My Mosaic

Hugs @Bow .

Sitting with you. You've brought tears to my eyes. Your deep honestly and love.

Hugs hugs hugs.

I'm hearing you from the heart @Bow .

I hope you are feeling my hugs. You deserve to live life.

Of course you are allowed to feel sad @Bow. It’s still a loss.

The circumstances may have complicated things a little.

But you have every right to feel sad.

Oh gosh, @Bow ...your pain and your love 💔

I hope you're OK... 💜

@Bow 💌💌

I’m really not ok today.

I seen my psychologist this morning, she is so good at reading me, said I looked really sad and grabbed the box of tissues and said I looked like I needed to have a cry. She had no idea what I’ve been sitting with the last couple of days and I couldn’t even get the words out. Handed her my journal and then the tears started to flow.

We chatted a bit. I cried a lot (I have since had a post crying headache), put some plans together.
Im feeling really raw and super vulnerable. I’ve never verbalised, acknowledged or given this any great deal of thought, I’ve just put a lid on it and tried my best to ignore it. I feel so nauseated.

Its been a big day.

I sent my email of resignation today. I feel bad. But I also feel so relieved. I will continue to do my position until end of March.

My older brother also goes in for surgery on Thursday. He had bowel cancer last year and came up here to recover for a bit. But was eventually given the all clear. While all this has been going on though, he has had a belly button hernia. It has grown a lot over the last couple of months and has become rather unsightly. He had scans and tests and it’s possible not good. His surgery was bought forward. So all that on top of things with my step dads declining health.

Whys everything gotta go to shit all at once? I feel so overloaded with everything, carrying so much.

Hey @Bow

It sounds like things are super tough right now. When it rains, it pours! It can be so exhausting feeling like everything is happening all at once.

Congrats on the resignation letter - they can be so hard to send off but I hope amongst everything you are going through right now it can bring a sense of relief and is one less thing on your plate.

Sitting with you here tonight Bow 💛

I feel so dam overwhelmed tonight. So much weighing on me and things to carry. Things that I can’t change or control. Plus all the expectations that are on me as the only fit and able person to do them

in the house. The lawns need doing, the yard is a disgrace, so much stuff needs tidying up,… there is a massive wasp nest that I need to get rid of, but to get to that I need to clean up the area near it. mum wants shade cloth hung up. I agreed to do a market this Sunday for mum. But all of that MUST fit around my exercise. The very thought of not being able to exercise first sends me into a panic.
there is washing that needs doing, cooking, cleaning up after my daughter, I had a shower tonight and that needs a clean!

sorry just feeling so overwhelmed

Hey @Bow.…. That is so much to take on. You need to look after yourself as well.

Can you write a list of priorities and work from there?

Please take some time for some self care.