My Mosaic

Dear @Bow , so sorry to read about your narrow escape 😞

I agree with the wise words of @Captain24 here:

---

@Captain24 wrote:

It’s a really scary place to be in @Bow.

You reached out for help which is a big thing. You also went to sleep holding things BUT you didn’t use them. I know it’s not much but it’s progress.

I’m sure your psych would rather you call when in need rather than after. Can you maybe email her your concerns? Then she can get back to you when she is available? That’s what I do with my nurse as I feel like I’m a burden.

Please know that I care and that I’m thinking of you. I’m here for you.

---

Thinking of you lots @Bow and sending wishes 💔

I had an appointment at comm mh today. Was with my case manager and my key worker from this social outings organisation thingy that I was referred to. My CM was away, so another CM attended. I was made to feel like shit cause of my lack of engagement with this organisation. Attending these activities is the last thing on my mind at the moment. The CM that sat in really got me though. He understood me. He gets why it’s hard and agreed with me that it was probably not the best timing to have this meeting given my attempt a couple of weeks ago and where I’m still at.
i sat with the CM for a bit afterwards and chatted…. Or attempted to. I got to emotional. I want out. I told him that I’m angry with everyone. I told him that I’m angry that I failed. He asked me other questions that I wasn’t able to be honest with him about.

How can you be at the bottom of the deepest pit and on the edge of the highest cliff about to step off, at the same time???

@Bow 💕💕

Feel like a waste of space. No one cares.

wide awake at 2:30am. Had my meds before dinner last night cause mum called comm mh on me in the afternoon cause she could tell I was not good and was worried about me. Now I’m awake feeling like I wanna jump off his cliff edge and no one is around.

So sorry to hear you were awake at 2.30am and feeling so distressed, @Bow 😞

A lot of people care about you, and you have the most caring support team that I've ever heard of anyone having.

The dark of the night is the worst time, no-one is awake 😞

How are you feeling this morning?

Sending 💜, hugs and wishes...

Temptation creeps in In the darkness of the night @NatureLover

I did eventually manage to get back to sleep and now I’m up trying to face another day surrounded by this horrible darkness that is inside my head 😩

I’m so sorry you are going through this @Bow. I so get the darkness now, it is really hard.

I wish I could help but just know I’m here with you and remember there is a lot of us that care about you.

Heya @Bow, one day at a time ❤️

I can hear that this has been a really difficult time. And thank you for inviting us in while you're feeling this way.

I know a lot of us have spent time in that darkness too and know how difficult it can be.

What have you done to get through the last few days?

Went and seen a friend this morning. It was ok. She asked me how I am doing…. She’s the only real friend I have and knows some of what I am experiencing, but I’m never completely honest with her.
Came home to find a couple of folks from community mh in the drive way. We talked for a bit…. They want me in hospital. 😩 I don’t know what to do.