@Bow just wanted to reply to your earlier post. I am not surprised you have so much grief in the wake of losing so many precious connections. I can relate to that in a big way, and really relate to the train of thought that tends to result... Is it me?
Over time, I have learned that these losses are far more about the other person than about us. People often have insecurities, unresolved trauma, and other mental blocks that mean they might just disappear from our lives, and never tell us why. Often, they may not even know why themselves.
There's this book I often ramble about called 'The Four Agreements'. One of the agreements is 'Don't take it personally'. It was the one that took me the longest to wrap my head around, but has also been the most valuable in helping me with my abandonment anxiety. It's all about taking our self-worth, self-esteem, and identity from within, from our values and beliefs, and not from how other people interact with us. The way people treat us is a reflection of them, not of us. The things that reflect on you are the things you do. And from what you shared, what you do is put a lot of love, tenderness, and intention into your relationships. You pursue them even if they seem to fall away. You don't overload people where possible, and you try to be a good companion and devoted friend. All of those are indicators of a person who would be a very good friend indeed.
I hope it was cathartic to write that out, at least in some way. And I'm very sad that the mum's group stopped meeting! Would it be something worth exploring if there's another similar group you could look into joining?
