My Mosaic

Yeah my mind wanders all the time @Snowie its really not helpful.

I have used this medication a few too many times in inappropriate ways that have resulted in icu admission.
She makes it sound like someone in a higher power makes these decisions? She said I’m not allowed this particular medication and another of meds I’m only allowed a certain dose. Said that if I did it again she could lose her license? Don’t know how true that is but that’s what she said.

I'm not sure if that is true either @Bow

I can understand her hesitation in giving you the med if you have ended up in icu. I am guessing they don't want to see that happen again.

I wonder if there are alternate meds that might be able to help. I know I tried numerous meds before my pdoc was happy with the combination. Even now sometimes I doubt they do much.

yeah i get it too @Snowie . but thought we might of been able to have a conversation about it and came up with some kind of plan instead of just a hard no.

there isnt really anything else to help with the PTSD stuff. ive tried alot of medications in the past too. really feel like they are just banking on therapy working for me, but i am in no place for therapy to work for me cause i am too medically unstable and under nourished. my brain doesnt work properly for therapy to make any differnece. its so very frustrating. i feel so hopeless. trapped.

Can you bring it up with your support worker at all @Bow?

Those feelings are very hard to sit with. And it doesn't help that they keep bottling up so much.

Have you got any safety measures in place?

ive kinda bought it up with her @Snowie not much she can do though.

no real safety measures

Have you got any contact with your support team over the weekend at all @Bow?

Any plans with D?

Sending you lots of virtual hugs ❤️ @Bow

Are you currently with anyone? Just wanting to make sure that you're okay as I can see you're having a rough time at the moment. If not, you can always give SANE a call if you wanted to chat: 1800 187 263.

💘@Snowie

I’m safe @amber22

Im with my daughter. She’s with me all weekend. We don’t really have any plans yet other than her wanting to go to the shops I think.

my support worker is on shift on Sunday @Snowie so I will speak with her then. Not sure who is on tomorrow but I’m sure I will get a call from whoever is on.

My CM dropped off my new med earlier. So I will try them.

Thats good that you have your daughter with you @Bow Kids can help us get through those times.

A trip to the shops sounds nice. Maybe even brunch or lunch out with her?

I hope the new med works for you. Perhaps a case of something rather then nothing.

The local market is on tomorrow morning so was going to try and head to that. It is on until noon so don't have to get up too early!

Yes we will probably have morning tea at least @Snowie

i have a bracelet that has huge sentimental value that I need to get fixed, so want to drop that off somewhere too tomorrow.

there is a festival on here over the next 2 weeks too. All sorts of things on. But they have an evening festival on tomorrow night that we might go to.

I’ve swapped weekend around with my ex this month cause mum has a big Christmas market on in a couple of weeks and they don’t allow kid to hang around stalls, which is what we normally do if I have my daughter. So had to swap weekends for that. And then the worlds biggest Lego store opens next Saturday in Sydney and my daughter and I are heaps excited about going to that. So I have my daughter this weekend and next and then the last 2 she is with her dad.

the local market tomorrow sounds nice @Snowie what kind of things do they sell there? Do you buy much?
we love markets. Mum is going back to her regular monthly one in December. So that will be the first Saturday of the month taken up. But I think they close for January and Feb.

do you have any other plans for the weekend?

and how are you doing today? Sorry don’t mean to take up all the space