My Mosaic

It is everywhere @Bow

Don't go if you feel uncomfortable hon. The less time we have to be 'merry' the better.

I'm not normally truthful with my gp either. For some reason I find it hard too. Maybe your SW could talk to her instead of you telling her how things are at the moment.

I'm glad your SW is around at christmas time. Hopefully with their support it will make it at least a tiny bit easier for you, even if your psych is taking some time off. I know they deserve time off, but it does make it hard on us.

I hope they do a transition with your CM. I know you don't have a good relationship with her so hoping that you get someone that you can form that relationship with. It always makes it easier when we 'gel' with our supports.

@Bow haha nice! Yess we gotta embrace the little workarounds when we find them, I hope it goes okay for you.

Oh that sucks about the vacation care, I can see why it's so daunting for you! I will keep fingers crossed for those hours of respite being exactly when you need them. What sorts of pressies is D getting this year? (P.s. I am both interested... and I also need ideas for my niece 😝)

Ach, it's hard when it's made so visceral and real like that hey. And having that on record.... if there was less stigma about SH wounds, it wouldn't be an issue. Still so much though, and it's hard to know who is safe to open up to about it. I hope that having this space free of judgement is a nice little haven for you hun. Cos then we can stick by your side and accept you unconditionally exactly as you are!

I just find it difficult with my gp @Snowie I’ve known her a few years now and she is heaps supportive and genuinely cares, but I think sometimes she is a little too thorough and her expertise is not in mh, I have other people on my team that are just easier to talk to about mh stuff.

Yep both mum and I have agreed that we will all need vacation care during the holidays @Jynx ! I especially need it for my sanity!

My D is getting my step dads Nintendo switch. He hardly used. So I’ve just had to buy a couple of games for it. And I’ve already set it up and put a daily time limit on it… she won’t be impressed! I always get her a gift bag full of art and craft supplies- keeps her busy over the holidays, she loves those surprise toys that ya unbox and they have goodies inside them. One small Lego- a minecraft one cause she is obsessed with that. I got her this book ‘everything under the sun’. It’s heaps cool. She will love it. How old is your niece??

yep, pretty in ya face when it’s written down like that! Comm mh aren’t overly concerned about my SH, they have acknowledged it’s my way of coping. And have left it up to me to let them know if it becomes an issue (how do I even know the answer to that by the way????) But of course my gp doesn’t view it like that and has expressed concern that it’s getting worse.

I do heaps appreciate this space. Appreciate the friends I have made. Appreciate you!

@Bow a switch! The lucky ducky! Time limitation sounds very healthy though, even if she gets mad about it! She'll thank you one day haha.

Aww that book looks super cute! Might have to get it for my siblings. My niece and nephew are both 8, and me being so distant (they're up in NSW/QLD) means I am not always sure what they're into at a given time. My nephew loves minecraft though, he'd be jealous of the lego set for sure! Buuuuut you have given me an idea - crafty stuff! Nothing better than doing some sweet arts and crafts together. I'll have an explore for something neato burrito, sure I can rustle something up.

Hmm... yeah hard to define it 'becoming an issue' like... is it not already? Maybe they're looking at it moreso from a medical perspective, and only assessing for things like permanent damage or risk to life? But I tend to define things more in terms of how they impact the various aspects of my life, e.g. self and mind, biological, social, financial, etc. So for you, how would you define it? Might be worth reflecting on what the line might be for you, the line between coping and not coping, and when you feel you've crossed that line and need to contact CMH.

Aww you are so appreciated and much loved by the community! It warms me to know how much connection and solidarity is shared here. 💜

Craft is always a winner in this house @Jynx but my D loves to pull everything out all at once, wants to do everything now, looses pieces, especially instructions! I got some heaps cheap mosaic tiles from online to do over the holidays. Not sure what we will put them on yet though and I’ve never done it before.
But Kmart is always good for craft stuff! And cheap shops!

maybe something that I should ask my team what that line is. I’d say I’m pretty close or have crossed it already though @Jynx the other night I panicked. Especially when my SI is creeping up pretty badly. Pretty dicey tonight

@Bow hahaha soooo typical! I love the enthusiasm though. Yeah will definitely have a poke about in Kmart! They have heaps of stuff, maybe something sciencey - I've gotten little crystal growing kits before, they're pretty cool!

Yeah definitely worth a bit of a conversation with your supports! And maybe developing some more strategies, like another safety plan but more about tools for coping with SH urges. Something to keep handy, print it out and pop it somewhere easily accessed. I'm sorry that it's rough for you again tonight, what do you think can help you push through?

Here with you 💜

Oh my gp will always ask if I tried putting my hands in ice cold water???? Urgh. 🤦🏼‍♀️

don’t know @Jynx sleep hopefully. My head is so f upped. The things I think about who even thinks this shit???

@Bow it's apparently a common tactic because it stimulates the pain receptors (thus releasing dopamine) without physical injury. But if it does not work for you, it does not work - and I imagine it gets tiresome to hear over and over. Have you found anything that does a similar function? I've also heard of folks who will keep a rubber band around their wrist so they can snap it against the skin when they need to.

Honestly, you might be surprised. We can be our own worst enemies, so easily. Is there something nice or kind you could say to yourself, little affirmation or something? I find saying nice stuff out loud to myself does help.

It’s just not really an easily accessible thing to do late at night @Jynx gotta pass through the living room, past my mum, she would of course ask questions when I’m doing it.
That’s why just sleep would be so good. If I could take my meds and be guaranteed that within 30-60mins I’d be sleepy, it would help so much! But my body is shit and it’s just hit and miss as to whether they will work or not. I even took an extra prn tonight cause I could feel things becoming too difficult to manage. Pdoc said the prns were to only be a 3 week thing… potentially give them a weeks break and then go back on them. But I’ve been using them for…. Hmm going on 6 weeks now.
I’ve tried the rubber band…. Doesn’t do it for me. my thighs are such a mess 😭

I really am my own worse enemy. I’m so negative. Negative Nancy. Guess ya gotta know some affirmations to start with though.

Just gotta do it