Life after hospital

Hi everyone

Well I went to work yesterday and I so much didn't want to go. I kept to myself and just did my work very quietly, i was so struggling with exhaustion. Couldn't wait for 4pm, although by 2pm i was ready for a nap. By the afternoon before i left my so called friend/co-worker says to me "so how do you think you went today" and I replied 'not great, i am so exhausted' to which she replied "well i think you did really well because you didn't way one negative word"!!!!! I replied yeah but you don't know what my head is saying.

Boy was I pissed off with her. How dare she say that to me. Does she realise how hard it was for me to struggle out of bed and hurry up to get ready for work because i slept in.

Anway today i struggled again, i woke up and was crying because i was so tired. i went to work and spoke to my pharmacist who is so beautiful and caring. She told me if i felt like going home after lunch i could go. I told her i am strugglingn with exhaustion and new meds. she totally understood. i then got a phone call from my psych who had a free appt at 3pm and knew i wanted to see him. So i left work and my so called friend did not say one word to me when i left except see you next week. Not have a nice weekend, take cae, hope you feel better soon. My psych has given me tomorrow off and has increased my meds by double to see if it zonks me out tomorrow then we know its the meds.

so i am staying in bed tomorrow, sleep and knit. i am taking time out for ME and me alone. i may go for a short walk depending on how i feel with taking 2 meds. it will be a big jump in dosage but i will see how i go.

And then i don't go back till wednesday next week.

i still can't get over this so called friend, i think she is pissed off that i am having tomorrow off. well i don't care anymore.

i am also seeing a counsellor at a community support centre who will hopefully help us with either food vouchers or some ways of helping us while i am home with no pay at all. seeing her on monday.

i am so lucky to have a caring psychiatrist, GP and therapist. They are all so caring. They do give me support.

I just wish that my husband and children were supportive emotionally. but i guess it will take time.

i am so looking forward to having tomorrow off. oh i am staying in my pj's. 🙂

Hi @BlueBay

As hard as it is I think you are doing well considering all things

As nasty as your co-worker is - you didn't say a negative thing and the day was really hard for you

But you did the right thing and she did not - you didn't comment on how you were feeling until she pushed you - and that is really something

I am glad you have tomorrow off

And as other people have said - you don't have to worry about the opinion of other people - they will think what they think regardless - and whatever we do or say someone is going to have a go at us

Take tomorrow easy - you have friends in here who know how tough life is for you

Decadian

Hi @utopia @Decadian@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member@Former-Member

I had the worst night last night, that i am so glad to be home today.

I had hallucinations very vivid ones. And hearing people talk so clearly. I can describe it to every single detail. Boy it was scary to realise what was happening. I had to ask my daughter this morning if she spoke to my hubby when he left for work this morning and she replied no - that confirned my hallucinations.

Trouble is now - I saw my psych yesterday afternoon who wants to up my meds by double dosage (quite a big jump) to test and see if this will help with my extreme tiredness. He is not in his rooms today they are closed so no other psych there; my GP doesn't work until tonight and I can't call my therapist because he can't make that decision about my meds.

So i called the CAT team and this really nice guy called back and suggested if i have someone home with me to take the dosage my psych recommended and if i am feeling not safe or really bad to call him back.

It's so scary, i have my son home for a few more hours so i may take it and see what happens.

I don't want to go to sleep in case I have these hallucinations again.

I have actually called another psych who can get a message to my psych and they will email him but as yet he hasn't phoned me and he really wants me to start this medication this morning. what if he doesn't call me until tonight or not at all. i really hate when there is no one else to call. Thank god for the CAT team.

i don't know what to do -

Hi @BlueBay

Of course you don't know what to do - neither would I

If you are scared about these hallucinations (and so would I) then it is a good idea to ring the CAT team again - and it is important to take the medication as suggested by the doctor most of the time - but now - I would be asking for advice too

And as you already know - we can't help with that - but I can confirm how unsettling all of this would be

Do you feel as if you have come out of hospital too soon?

Thinking about you - I have to go out in a while but I will be watching to see how you are for now

Decadian