Having a hard time

Previously? During an impulsive episode, I just gave in and did whatever the impulse was.

Now? I have worked with the cognitive thinking behind impulsive behaviour so I don't have the dangerous impulses anymore. I guess it's about taking the proactive approach - in other words, I dont wait for an impulse before doing something about it. Rather, I work to prevent the dangerous impulses in the first place.

Notice I say 'dangerous'. Because if you think about it, everyone has impulses. For example, you might make a rash decision when ordering takeaway. Or you feel like chocolate so you go straight to the shops. These impulses are not damaging like blowing $10,000 on things you don't need. So try not to thinking of impulses as 'bad'. It's more about the consequences.

Hope this makes sense. Let me know if you want me to clarify anything.

BPDSurvivor

@BPDSurvivor - thanks, I'm currently having issues with the family again about my BPD, they don't believe that I have it, I've shown them the paperwork & all of that and they still say I don't have it.

They have said to me if I go impulsive shopping they will take my bank card off me and all of that. Mum got quite rude with me tonight because of my past history and with what is going on with my ex-boyfriend she was literally trying to force me to go to the police about it, which I will do when I'm ready.

She is basically restricting where I'm going and all of that. I just don't feel like I have my own freedom anymore.

Tonight I also had a massive episode with my BPD where my moods where not being stable and I got quite angry with my grandma because she wasn't listening to me and then she yelled at me which triggered me more.

What could I try to do when my moods are not stable and they are rapidly changing?

I'm safe

It's okay if they don't think your BPD exists. It's only a name anyway. But what they can't NOT acknowledge is how you are feeling and what you are doing.

From my experience, the more people tried to control me, the angrier I got. If people took my things to 'keep me safe', I'd go absolutely feral! Seriously, the animalistic behaviours came out like 'the survival of the fittest'. It was nasty!

I guess you could talk to them when you feel better, and come up with a list of boundaries? Or agree upon protocols to 'keep you safe'? eg, if I spend impulsively, I'd like you to ...,

However, I can't speak to the comorbidities you have which may throw a spannet in the works. I can only speak from a borderline's perspective.

BPDSurvivor

@BPDSurvivor - I get quite angry if I don't get my own way & when people are trying to control me. I don't like it at all.

If I keep not getting my way I get more angry and end up throwing my teddy bears.

Am safe

Morning @Fluttershy1 sorry about last night, I feel asleep on you.

Mornig also @BPDSurvivor @Shaz51 @BlueBay

Hoping you all have a good day 💜💜

Hi @Snowie @BPDSurvivor @Shaz51 @BlueBay @MDT

I had a better night sleep but still not feeling mentally great

@Fluttershy1

At same stage in the journey of life, regardless of diagnoses, it is important to come to terms with financial realities. I am not sure if they feel they need to bail you out with money, or if it is about your own money and card. Even in late adolescence, people need to contribute both financially and in small jobs around the house. In many ways it is good to feel free to express anger, but sometimes it can be controlling of others. There are dynamics in play. I cannot remember your age.

Take Care and Stay Safe

Apple

It's a very big mess @Appleblossom,

today has just been a massive mistake 😭

So sorry to hear that @Fluttershy1

I am not feeling great atm either.

Take Care