My Mosaic

@Bow I hope that things do shift in a way that becomes more helpful to you and more respectful of your agency. You can always at least highlight what you'd want to change to some of them - might as well, right?

Guess it’s just frustrating when I do express those things that I want/ need changed, but they either have excuses or can’t do anything about it, or just don’t follow up on things or pass things on @Jynx i don’t know how many people I’ve expressed my disappointment and frustration with about my CM and have been told that they will pass the information onto their team leader and nothing happens. I told my psychologist about it again today and she said she will speak with their team leader. Let’s see if anything happens…

Mm very frustrating @Bow. Have you got the ability to go over their heads with regard to your CM? Whether that's by reaching out to higher ups in the org, or by seeking external assistance from an advocacy service.

Fingers crossed something does change for you.

I have been told I can call and speak with the team leader myself @Jynx but that’s scary. And I always worry that when making complaints or asking for changes to be made that people will just use my mh issues as an excuse. Or it’s my word against theirs kinda bull shit. Or that’s not how it happened… or how it was meant.

@Bow Self-advocacy is hard, for sure. It might still be worth it - especially if going by the usual channels hasn't worked. Being ignored can be painful. And you've even been invited to call so it's not like they'd tell you you're not allowed to. You deserve to have a CM who you actually connect and feel safe with.

Thanks @Jynx i will give it some thought. See what happens with my psychologist saying that she will raise the issue. I also have a new support worker who I like a lot more and know that she will advocate for me heaps too.

im gonna head to bed now. Thanks for chatting 🤗

Really glad to hear that @Bow 😊

And you could always ask your psych or someone else you feel is a safe support to sit with you and help you make the call.

Hope you get some sleep hun 💜 Nighty night

Good morning @Bow

Hoping you got some sleep last night hon.

Wishing you well for your appt. today

💜💜

thanks @Snowie @Jynx

I had another shitty nights sleep. really struggled to get myself moving this morning, would of gladly went back to bed once i had dropped my daughter off at school, but i didnt.

I had my appointment with my dietitan. it went ok. she is super concerned about my increase in ED behaviours, doing certain things that i havent done before- so that is worrying for her. We talked at length about my case conference from monday. She was frustrated by it and disappointed. She apologised that they made me sit out and wait for so long and that i was not invovled in more of the conversation. She talked about the lengthy 'debate' that occured about the use of 'bmi' in with me, she said that my CM was adamant that it was totally appropriate and ok. SIGH. And apparently my CM is fully aware of my frustrations with her and plans to address it with me- we shall see how.. if... when that occurs.

My dietitan went over the cycle of change. @Jynx its not something that ive ever heard or seen before- which she was surprised by. you familiar with it im sure?? She bought up a picture on our screen and went over it with me. I currently sit between precontemplation and contemplation. We had a very brief conversation about preparation... some liquids that i might be able to have if i get beyond that contemplation.

but because of my increase in ED behaviours and where my head is at, she did talk about harm reduction, but i was unable to commit to any of that, so she is going to speak with my gp.

She was very understanding though. She listened to me, Validated my experiences and appreciated my honesty when i told her i felt like i was just wasting her time.

the numbers are going down, which makes me feel good. but i feel miserable at the same time.