@Peta1
Hello Peta1
I noticed your post and want to respond to you about your feelings of anxiety, fearfulness, nervousness and consequent feelings of stress that arise with some of the other issues.
I agree with you, that it is very difficult for people to share and have acknowledged their feelings and symptoms in relation to mental illness or concerns, particularly in our work, social and often, even home environments. That really is the point of having a place, which these forums provide, where such discussions can take place, without any fear of judgement, denial, prejudice or put-downs.
The beauty of this environment is that the other participants here all have some issues that they are facing or have faced in their lives. Consequently, people are not here to judge one another but on the contrary, are here to offer assistance to each other in a mutually beneficial way. We hope that you will be able to discuss ways that might help you to resolve some, or hopefully all, of the issues that you are addressing. By resolving, I mean finding ways of minimising the impact that these issues have on our lives.
I have experienced many times in my life when I would rather stay quiet than say something that may be viewed by others as being stupid, ridiculous or idiotic. I believe that some of those feelings arose from a view of life that I had that was as if looking through “dark” glasses. Indeed, I moved between jobs partly for those reasons. I wish that I had realised or become aware more quickly about the causes of those problems that came from my way of thinking or psychological issues that needed to become more balanced.
The point that you have arrived at is what I refer to as a “crisis point”. That is where you become aware, as I did, of the reality, that if I did not find out the cause of these problems, then I may be heading for deeper problems in the future. I believe that “crisis points” are good in that it is a time when we can change what is happening to us.
You mention that you are working with a new psychologist. You are receiving professional assistance with the issues that you are facing, which is so important. While forum members cannot offer professional guidance, you will be given cues where people can say that they have felt similar ways or experienced certain phenomena. Many of these will help you to identify areas that you can then discuss with forum members and/or your psychologist.
If you feel that a person is clearly in, or discussing similar circumstances to your own, you can left-mouse-click on their forum identifier with the prefix “@”. Mine for example would be “@HenryX”. This will give you access to the threads in which they are likely to be discussing concerns, symptoms, phenomena, etc that you might be experiencing. There may be filler threads that consist of greetings and courtesies. These can be uplifting but possibly not substantial in terms of the material you may be looking for. Just continue the search for the material that you want. Also, with the “@........” designator, you can flag a person's attention to your post, that you would like them to see and to which you may like their response.
I spoke recently with someone who was concerned about persistent negative thoughts that she was finding difficult to stop. This is what I suggested (I have quoted from that discussion):
“In my experience, I have found that it is very difficult to get rid of ideas or thoughts, by trying to get rid of them. Allow me to explain myself, please. When we are trying to get rid of a thought we logically have to think about the thought we are trying to get rid of. Sometimes I explain this idea by holding up my hand and asking the person with whom I am speaking to push their hand against mine. Remember the old equal and opposites thingy (Please excuse my very physics type explanation – but I think you will understand) anyway, to maintain a position there has to be an equal and opposite force. If one hand is removed there is nothing to hold the other against and it (the other) will drop. I believe the same applies to thoughts, that sometimes we fight so hard to prevent the thought that we actually encourage its resistance and persistence.”
You have said that you are “starting to think I can't change.” I believe that I can almost guarantee that you can change. There are many different types of therapy under the uninspiring title of “talk” therapies. You might like to research “Cognitive Behavioural Therapy” or CBT, “Dialectical Behavioural Therapy” or DBT and "Acceptance Commitment Therapy" or ACT. These will give you some ideas that you can use on your own, though I would recommend that you do so with the guidance of and in conjunction with your psychologist. As well as the discussion and personal awareness approaches, there is a range of medications that can be very usefully applied to assist with psychological balancing. I take a medication that I am aware is beneficial for me. I am keenly aware of that if I forget to take it.
Peta, I do hope, that while I have covered a lot of ground, you will find this information useful to you.
Other forum members and I will be happy to assist if there are any of these or other ideas you would like to discuss.
With My Most Sincere Best Wishes
HenryX
P.S. I have also posted a copy of this note to Erin86
