Introduction

@Ybother

I do hear what you are saying. You are not in a good place at the moment, and I wish that there was something more that I could do or say to help you reach a better place.

With My Best Wishes

HenryX

I just need to find a better place

I don't belong here

@HenryX

Before I was taken away on a trip that I never wanted to go on I was kicking arse looking for work friends happy

now this I think it's obvious I never was meant to go on that trip

I didn't want to go and I thi k I would have been better without the last 5 years

no other explanation

Hi @Ybother, I just wanted to drop by and say that you are most certainly welcome here and while I'd like to tell you that you belong here, I know that's up to you to decide. It's a feeling no one but you will know, though I hope you do feel welcome, supported and accepted here, I understand needing to find the space that feels like the right fit for you. I hope you are able to find that place, whether that's a particular space on these forums, another forum or somewhere offline. Wishing you all the very best. 🌹

It's not the forum.

but I feel like a punching bag emotionally, and a swear people hit me.

I'm really don't feel comfortable

@TideisTurning @HenryX And anyone else I just can't explain it but I'm just surrounded by people that I don't feel understand what I'm going through.

every were I have just been pushed around emotionally all I ever want to do is run away from everyone.

I'm so hurt, it wasn't supposed to be anything like this

Everyone is on my back for not working when I can't even be in the same room as some for 5 minutes without feeling like I'm under investigation

Holding that hope you'll find that understanding and connection you long for and deserve @Ybother 💖

Hello @Ybother

What @TideisTurning has said to you, I wholeheartedly support and agree with.

At the present time you are talking about the past five years. I think that often, it is very helpful to talk about what has occurred or happened to us. This forum gives you, me, and every other member that opportunity, if we want to do so, because of the anonymity.

We can often be very harsh on ourselves, when we feel that we have, at some stage, made a decision that we later regret. This can turn into a self-blame response that can be really hard to deal with, because it comes from inside us, as well as the outside issues. While, obviously, I may not be correct, I think that I sense some of that in what you are saying about that trip.

I know that in my own life, events have occurred, that have been inconsistent with the principles, and faith background, that I attempt to adhere to in my life. I have had to deal with the memory of those events, in much the same way as I have suggested above.

Earlier, in our discussion, I have suggested, that when something bad happens to us, it does not change our worthiness or intrinsic value as a person. It is an experience that has happened to us, but only remains part of us to the extent that we hold the memory of that experience in our minds.

What I hear you saying is that that trip caused a distinct change in how you felt about yourself. Everything around you now, seems to remind you of that time. And it seems that that is the place that you want to, or are trying to get away from.

Please let me know if any of what I have said connects with how you are feeling at the present time.

I will still have to address you by your forum address (@Ybother) , in any of my responses to you. However, I would like to call you, “Artist”. Would that be alright with you? Or is there another name that you would be happy with me using?

With Support and Best Wishes

HenryX

You can call me anything, As long as it's not bloke, mate, or bob if you catch my drift.

I don't mean to be like this, I'm really sorry something Is just not right.

I talk to doctors, Counselers, meds screwed me up, I can see people wanting to help but it's just not working, I don't blame anyone for trying.

I call hot lines you name it, I just don't until

but yes I'm in a bad place and the people I love are hurting me, even if they don't mean to.

it's so painful, trauma sux, when I'm ok I'm awesome. But omg when I'm not I'm in total hell. I'm sure plenty of people know that feeling