Defining our Personal Integrity

Hi @utopia@Former-Member@Kurra@Appleblossom

I really like all of these comments - this is a brilliant discussion

It is time for me to go to bed - but I will take these thoughts with me and think about them

My main thought it that we learn by mistakes and our whole life is a works-in-progress

I will read what's been recently posted then hit the sack

So goodnight all - and thanks for your ideas on this interesting and controversial subject

Decadian

Hii @utopia

Dignity is how we feel - and not at all about our appearance

After all - I have known people who are disturbed about their appearance - stuff I would not have noticed had they not brought it up - stuff I liked about them even

But apart from our age and height we can change things we don't like - but it is far better to like what we are instead of getting into a twist about things

And in the long run - it is our inner qualities that give us the grace to go through this life

Still - my thoughts when going to bed were not on this subject - I was really tired. Still - I did think about learning by trial and error - if something doesn't work for us we can try something else - after all - some famous genius said once "It's not the point that the 547 ways I have tried to do this have been wrong - it's just that I haven't found the right way yet"

I forget who that was and that's not exactly what he said - but it applies to our interactions with other people and the world in general.

And another one is trying the same thing over and over again and getting the same result when something different is required is not a good idea.

So we learn - and I value everyone's imput here - I thought it would be interesting but it's way more than that

Decadian

I used to yell too @utopia - my LH drove me crackers - I could hardly stand his morose comments after a fine morning to see the weather closing in by the time he got up - around 11.00am - to have him say

"Looks as if it's set in for the day" - and mope around - taking his cigarettes outside and stand, smoking, in the car port glaring at me because I would not let him smoke in the house.

I sometimes became furious with his laziness - I would stamp my feet and shriek - but it didn't make any difference -

Now days I don't have to do that - I do whatever needs doing in my own time - when I am ready - when things annoy me enough - but here I only have myself to please

Back to being assertive - I did a course in that - and then someone asked me why on earth I did the course - why did I need to?

Because it worked

It comes back to the Assertive Bill of Rights - I wonder if I could find that again on the internet - we all have rights

One thing is that we do not have to like things because other people doo - we have our own taste after all

And we all have the right to say "I don't know" - or "I don't want to" - we can please ourselves some of the time.

Women get the bad end of the stick - we are brought up by our mothers to obey our parents - and then our teachers, bosses, co-workers, men in particular - our husbands - it goes on and on

And we find that we are miserable - how bad is that - we cannot please all of the people all of the time

But one thing remains true - in some things we can please ourselves.

I might have got on with my mother better if I had done more of what she wanted me to - liked what she wanted me to like - but there is no guarantee of that - at least pleasing myself when I could - esp when I was an adult - at least I was happy

So - I will have to find that Asserive Bill of Rights - or maybe someone else will - or maybe we can make our own

Decadian

Hi @utopia

It is so true that what works for one person doesn't work for another - it can be frustrating at times - I can be super-interested at times only to have another person throw their own bucket of water over whatever it is

But then - rather than get on my own hobby horse I say "Well yes- people will find their own interests - people will do what they are interested in"

Which does not deny my interest nor theirs

It's a windy and warm day here - I got a newspaper when I went out earlier - I think the forecast is for 23 degrees - I am wearing shorts and a short sleeved shirt today - but yes - the wind is getting stronger and the forecast is for some chilly days

But today is great - how I enjoy warm weather

Decadian