My Mosaic

We don't have to talk @Bow ❤️ It must be such a dark place to feel like you're beyond help. Thank you for sharing that with me. For what it's worth, I've been in a similar place before and it was very lonely.

I wonder if there is something you can do with your little one or someone you could speak to this evening to talk this out with?

Just one step at a time

It is very lonely. Very scary. Very dark.

I’ve just tucked my little one into bed. Then just crawled into bed myself. Not sure what to do. In no state to sleep. But sleeping forever is what I wanna do

@Bow Sending lots of love

I'm going to send you a quick email. I would love for you to respond.

And there are also some services you could text/webchat while you're in bed

• Text lifeline here and it will open your message app
• Lifeline webchat
• The SANE drop-in line is also open for a while longer ❤️

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@Bow wrote:

As in DID alters @NatureLover ?

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Yes, that's what I mean, @Bow ... Just because you said "She was talking about the protector… this part of me that comes out to protect me from something".

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@Bow wrote:

i don’t wanna keep living like this

i don’t wanna keep living

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So sorry as to where you're at, dear @Bow 💔

Sending hugs and wishes for you... 💜

@NatureLover I don’t believe I have a DID diagnosis, but I do disassociate at times and my psychologist has talked with me about schema therapy… which is about different parts of us.

I’m had a meeting with my boss/ pastors today. I had been dreading this meeting since it was booked in.

little back story, I’ve been employed by my church for a while now, doing some admin work each week. We had a change of pastors a couple of years ago, they kept me on.

I haven’t enjoyed my work since the change and I haven’t really enjoyed church either, but have kinda felt tied to it due to being employed.

anyways, they want to change how I am being paid, which is fine, they have been very gracious and kind this year, continuing to pay me despite not doing much work… due to not really having much to do and my declining mh. They have also added new tasks for me to do… which may be a good thing- at least I have something to do now.

but just wondering if this is my opportunity to step away??? It’s not just the fact that I don’t like my job, I don’t really enjoy church and my mh is just too much of a mess and I don’t want to keep letting them down. I have no desire to keep living, let alone to do any work.

Many years ago, when I was struggling with my mental health, the doctors told me that I would probably be successful at ending my life. I really wish this were the case. I can’t bare to keep living like this.

Hi @Bow ,

What's happening for you right now that makes you say that?

Sorry if I have not caught up yet.

It’s all spiralling @tyme

quickly

getting darker and darker