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Memories

Memories

When I was in high school I often didn't pack a lunch. Partly laziness, partly nothing much there to eat. I'd chuck a couple of apples in my bag and a can of soft drink (which cost 50c back then) and then not eat the apples because bleh. But they were there if I got too hungry.

I was friends with a girl back then and she started noticing I didn't ever bring much food with me. She started out pretending like she wasn't going to eat all her lunch and share hers with me. Eventually she started just packing extra snacks--fruit buns I recall--for me to have. Wednesday's she'd buy her lunch from the canteen and she'd get me a hot chicken wrap. She mothered me a lot back then. She didn't have to, I didn't ask, no one told her to, she was just a really good person.

I think of her often, and I feel very grateful to her. She was always very kind and caring. I remember I started calling her "Mum" as a "joke". But it wasn't really. She took good care of me like mother's are meant to.

It makes me ache to think back on it now.

@BlueBay @TAB @MDT @Appleblossom @Bow @Powderfinger @NatureLover

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In response to: Memories

Re: Memories

Morning @Emelia8 how are you going today?

In response to: Re: Memories

Re: Memories

Tired @saltandpepper and feeling very anxious. Hope you slept well and awoke ready to tackle another day? Did I read that you have your son for a while today?

In response to: Re: Memories

Re: Memories

@Emelia8 Didnt get much rest then? Anxious about anything in particular or it's just rearing its ugly head? Sounds like a shitty morning there, take it easy today if you can. Give your dog lots of pats, that always helps me.

Yeah this morning for a bit then he'll be back for wednesday night

In response to: Re: Memories

Re: Memories

No not a lot of sleep @saltandpepper . Pretty typical with PTSD, just cannot down regulate. Snatches of sleep, no more than an hour or two at a time. All pretty normal for me.

Anxiety causes? Lots of things. Underlying PTSD causing feelings of vulnerability now that hubby is gone, and I am here on my own. Worried about how I will cope in the longer term, especially around the trauma anniversaries.

Still lots I need to do regarding my husbands estate and probate and its bogging me down.

Concern about possible lost data, photos, important emails from PC.

I had surgery last November for breast cancer, and I see my surgeon this Friday for checkup. Concerned about ongoing pain and soreness to do with that.

Worrying about Holly and her vet apt tomorrow. Concerned her diagnosis will mean I wont have her for much longer.

Worried about my 88yo dad whose health is deteriorating. Need to get down to visit him, but medical apts for me here, means I need to keep deferring.

I dont know ... just lots of baggage I guess. Going to get to my pilates class this morning and try to burn off some of this anxiety.

Enjoy your precious time with your son. Very special.

Hope you and your boy's appointments go well today @Anastasia . Hoping you may have given yourself permission for a bit of a sleepin this morning, given you have a day off work. 🐝

Emelia

In response to: Re: Memories

Re: Memories

Ah geez @Emelia8 I'm really sorry to hear there's so much going on for you. Do you have good supports in place re trauma recovery?

I'm confident the data will all be recovered from your pc, generally not an issue.

I wish I could ease your mind with your other concerns but alas, life is a right pri*k sometimes. But I'm here, and happy to chat anytime you need.

I don't know how helpful this is, but writing worries out is meant to be helpful. It doesn't solve any problems. It's just meant to help ease that worry cycle running through your mind. Maybe try having a notepad close by and just jot down your worries through the day and see how it feels by tonight?

Sending you a big hug @Emelia8

In response to: Memories

Re: Memories

@Anastasia Hope you're not cranky with me 🤗

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Nooooooooo @saltandpepper

About to combust here. Can't get my boy moving and need to leave in 10 for two appointments for me that I really don't want to go to as the outcome is going to be awful.

Could never be cranky with you. Well yes, I could when you aren't kind to yourself then I'm cranky.

Love you both longtime

@Emelia8

In response to: Re: Memories

Re: Memories

Is he not doing well this morning? @Anastasia

Tried the approach that you need him to be up for your sake so you're not worrying about him? If you can make it about him doing something to help you it might work.

Also, I guess it's probably to be expected here, he's going to have days where he needs to just stay in bed and rest I guess. He's gone through a lot.

Well if the appointments are going to be shit then is missing them going to matter? Can they be rescheduled? Sorry it's a rough morning there for you guys.

Glad you're not cranky with me

In response to: Re: Memories

Re: Memories

Tried everything for years really...

I am at carpark for appointment 😔

He was going to come with me and then we were going to have lunch. Oh well. I couldn't cancel. I have done that twice already over the past 2 years. Just been putting this off but now it's impacting my life too much.

Home straight after and hope he's up ready for his appointment that will also bring some heavy news. What a day 😔

Hope yours is kind to you @saltandpepper

Hoping you enjoy your Pilates class @Emelia8 and are able to negotiate a better price for your computer repairs.

Bye for now 👋

In response to: Re: Memories

Re: Memories

You wanna talk about your appointment? @Anastasia Hope you are ok?

What's happening with your son, why the heavy news?

Sending you a big squishy hug

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