So very very tired.

Hi @Powderfinger you sound totally exhausted and worn out with the people in your life at the moment. Be kind to yourself, take time out and look at your own self care by doing something nice for yourself today if thats possible. We are here to support you as you try to get your energy back. Look after yourself and we are here for you.

@goodkarma

That is right, I totally am exhausted by the people and certain situations in my life. Their attitudes are really not making me want to be around them. I'm referring mostly to the Rotary Club, I have just recently been inducted to.

There's just so many things wrong. Its complex and I'm just not in the mood to be rushed into solving it. I have so much on my plate right now and other areas of my life also need attention.

I'making a lot if changes to me and my life because I'm unhappy, angry and sad most of the time. Of course there's reasons for it, but it needs to stop and I need more joy and happiness in my own life. Some situations in thus instance I mentioned have just dragged me down.

I've approached the president of the club about it and that didn't go well. Right now, I feel like withdrawing as a member. I've just got to do my research into our club rules and processes.

Other than that it's a shit time of year for me as it is for many others. I just want one nice day when I'm not confronted by shit.

@Powderfinger It sounds really tough for you.

Sometimes, someone new joining a club can spot the problems better, but change isn’t alway welcome.

If it’s affecting you too much, maybe leave it for a season, you can always go back if you want to.

You are doing an amazing job with the chairs.

Take care .

@Maggie

I'm distancing myself so I have time to think and deal with what I feel and see is bullshit going on. I've tried to speak up and get smacked back down.

I've been thinking about the one person in particular. Reflecting. She is a kind and caring person. She does have that quality. On the other hand she is also very controlling and the type of what I say goes. That is not teamwork.

The other person I'm working with must have taken time off on the weekend. We were working great together as was previously agreed. Getting things done. In swoops this other member because the president cc'd her in one of the exchange emails and bibs your uncle all our hard work is dismissed. I offered to send her the emails to bring her up to speed with where we were at. That was ignored.

Just complete control. So, I emailed the president after this happening. No complaints, just let her know I was confused as to what's going on and why. Didn't get a nice email back and shut down again.

I clarified my stance in my response to that email and all I got back was a no worries Lee.

I felt so angry about all this happening. Just kept getting shut down and wanted to completely withdraw and not communicate. This happened again with another event prior. What it is, is the older members do not want change at all and are stopping that from happening. I have no voice and I'm effing pissed off.

BUT, just wait. I don't out up with thus shit for long. I'm going to go above the club, gather my evidence and such and move forward. They are still answerable to a board and committee which takes Rotary seriously.

@Powderfinger It sounds like a whole lot of stress you really don’t need.

I honestly think the world has gone power crazy. I was reading recently that pyramid structure or struggles are not what works, but circles have a better chance.

The president sounds tricky. Take care of yourself in and through this process. Good luck with it all. You are using your voice, needing to be heard. I hope you are.

Take care. ❣️❣️

@Maggie

Even my voice is tired. I'm about to crumble again. I can feel it coming. This morning I cried. I cried for the pain I'm in and feeling the pain. The tears wouldn't stop. I don't like crying Ever since that I have not been able to get myself together. I'm.in the workshop doing the chairs, but I just feel sick and mostly not interested in a lot. I will need to have a nap this afternoon. I stayed up till two thirty thus morning working because I was behind.

Today I just want to sit and not do anything but I can't. I have a deadline. I absolutely love doing these chairs, bit when they are done, I'm looking into a proper holiday for myself. I have not had a proper one in years now.

I'm.not a good sight at the moment. Just very messy. Thanks for writing.

Anyway on with the job.

Love to you Maggie. X♥️

@Powderfinger Finding out tears is a good find, it’s a step away from the numb, but it’s exhausting, very very exhausting.

I do hope your plans for a holiday eventuate.

By Having a deadline with the chairs, does that mean they are sold ? You are certainly putting your heart and soul into them, and it shows in the pics you share here.

I hope tonight is restful for you, and that you take a break.

I’m in a messy place also, for all sorts of reasons. But @Powderfinger It will pass.

Take care. 💚

@Maggie

I just don't want to feel a lot of the time these days. Sometimes I want to remain away from my feelings because I need a break. I'm.a deep person/empath/highly sensitive. I can also be relaxed, easy going and have fun.

Regarding the deadline with the chairs. I'm refurbishing and reupholstering for an elderly client. I'm able to give myself a deadline now because the bulk of the work has been done. I'd also like to get them to her too and get paid.

You are correct, I do put my heart and soul into this and have done so. I can't wait to share the final lot of photos of them being completely finished and ready for pick up. It's been nice sharing the journey here with everyone.

*Big hugs to you Maggie. I'm sorry you too are in a messy place. You are in my thoughts. In fact when I read one if your posts today the song Maggie may came to my mind, now I can't get it out of my head.

Thinking of you and take care. ♥️💐

@Powderfinger I hope today has some light, peace and hope in it for you.

Don’t work too hard on the chairs, if you can help it.

Sending kind thoughts your way. 💙💙

@Maggie

Today was 42 degrees here. That was just way too hot for me. I do have air con in the house and in the workshop, but still it was just too hot. Today was the first day where I did not work right through the day into the late night. I actually had time to rest a bit. Tending to my aches and pains from working so hard.

I loved the quote. Yes, that is me. I often wish to do this. If I owned a car, I think it might be dangerous because I do love adventures/road trips and I can also be a do the thing in the moment kind of person.

Im just about to do an update on the chairs.

Sending love your way. x