My Mosaic

I always went to my appointments straight from work so I was in corporate clothing. Then one day, I rocked up in active wear and a hoodie. I felt terrible. @Bow . I remember how ashamed I felt and I apologise profusely to my CM...

I never did that again.

So maybe it's not about what you wear, but what you feel comfy in?

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@Bow wrote:

@NatureLover I managed to track down a copy of ‘the body keeps the score’. It looks a bit overwhelming… (thick)! But I think I want to slowly work through it.

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@Bow I thought the same at first and left it sitting on my shelf for a month. But actually when I started reading it was a fairly easy read. He writes well and it reads more like a story, with interesting case studies. A very valuable book - it made a big impact on me. I didn't even have to "work through it" which sounds daunting but I just gobbled up all the information.

I hope you can find a way to tell your supportive SW about your bad anniversaries coming up. Good luck with your pdoc appt today...

@Bow hoping your appt. goes well hon.

Thinking of you 💌💌

It was so nice to see my SW walk into comm mh and greet me this morning. We had a quick catch up about my mh and prepare for my pdoc appointment and then sat and chatted about both our holidays.

My appointment went ok. Was rather brief. We did touch on my trauma anniversary which is coming up and making sure I have strategies in place. I’ll see her again before Christmas. My CM was not present.

I’ve felt incredibly flat today. I am really anxious about the anniversary coming up and not at all confident that I will get through it. I am safe today, but not feeling like my safety is something that I can maintain confidently over the coming weeks.
I feel so broken. Confused. My head is just all over the place. I’ve really struggled since getting home…. Post holiday blues? Or just sinking back into the reality which is my life.

Bit of both @Bow? As in, settling back into routine can be challenging in itself, so post-holiday blues might also just be the whiplash from being on the go for so many days in a row, then coming back and it all catches up. And then launching straight back into appts, I'm not surprised you're feeling a bit defeated by it all!

I'm glad your appt went well though, and you were able to talk to your team about putting extra supports in place for this difficult time of year. And same goes for us you know! If there's anything the forums team can do to help support you during this time, just let us know 💜

I just wanna cry tonight. I do feel so defeated by it all @Jynx

and to top it all off comm mh dropped my meds off tonight and said next time (thurs) they will drop a weeks supply. I don’t at all trust myself with that. Do they not understand?????

Oh wow @Bow that is tricky. Seems like it defeats the purpose hey. Do you think your mum could hold onto them?

I need more support and more monitoring, not less at the moment. And it’s not what my pdoc said today. But I guess I’m just taking up resources by twice weekly drop offs.
Ah fark it 😩😩😭😭

@Bow And you deserve to be able to take up resources hun, because you need them, and are worthy of having them. So there's been disparity in the info you've been given? Could they have made an error? If you can be bothered, it could be worth looking into. And especially as you say, you need more hands on, more attuned care right now. Is it worth asking for it?

I see my psychologist there on Wednesday @Jynx i will try and mention it to her.
I can also speak with my SW tomorrow who could contact my CM…. If she is around- she didn’t attend my pdoc appointment today so who knows.

I don’t know who makes these decisions, I thought my pdoc would. But the ‘team’ also makes some.

I don’t know how to keep doing this