My Mosaic

Wishing you the best for today @Bow. I really hope you can get some things sorted out.

Hey @Bow

How are you?

Is there anything you would like to chat about, I'm here with you if you needed ❤️

Hi @Bow

Want to talk about it?

I seen my pdoc this morning. It was a really long appointment. One of the things that I wanted to talk to her about was restarting the medication that helps with my flashbacks and nightmares. I guess I already knew that she would say no, but I thought we could at least have a conversation about it, maybe some negotiation and cause they still deliver my meds, I thought something could of been worked out. I am SHing every day and it’s getting worse each time and it’s nearly always cause of the flashbacks.

but it was a firm no.

I'm sorry you had to go through that @Bow must be hard to deal with.

I can understand the SHing. Flashbacks can play such a huge role in it.

Happy to chat with you or just sit.

It makes me angry how much control these people have over me @Snowie

There is something available to make my life a whole lot easier, day and night. Maybe if I slept better I’d cope better during the day. It would reduce my SH risk. But they aren’t even willing to talk about it properly.

She has given me something to help with my anxiety. But I’m gonna guess that it’s like all them other prn type meds that I have such a high tolerance to that the small dose she has given me won’t do anything. And that was dependent on me drinking this electrolyte drink there. (I’m noticed it as soon as I walked it… and math pdoc noticed that I noticed it. It was hers. A tube of those berocca type vitamin tablets that you dissolve in water. My pdoc drinks them, but she made me have some… and gave me the rest to take home… is that even ethical???.)

I'm sorry that you feel like they have that power/control over you @Bow That must be really difficult to sit with.

I find the same with some prn. My body has built up a tolerance to them and in lower doses they do nothing.

Not sure if that is ethical. Perhaps your pdoc is just looking for another way that you can increase your intake. I guess it is your choice however if you take them. I know you ED is very loud at the moment.

Could you speak to one of your support people so that they might be able to speak to your pdoc? Or maybe that has already happened. Do they know about your increase in sh?

@Snowie Yeah they all know about my SH. My CM was actually there today and she let my pdoc know about it. My support worker was away today, so another one came along. She was actually good.

I don’t think anyone at comm mh want me on that medication. They all just want to punish me and make me suffer more. It sends me into a spiral. Makes me panicky knowing that this is how things are gonna be and nothing is ever going to change. That then makes me think about other ways that I could possible get my hands on medication

I'm glad the other support worker was good @Bow I know the relationship between you and the Cm is strained.

I'm sure they don't want to punish you hon, but I can understand the feelings behind it. It does make our minds wander to what else we can do to make ourselves feel better.

Has your pdoc given you any reason behind her decision?