My Mosaic

@Snowie Yeah. I need that consistency. Also having that regular Monday morning appointment with my psych gave my week a bit of structure. Now I have nothing and I feel so lost.

I really don’t have the same kind of relationship with my CM. It’s really different. She’s not easy to talk to. I really hope it doesn’t take too long. I could always go out in the community and find my own, but I just don’t have the funds to do that, everyone charges a gap now days above the mental health plan and I like that all my supports are in the same service.

I find consistency is such a big factor for me too @Bow

When my old psych left I had such a mental breakdown. I hope my current psych never leaves.

It's a shame when money over rides our mental health. It's a shame when it over rides everything.

I wish these dark thoughts would leave my mind

i wish the clouds overhead would float away

i wish for better days but the heaviness and oppression weigh heavy.
its constant

its relentless

I feel scared that I will cave to the urges for the end

Hi there @Bow ,

I'm listening. You are not alone.

Listen to your true inner self. What do you want for yourself and your daughter? You may not feel very strong right now, but you have an inner strength that is keeping you.

Hugs, tyme

@Bow 💗💗

I wish they could hear the words inside my head. Feel the weight that I carry. Then perhaps they will understand why I need to go.

Hey @Bow , what's happened tonight that causing you to feel this way? The last time I remember, you just came out of hospital and were able to have a more helpful outlook of things. Has that momentum sunk?

I'm here for you @Bow

That was very short lived @tyme

My psych then left- I was never told when she was leaving. So was told in my last session that it was my last session. I have no replacement, I’ve received a lot of mixed messages from everyone about my new psych. Current understanding is they don’t know when I will have a new one. Person my psych said was taking over doesn’t necessarily have room on her case load, all my old psychs clients need to be triaged.

and over the weekend was my birthday. The day after my birthday last year I took an overd. That has continued to play on my mind. Won’t go away.

im back to where I was prior to my hospital admission

I'm so sorry to hear this @Bow . It sounds so tough right now.

I believe in your @Bow . Find something that will give you the urge to continue. I hear the thoughts are plaguing your mind - I wish I could take them away, but I can't.

I just believe you have that strength within you. That strength that can help others. That strength that is so compassionate and caring. I've seen you amazing strengths on the forums - I truely have.

Would reaching out to a forum member in need be of any help to you? I know this has helped me in the past.