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My Mosaic

BowSenior Contributor18 Nov 2020, 7:26 pm AEDT

My Mosaic

I like mosaic art, I’ve never actually done any, but it intrigued me. Made up of hundreds of tiny pieces of stone, glass and ceramic. If you look at it close up it doesn’t really look like anything special, if anything it looks like a mess. But if you take a step back and view the whole picture- it’s a master piece. I guess it’s kind of like life. So many tiny parts, some messy if we look just at the one part. Some day i guess I’d hope that the mess of my life will at some point look half decent.

So here is part of my mosaic, bits and pieces kept tidy together 🙂

tagging you @Emelia8 cause you asked 🙂

22134 replies

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In response to: My Mosaic

BowSenior Contributor14 Jan 2023, 10:29 pm AEDT

Re: My Mosaic

Screw it all sick of not being able to share my words always having posts removed and being censored you are silencing victims even more

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

SnowieSenior Contributor15 Jan 2023, 1:01 pm AEDT

Re: My Mosaic

@Bow here with you 💗💗

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

BowSenior Contributor15 Jan 2023, 1:37 pm AEDT

Re: My Mosaic

Not ok today

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

RiverSealModerator15 Jan 2023, 1:44 pm AEDT

Re: My Mosaic

Hi @Bow

Great to see you on the Forums today!

Sorry to hear that you are not ok today but we are here as a community to support you. Has anything happened to make you feel this way today? I was just thinking what have you done in the past that might work to make today a better day?

Sitting with you today!

Take care

RiverSeal

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

BowSenior Contributor15 Jan 2023, 2:09 pm AEDT

Re: My Mosaic

I had horrible nightmares last night/ early this morning @RiverSeal I am very heightened and on edge as a result. I also see my psychologist again tomorrow to do more exposure therapy.

im just trying to stay busy to get myself through the day

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

RiverSealModerator15 Jan 2023, 2:20 pm AEDT

Re: My Mosaic

Nightmares can be horrible and I'm sorry that you had some last night. I don't want you to be one edge today so I'm here to support you if you want to talk about how you feel. It's good that your psychologist appointment is tomorrow and you have more therapy planned.

I like to be busy too and there has been a bit of talk about that here on the Forums today so it seems like a positive way to cope.

Reach out if you need support today @Bow, please. I'm here or do you have crisis support services numbers easily accessible if you need immediate support?

Take care

RiverSeal

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

BowSenior Contributor15 Jan 2023, 6:27 pm AEDT

Re: My Mosaic

TW: Sexual Abuse

Content/trigger warning

I’ve never been clean, it started at such a young age, they took it all away from me, my innocence I mean, stolen when really I had no idea of what was going on.
Now I’m violated, unclean and dirty, the shame k1lls me inside, they tell me it’s not my fault, but I don’t believe a word they say, surely I had some part to play in the games they made me to be part of.
What they set out to do, I was only 5 years old, they weren’t much older, some were younger. I hated every minute of it, I closed my eyes tight and pretended I wasn’t there, but I still felt what they did, i still felt smothered as they laughed at my cries.
I didn’t have a choice, no one heard my voice.

I’ve never been clean, it started at such a young age, they took it all away from me, my innocence I mean, stolen when really I had no idea of what was going on. Now I’m violated, unclean and dirty, the shame k1lls me inside, they tell me it’s not my fault, but I don’t believe a word they say, surely I had some part to play in the games they made me to be part of. What they set out to do, I was only 5 years old, they weren’t much older, some were younger. I hated every minute of it, I closed my eyes tight and pretended I wasn’t there, but I still felt what they did, i still felt smothered as they laughed at my cries. I didn’t have a choice, no one heard my voice.

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

Captain24Senior Contributor15 Jan 2023, 7:07 pm AEDT

Re: My Mosaic

@Bow ♥️💙💜

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

BowSenior Contributor15 Jan 2023, 7:26 pm AEDT

Re: My Mosaic

It’s ok, I didn’t matter back then and I still don’t matter now. I am forever scarred and nothing will ever change that. when I was born I must of been marked, set apart to be used and abused, taken advantage of and trampled all over. They must of know, they could easily tell that it wouldnt matter if they preyed upon me, I am trash, I won’t last anyways. Do what they please, take what they want. Each time I have been violated a part of me has died. There isn’t much left of me now so I might as well say goodbye. Finish off the job as they would say.

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

tymeModerator15 Jan 2023, 7:41 pm AEDT

Re: My Mosaic

Hey @Bow ,

I'm hearing the distressing thoughts you are currently sitting with. I hear how difficult it is.

Please reach out to services as needed tonight.

- Lifeline on 13 11 14

- Beyondblue on 1300 224 636

- Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467

Sitting with you.

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