My Mosaic

I went and gave my psychologist her gift this afternoon. She loved it and appreciated the effort I went to make it.

was suppose to see my CM afterwards but surprise she wasn’t in. My psychologist organised for me to see someone else on the CM team, disaster. I had a so many things that I ‘wanted’ to talk to my CM about. Wanted to talk about my frustration and disappointment with if/when I get another psychologist, I asked my CM weeks ago for a letter from my pdoc for my application for DSP, I haven’t got the letter yet, my pdoc is on leave now and I need to submit all the supporting documentation next Tuesday. I wanted to talk about the mess that I made with my hand last night. It’s so very sore today. The horrible intense relentless SI. I wanted to talk about what possible support I would appreciate over the long weekend.
But instead I said nothing.

I’m so sorry it feels like it’s all just too hard right now. @Bow. Just know that you have as by your side. I’m here with you

@Bow you are going through so much at the moment hon. It is hard when our supports change and even harder when we don't have the answers we need.

Please know we are all here for you 💗💗

Sending lots of love your way. Please take care

Thanks @Captain24 @Snowie

hiding out in my room after a phone call. But need to go put D to bed.

I have a dietitian appointment tomorrow, then a friend is taking me out for afternoon tea for my birthday. I’ll be 40 on Saturday. I feel rather depressed about it. I made a very serious attempt the day after my birthday last year. Ended up in icu. That plays on my mind a lot. My D and I will go out for lunch on Saturday. And then family are coming over for dinner and cake.
I then have a gp appointment late tomorrow afternoon. Community mh said they would call tomorrow too.

tomorrow is the last day of term 1. 2 1/2 weeks of holidays.

I really hope tomorrow goes well for

you @Bow.

Thanks @Captain24

How r u doing?

I’m actually not sure how I am @Bow. I have no energy or motivation like I’m deeply depressed. However I feel ok. It’s a bit weird. I’m not sure if it’s a mixed episode.

I hope your appointments go well and that you can allow yourself to enjoy afternoon tea.

@Bow I hope today went well for you hon

If I don't speak to you before, happy birthday for Saturday. I hope you are able to do something nice for yourself 💌💌

I hope today went well @Bow

Thanks @Captain24 @Snowie

I had community mh call today. My CM was away again, but thankfully had someone call who I’ve seen a few times before and seems to know a bit about me, so felt a bit more comfortable to talk. We talked about the weekend and what I want it to look like. I didn’t really know, but said that I just wanted to get through it and avoid hospital. I was brave enough and I asked if it would be possible to have some additional support over the weekend and he said of course. So that has been organised.

I seen my dietician, and have 2 new goals to work towards. One I feel reasonably confident I should be able to manage, the other not so. She’s disappointed and says it’s not ok that I don’t have a plan in place for a new psychologist. Maybe next week there will be some news in that regard…. Hopefully.

Then my gp appointment. It went ok. I was most anxious about that. That she would see what I had done to myself. But she was very caring and gentle. She cleaned it up and dressed it.

I’m actually tired tonight. My body is exhausted. I spoke to my dietitian today about how I am lacking energy, but can’t stop pushing myself with the exercise. It’s part of one of my goals.