My Mosaic

@tyme We will be away for 3.5weeks. It’s certainly exciting, a trip that we have been looking forward to for a couple of years…. We were suppose to go in 2020. Disneyland is a surprise- I haven’t told her yet.

That's so special! @Bow . I'm wanting to go overseas. Just don't know where and who to go with!

Are a few people going with you? (only if you want to tell me. No worries if you don't 🙂 )

I'm also of thinking to go on a cruise - once again, don't know where, when or who to go with!

tyme

Travel is so much fun @tyme and I love to experience different cultures. I’ve done a little bit over the years. A cruise would be fun too! My folks did one a few years back before covid and they loved it.

we are going over for a wedding in London, the bride is an Aussie and her family are like my second family - my old pastors, so they will be there.

I had an appointment with my psychiatrist this morning. There was a lot to catch her up on since my last appointment, thankfully it’s all documented in my file at community mh.

Does anyone else just go into hospital for a rest? Break the circuit? To reset?
We talked about that today. Cause my last admission I told my case manager that I was desperate for a rest, and a few other things happened and then I went in voluntarily. The 3 days of being in there I felt safe and secure, I felt calm and cared for… even though it was a rough admission and I’ve come out feeling a bit better. My psychiatrist said that if at any time I need a rest that they can organise a short admission for me to rest and reset. I just feel bad taking up a bed away from someone who really needs it. Like I should be able to get rest at home. I shouldn’t need to go into hospital for that.

@Bow , you're really suffering...if you need a rest in hospital, that is important. You're not taking a bed from someone more needy - you're the needy one.

💜

Do you ever just expect thing to turn to crap? Like it’s just around the corner and your on edge waiting for it and can’t enjoy the ‘ok’.

---

@Bow wrote:

Do you ever just expect thing to turn to crap? Like it’s just around the corner and your on edge waiting for it and can’t enjoy the ‘ok’.

---

@Bow this is so common with trauma and it really sucks; those little bits of OK-ness or happiness are so important and trauma robs us of enjoying them 😞

It took me years of fearfully trying to trust the OK / happy feelings to learn that it's OK to feel OK / happy. And I still have a little bit of that dread sometimes.

Sending hugs and wishes for you 💜

Yes @NatureLover I spoke with a lovely sane counsellor yesterday about this and she spoke about the hyper vigilance and how our trauma brain trains us to always be on the look out for the next danger. It sucks. It does rob so much from me.

@Bow Is that what it's called? Hypervigilance? Thanks.

I've seen you writing incredibly valuable and insightful posts in support of others on the forums lately - I'm impressed.

I hope today is an OK one for you... 💜

This is what google says @NatureLover …..

Hypervigilance — the elevated state of constantly assessing potential threats around you — is often the result of a trauma. People who have been in combat, have survived abuse, or have posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can exhibit hypervigilance.

and thank you.

im okish today. I managed to get myself and daughter up and we went to church. Haven’t been for ages. Only a few people commented on my voice!