Moving forward

Your welcome @Former-Member !!

I agree with that about not wanting to further trigger someone on here and as you said to trip someone up sums it up well. I think understanding someone and talking about our triggers - it really does open up a healthy discussion and takes away some of the negative aspect of having a MI and also the negative feelings associated with the trigger ie shame. I think shame and guilt is a huge thing when talking about MI and our psychological wellbeing and emotions.

I respect you not wanting to share about your anniversary yesterday and I think its great that you have been able to set an external and internal boundary. I think you doing a lot of good work and some of the internal changes are probably being noticed by others- in the way you are interacting. Its just a feeling I have but I mite be wrong. Hope you are still online.

Hi @Former-Member ... 😊

I know people from Europe who count their numnpber of swims for the year, starting with the first one in Spring, and ending with their last one in Autumn or even Winter if there is an odd day warm enough to brave the water .... and they're generally talking about ocean swims, rather than a river or pool .... there is a belief that ocean water is very good for our well-being ....

Thanks @Former-Member and @Faith-and-Hope. I guess a few things have fallen into place since I was in hospital which have helped enormously. I sometimes feel guilty because I've been very lucky with the support I've had. I know that many haven't had the same opportunities as me. I guess that gratitude is helping me move forward especially with my therapist who has put so much on the line for me. Often it's her belief that I could have a better life that propels me currently, when I can't feel it I know she does. For now it's actually the interaction that we have almost daily through an E therapy service that helps me find my healthy adult to make better decisions more than the therapy sessions themselves. Having access to the mindfulness classes and the phams worker is making it much easier to face each day as well. And yes @Former-Member shame and guilt are huge. My old psychologist used to say I suffered from shame as my MI

@Faith-and-Hope Sometimes you just want to hold a mirror up to our baby dragons with possible future scenarios so they get what they are doing. Mine is soooo stubborn and I know nothing even though I told him I have x years of life experience which does count for something but apparently it doesn't😝 I know this isn't necessarily your experience with D3 but yours is just as frustrating especially when we are trying to get them to achieve a goal and avoid future pain and a harder road.

Anyway keep plodding. Crossing fingers it works out and keep taking care of you.

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

I never knew that people in Europe counted their swims, I mite have to do the same this year from now until until 1st June. I agree about the ocean swims being really good for our wellbeing, its seem to energize me and generally makes me feel really good. My parents live on the beachfront and I enjoy going down to visit them, I generally swim the length of the beach and then walk and I do that three times- its a briallant workout.

Thanks @Former-Member .... 💐

Here's one of my little sayings .... "you can only do what you can do ..." ..... meaning that you can only really put your best foot forward and that's all you can do .... and obviously life isn't just about what we do .... others have to play their part .... and there are natural consequences in play as well .... and somehow the mix of it all generally works .... 😏

I remember my other kids not putting their best foot forward, particularly in their last couple of years of High School, but S1 had his head on the right way in terms of just getting on with things whether he particularly felt like it or not. He would take each school day as it came, and each assignment as it came, and at the end of the day, even though he ended up hating one of his subjects, he did really well over all. His ethos and previous steady application carried him through .... ❣

D1 and S2 .... different story .... if they didn't feel like doing something they were oppositional about it ... and thus made the last couple of years difficult for them, with unsatisfying results .... but they got through .... just not in a style they felt proud of ... 😔

Life lessons .... 🌿

I'm hoping like mad that D3 gets enough runs on the board to scrape through .... but I know she is not going to feel good about how she's gone about it .... injuries, illnesses, and WH aside ... I think she will have regrets .... but the good thing is, if you just get up and on, you get runs on the board in other aspects of life, and school becomes just another part of your history .... 💜🌷

@Former-Member

I have had melanoma .... and I am no beach bunny ... but I have learned a love of the ocean from my in-laws European heritage .... early morning and late afternoon ...

That beach-front sounds heavenly to me .... and I will enjoy picturing you there 😊💜💕

Hi again @Faith-and-Hope

You are wise to be careful in the sun, my mum as had melanoma too. I try to be a bit sun smart because I have a fair complexion.

Btw @Faith-and-Hope you have so much wisdom and insight your kids are so lucky to have such a caring and loving mum. I wish my mum was like you.

I am starting to get a bit sleepy so I think I am going to try to get some sleep @Faith-and-Hope . Goodnight to everyone who is still up. I hope to be back online either tomorrow or Sunday night.

@Faith-and-Hope I think you are right with that philosophy. I have been a control freak and am trying to let much of this go. I think it's hard because I'm learning many life lessons parallel to my kids but I guess sometimes that is giving me more empathy too. I think finding the fine line between doing enough and what's is detrimental for their development is hard. My son is more open at the moment but I'd imagine just like D3 some days see them close shop as they are not really coping. I have been accused of spoiling this one too much but I think it's more of a case of 5 years at a critical age of not having consistent parenting. Anyway I am trying to go with the flow and hope that the life lessons will come at not too much of a personal cost. I hope you get a good sleep tonight, at least no school battles to tomorrow 💜😊💐

Thanks @Former-Member ... you too ❣

I believe a lot of the unheavals translate into character-building in the long run. It is difficult not to try to control it all .... bit there has to be room for a creative force in life too .... it's that small element of imperfection where innovation and change occur .... 😊

Better say G'night .... I intend to browse a little more on the threads .... but in my current crossing-eyes state I will probably end up with my iPad on my nose before long ... lol .... 💕💤

G'night @Former-Member .... sleep well .... 💕💤

..just smile people and no, I'm not licking up your spilt milk .... @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member