Introduction

@Ybother

Hello Artist, Thank you. I very much understand the avoidance of Australian-isms used as forms of address.

My turn to apologise to you for the time that it takes for me to write a response.

You have said that “something is just not right”, and I can really understand that feeling of instability and “not being in a place that I feel comfortable”.

Sometimes, it is very difficult to find the best treatment. Oftentimes, I truly think that the major part of healing comes from within ourselves. Others can assist with counselling, possibly medication, though that often just numbs the pain. I think that most doctors seem to be able to respond best to physical ailments and that is their training, unless or until they add psychology or psychiatry to their qualifications.

I hear you about people wanting to help, but probably don't know or understand the things we need to hear. Sometimes all we need is for someone to be there with us.

In trying to help, people may say things that are dismissive, minimising how we feel, or telling us things like “You'll get over it”, “Just give it time”, or what many people feel upset when they hear, “you need to take up Yoga”. Those people want to help, but they cannot know how we are feeling. And often those people are the ones to whom we are closest. Trying to help, but not being able to understand how we are feeling, or to be able to "put themselves into our shoes". Unfortunately, those expressions just seem to drive us further into retreat within ourselves.

You mentioned that, when “I'm ok I'm awesome”. Would you mind telling me about how you have felt, and what was happening recently, when you were feeling ok. I'm not wanting to avoid the primary issue, but rather, wanting to know how you sometimes are able to balance your life and feelings.

I would add, that if there is anything that I say to you that causes you any discomfort, please let me know. I would much rather that you tell me than that I may cause you offense.

With Support and Best Wishes

HenryX

@HenryX @Just want what was stolen from me after beauty school, my happiness

@Ybother

Hello Artist,

It sounds to me as though, through that experience, that you seem to be now, almost hyper-critical of yourself, your work and artistry, and extending to things that impose themselves into your life, directly and indirectly.

I notice what you are saying; that your responses seem to be non-consistent, in that “a totally randomly assigned feeling attached with it” when you look at the same or similar events compared to each other.

I like your analogy with regard to “the dog”; wanting to deal with the dog one day, and wanting the dog the next.

Being trapped between the life that you want, as the soft, gentle, nurturing person that you see yourself as having been, and the life, that you feel has been imposed on you, and causes you to be fearful of again being the way that you remember yourself . You feel that to trust now could lead to you to being hurt again.

So even those awesome moments are not only irregular, but generally rarely experienced now. “I can count on one hand the amount of times I actually liked being in my body”

During the first ~thirty odd years, did you generally feel safe?

Would you tell me a little more about the pleasant time that you recollect when you were “with the girls at beauty school, …..”, with and from whom you felt such warm acceptance.

I also am hearing you about the “extremely high expectations.” And the resulting self judgement and feelings of being “unworthy and useless...”

The detail in your art work, the light and shadow, shading and direction of lines for the effect that you have used in composition of the subject on the ball against the wall and the hand. This all reflects your desire, to have what you present, meet those high expectations to which you refer.

I think that your own self critiquing of your art work is something that I understand all really good artists do.

Artist, what I talk about with you is from a non-professional perspective. Any thoughts or suggestions that I offer, are from my own life experience.

I think that I am, probably, a little like you, and would refer to myself as being fastidious with regard to grammar, and particularly meaning, in my writing. Unfortunately, I am not as able, in that regard, as I would like to be.

With Support and Best Wishes

HenryX

@HenryX
im looking for a way out, I honestly feel like the loser of the group that everyone hates

@Ybother

Hello Artist,

Sorry, thought this response had gone through an hour ago. I may have overlooked second "Post" after "check for highlighted errors" message.

It sounds to me as though, through that experience, that you seem to be now, almost hyper-critical of yourself, your work and artistry, and extending to things that impose themselves into your life, directly and indirectly.

I notice what you are saying; that your responses seem to be non-consistent, in that “a totally randomly assigned feeling attached with it” when you look at the same or similar events compared to each other.

I like your analogy with regard to “the dog”; wanting a gun one day, and wanting the dog the next.

Being trapped between the life that you want, as the soft, gentle, nurturing person that you see yourself as having been, and the life, that you feel has been imposed on you, and causes you to be fearful of again being the way that you remember yourself . You feel that to trust now could lead to you being hurt again.

So even those awesome moments are not only irregular, but generally rarely experienced now. “I can count on one hand the amount of times I actually liked being in my body”

During the first ~thirty odd years, did you generally feel safe?

Would you tell me a little more about the pleasant time that you recollect when you were “with the girls at beauty school, …..”, with and from whom you felt such warm acceptance.

I also am hearing you about the “extremely high expectations.” And the resulting self judgement and feelings of being “unworthy and useless...”

The detail in your art work, the light and shadow, shading and direction of lines for the effect that you have used in composition of the subject on the ball against the wall and the hand. This all reflects your desire, to have what you present, meet those high expectations to which you refer.

I think that your own self critiquing of your art work is something that I understand all really good artists do.

Artist, what I talk about with you is from a non-professional perspective. Any thoughts or suggestions that I offer, are from my own life experience.

I think that I am, probably, a little like you, and would refer to myself as being fastidious with regard to grammar, and particularly meaning, in my writing. Unfortunately, I am not as able, in that regard, as I would like to be.

With Support and Best Wishes

HenryX

@HenryX

Yes well to be honest, I'm just to lazy if I'm not writing for academic work.

I'll chat later, to be honest right at this moment I would like to see the world being struck by a foreign body.
therefore, I will chat later.

@HenryX @Bottom line. I don't fit in here.

@Ybother

Ok, Artist, I look forward to the next time that we connect here on the forum

Best Wishes

HenryX

To easy

@HenryX @I might just head off.

I think it's time I say it's been too long with no result from the people that are supposed to be helping.

honestly I think they have done more harm than good.

it might be time to go home, the place were most of the bad things happened, and just give up on the things I wanted.

I think I'm just in a different place than others, I should have stayed on the dsp and just studied at home