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Something’s not right

The absolute horror that my life currently is.

The absolute horror that my life currently is.

@Anastasia @Zoe7

I think this is the only thing that is going to really save me and barely. Writing. I don't know what to say anymore. I am blocking my thoughts and feelings because I cant deal with them. I want to scream at her and say can you not just be a little bit more sensitive and shut your door while you are packing more and taping up your boxes! When I think of saying that to her, my immediate afterthought is no point, she will not care anyway. There will be no sorry nor recognition of what I am feeling. Then the very next thing that will happen is I get a flashback of a beautiful memory of us together, I see it playing out in front of me like a home movie. After all that happening in less than two minutes, I just want to scream. I want it to stop. I want my pain to go away. There is nowehere and no one for me to turn to and I have to keep going when I feel like this. That is very literally how it is for me.

Going through the formalities via text today, not talking as usual. Signing over the lease, the bond variation form, sorting out things we bought together, placing an ad for a new housemate, all while I am feeling like absolute sh....t.

She came to me this morning and said to me there is a bird outside that cant fly... I just went hmmmm and said nothing. Usually I would be the first to help an animal if it was not doing too good. I sat where I sat and did not move. Afetr she said that I started to cry, I could not hold my tears back. In my head I said to msyelf, well there is a bird in her that cant fly either. I wish I could leave for two weeks while she sorts herself out and moves out. I do not want to feel like this every single day. It is making things worse and harder for me.

Yet, it's like a nightmare that you cannot wake up from and escape. I cannot leave. I have to show people through the house, interview people as potential housemates, and be here, when I really do not want to be. I am struggling to get my head and heart around someone you were sharing your life with being like this towards someone they apparently loved. The words ring through my head often. I cannot imagine my life without you, these arms were made for you to be held in them, the hours and hours we spoke for about going travelling overseas together, buying a house together, the life we shared.

Hey, I know I was being treated like crap. How could I ever forget. I know I do not deserve to be treated like that. I have some self respect for me. BUT and there is a BUT when you spend time with the person you love, creating a life together and there was a time when you truly felt loved by them, the memories you have of your time together, the way you met and so on, well yeah it hurts badly. It would have been easier to let go if I was abused and not loved the whole time, but it wasn't the case. I am struggling to eat. My tummy grumbles at me but the thought of food and trying to eat is just not something I am interested in. I am struggling to get up and move, do things. I just plonk on the couch and either stare into space or cry.

The thing is people do not want to hear much about pain at all. People cannot seem to manage someone crying or talking about their pain. So, I shut down even further because I cannot be full of beans and happy. Firstly I would be lying and second I could not keep that up for long. Its just wearing a mask. I think to myself I thoughts our bind was strong, I thought our love would be strong enough to see us through hard times, I thought my love would be strong enough for you to stay, to work things out, to do better. All I am seeing now is the fact that she cannot wait to leave and start her new life on her own. I say nothing. It is hard enough imaginging our lives even further apart now. Its a small town. Will probably bump into her one day, but I will hope to be not having that happen often. It will just be too hard. I will not be texting her or calling her when has left. Anything that needed to be spoken about has been. Outstanding debts which are not a great amount. They have been sorted how they will be paid without us even having to speak. So, really there is no reason for contact. It is me that has to break the ties I have left to her. Breaking the love I feel is the hardest tie to break. I know that for me it would be unhealthy to kepp trying and I know there is not really any point. Grief will do these things. The bargaining for you. This is how i feel if anyone cares to hear my pain.

140 replies

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In response to: The absolute horror that my life currently is.

Re: The absolute horror that my life currently is.

@Anastasia I guess I didn't see it nor think of it as a "traumatic breakup". Food for thought. I think you are right though because I'm having all the symptoms related to trauma. 😪😔😒

I hope you are ok after your painful health news? Working through this news in your own way? Giving it time to sink in. Big hugs for you. Xxxxx

In response to: Re: The absolute horror that my life currently is.

Re: The absolute horror that my life currently is.

Thank you gorgeous, I'm as ok as I can be. Accepted it all now. Focusing on the now as much as I can. Still thinking of you and.sendimg.you love my dear friend @Powderfinger 🌻🌸💞

In response to: Re: The absolute horror that my life currently is.

Re: The absolute horror that my life currently is.

@Anastasia

Please tell me that it wasn't life threatening news????? As long as you are doing OK. I'm not. I decided to just not fight anything at all right now. Just be whatever I'm being. I distracted myself with sleep and fixing a pram for a young mum. It's fixed now. I got one arriving tomorrow and another one arriving on Monday to fix.

Words getting round which is good.

In response to: Re: The absolute horror that my life currently is.

Re: The absolute horror that my life currently is.

@Powderfinger I can't believe you're busy helping others and functioning well enough to fix a pram if you're feeling bad atm. 👍 WELL DONE - THATS IMPRESSIVE! I'm feeling a bit negative & want to be reassured that others know what it's like to be socialising with friends but still feel alone/ as though don't being because of how illness has altered confidence levels. Do others understand what I mean? The longer I'm unwell over the years the wider the gap seems between me and 'normal people'

In response to: Re: The absolute horror that my life currently is.

Re: The absolute horror that my life currently is.

@Anastasia Hope things are easier ASAP

In response to: Re: The absolute horror that my life currently is.

Re: The absolute horror that my life currently is.

Hi @Powderfinger

Totally agree with @Sam3 , you're amazing! Words getting round is brilliant ✔️

Yes I hear you Sam, I get it, I often feel alone when I'm surrounded by others. Hugs to you hunny 🤗

My Dad's is Powder, 😔 mines not but need to have tests quickly to ensure that as dr believes plaque in arteries causing blockage. So either surgery or meds depending on severity. Promise to keep you in the loop so please don't worry just focus on you 💕😘🙏

In response to: Re: The absolute horror that my life currently is.

Re: The absolute horror that my life currently is.

@Sam3

Thank you. Partly it is about the money. It keeps me going. Financially my ex leaving is costing me big. Most of all though, I do it for my joy and my customers joy. For my joy, the pleasure of fixing something I know nothing about usually and then actually repairing it. It gives me a sense of a job well done. Each job brings its own joy. Each customer brings its own joy. This particular customer id a single mum who bought the pram second hand. She got ripped off as the lady who sold it to her did not tell her the brakes didn't work and would not give a refund.

This customer is so happy I have fixed it. For me, they come to me feeling sad and they come back feeling happy. Just my way of things at the moment. It's a win/win.

I assure you, I'm.not able to function and do much else. I have not showered in three days and I'm usually just sitting around not really doing anything useful or I'm sleeping.

I get frustrated and very angry sometimes with my MI. Especially since I didn't cause it. CPTSD with chronic depression and severe anxiety. I don't think I've really ever come to acceptance of the diagnosis. It is definitely correct, just hard to accept. At this point in time I'm not really up.for socialising. It usually doesn't end up well so I just mind my own business and carry on. Remember this though, just because of an MI doesn't make anything new better than you. There is people that do not have a MI that truly just suck as people.

In response to: Re: The absolute horror that my life currently is.

Re: The absolute horror that my life currently is.

@Anastasia

Thank you sweetie. Xx my little business is starting to become known which is nice. Word of mouth is often the best advertising.

Ok yes that is serious @Anastasia Hopefully it's the less invasive path and it will require tablets only. If surgery, they can remove a lot of the plaque which will be beneficial for your dad. Not sure about his diet but he may need to reduce his cholesterol intake vastly and very little of fatty, fried food.

Fingers crossed for your dad. Xxxx

In response to: Re: The absolute horror that my life currently is.

Re: The absolute horror that my life currently is.

@Powderfinger

Dad's is cancer hun. It's liver and spread now to his lymph nodes 😔 They are doing further treatment, they said go and enjoy your time 😔

Mine is the plaque scenario 😔

Sorry to confuse.

I'll be thinking of you with your work and just cause xox

In response to: Re: The absolute horror that my life currently is.

Re: The absolute horror that my life currently is.

@Anastasia

Oh sorry, yeah got confused. Sorry to hear about your father. That is painful to hear. Do enjoy your time together. Create lovely memories.

As for you take care of yourself and your health as best you can. Xxxx

I've woken up early as my mate is coming over at 7. I had some really disturbing messages from a friend last night. Banter between us back and forth. I'm actually quite disgusted by the way she treated me. It was actually very abusive psychologically and way over the top. I'm not actually wanting to speak to her at all and it has made me question if this is someone I do want in my life as a friend.

She did everything my ex did. I don't have time now but I'll share later. Xxxx

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