My Mosaic

Tw. Everything?

hard not to think back on my life and where I’ve been on a day like today.

My parents divorced when I was little, that started the every second weekend at my dads.

Dad’s girlfriends kids made me play really inappropriate games. That started the abuse.

I was SA numerous times. He died later on. Phew.

New step dad was nasty. They separated.

Mums new boyfriends SA me.
That’s when my mental health crashed.
cancer diagnosis.
After a long list a psych admissions, numerous attempts at my life, ECT treatment, every type of medication combination, a list of diagnosis and told I’d probably be successful at some point at ending it all…. I went to a rehab.
8 mths and 8 days at rehab.
I left rehab changed.
I returned to study.

Cancer recurrence.

Found an awesome job I loved.

Got married.

Had my daughter

Then discovered who my now ex husband was. Tried to save our marriage but he wouldn’t change.

Divorced him.

Developed an eating disorder.

SA again- miscarriage.

And here I am.

not ok.

"And here I am"

Still standing, being strong, learning about yourself and still trying to recover. You're on a journey, and you may not be OK now, but you will be.

Sitting with you @Bow 💝

Thanks @Paperdaisy @Snowie

Need to not feel alone tonight.

You are not alone @Bow

Here with you. Just put the kettle on 💕

Thanks @Snowie a nice warm cuppa would be nice. It’s cold here….

Cold here too @Bow Currently huddled under my blanket with the dog.

Have you got any plans for tomorrow?

I’ve got a few layers on and will go jump in the shower soon and then into bed- safest place for me tonight I think.

tomorrow I see my psychologist. And then having my eyes tested- things are getting a little fuzzy in one eye.

I hope the shower relaxes you a bit @Bow and you can get a good nights sleep.

I know having a shower myself can sometimes help.

Hoping your appointment with your psych goes ok. I see my psych tomorrow too. I always reward myself with a Maccas coffee afterwards. Just a habit I've gotten into.

Hoping also your eye test goes ok. I wear glasses for driving but am ok reading

Thanks @Snowie

I always go and have a cuppa after my appointment too. Bit of time out before I gotta be back on deck I guess at home.
I had laser eye surgery about 10 yrs ago, wore contacts all the time prior. Been fine since but noticing the fuzzies again….. which is disappointing. But 10 yrs has been good!

A cuppa afterwards does sound like a good unwind @Bow

I hope you get some sleep tonight and you don't need glasses. Ten years is a good time however.