be able to pretend either. I know I'm going to lose people and I'm fine with it. They aren't meant to be there. I'll meet new people. I just have zero ability to care for anyone at this point. I'm just trying to keep myself alive. Some people say you need to go to hospital. They don't even know I had so much trauma through hospitals so it's not an option. I'm happy in my own home sorting me out at my pace.

At my worst I was also encouraged to go to hospital until my pdoc understood how triggering that was for me too @Powderfinger I did however have daily check-ins with my GP - even when she was not working she would call or text and the other days I had to physically get myself in to see her at the practice. I also saw my psych twice (at least) a week and my pdoc weekly - so between them all, those on here and the counsellors at SANE I was literally kept aive by kindness. So extending just that kindness and a soft place for you to fall right here amongst us as you work your way through this incredibly difficult time

@Zoe7

Thank you so much for the support. It is super nice for me to speak to a person who has been through it and can understand. I'm glad you had all those things in place. Where I live is a small regional town, it's corrupt here. I trust no one much. It's just very bad. I keep to myself. The trauma I've been through and then more thus weekend because of this town was the cherry on the cake that was one cherry too much.

I've been actually stuck on something all day and have made no progress. A "newly made friend" deleted my post. I won't say where to keep in alignment with SANE rules. Usually I don't mind if posts are deleted. This post actually meant something to me, it took immense courage and I thought my new found friend would have my back. I thought this because it is something we talked a lot about prior to it. We had same feelings and thoughts. It felt nice to be supported. So, it gave me the courage to write it. It was up for two days then I saw last night it was gone.

I have asked to have a talk with her so I could see if she took it down. I didn't want to assume. She has not been responding to any of my messages or calls. I'm very hurt and sad because I feel it took away my voice and if she did it, she shut it down. If she did it, I don't know the reasons. I was willing to talk about it and not make assumptions but I'm getting to the point where I just want to say goodbye. It may seem pretty and stupid but it isn't to me. I'm really struggling with my feelings, the situation and because my head is a complete mess I am unable to really sort it out. I'm not sure what to do.